- May 6, 2019
- 1
- 3
- 28
- Country
- Indonesia
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Single
Hi everyone! I am in need of prayer, encouragement and advice so please bombard me with wisdom 
First, background information:
Ever since young, I had always witnessed my parents arguing with each other. In fact, I had seen bruises on my mom's arms on multiple ocassions. I remember one night I caught my dad strangling my mom, and that was the first time I heard a scream so horrifying, I was shaking even before I realised what was happening. It stuck with me till today.
My mom told me it was even worse before I was born. He kicked my oldest brother in his spine till it became 'S'-shaped. He abused my second older brother when he was protecting my mom. Yep, my father used to be both physically and mentally abusive. Now, he is just mentally abusive hahah
My parents are both businessman, so I never really received much attention since young. I grew up to be a very shy and timid boy until I left for Singapore to pursue a bachelor's degree in management.
The 4 years I had there was amazing. For 18 years I had always been running away from God but He found me one night while I was in church. I rededicated my life, became a youth group leader, and even went on a mission trip. Ever since that night, my life had always been about saving souls for Jesus.
4 years went by, I graduated and had to look for a job. While hunting for jobs, I was reminded of my parents, and I decided to go back to Indonesia for them. As soon as I landed, I had a mission in my mind: lead my parents to Jesus. It went amazing for my mom (she got saved, thank Jesus) but it is another whole story for my dad.
My dad had always been a control-freak. He grew up in a strict asian culture where children have to ALWAYS listen to their parents, and unfortunately this is the culture I am in right now.
Just an hour before I typed this I had an argument with my dad. He just bought a new phone for me, and he wanted to buy me a phone casing. I liked casing A, but he liked casing B. Eventually, he bought for me both. I used casing A and he went crazy: He shouted at me of how I didnt respect him. He shouted at my mom for being "incompetent" at raising children, and he even insulted christianity. I am perfectly fine when he shouts at me for being disrespectful but it really broke my heart when he insulted my God because I am not a "perfect son" for him. I cant help but hate and resent him. I really want to leave my house and never see him again tbh..
Because of his attitude, both of my older brothers never really liked him. In fact, I rarely find anyone who likes him. My dad is short-tempered, prideful and demands respect. He wants everyone to understand him, but never wanted to understand others. He was never proud of his childreb. To him, we are all at fault. Whenever we do something wrong (minor things), he would insult us and christianity.
Now this is the question: What should I do? I honor my dad, but I cant take it any longer. I know God never gives a situation someone is unable to overcome, but I cant help it. I dont feel safe even in my own house for fear of him physically abusing us again. Both of my brothers had tried their best to bring him to church but they gave up. Soon, I will as well.
How do I honor and respect a man like this? How is it possible to bring him to church if every little small mistake I do, he links it to christianity? I need your advice. Thank you in advance!
First, background information:
Ever since young, I had always witnessed my parents arguing with each other. In fact, I had seen bruises on my mom's arms on multiple ocassions. I remember one night I caught my dad strangling my mom, and that was the first time I heard a scream so horrifying, I was shaking even before I realised what was happening. It stuck with me till today.
My mom told me it was even worse before I was born. He kicked my oldest brother in his spine till it became 'S'-shaped. He abused my second older brother when he was protecting my mom. Yep, my father used to be both physically and mentally abusive. Now, he is just mentally abusive hahah
My parents are both businessman, so I never really received much attention since young. I grew up to be a very shy and timid boy until I left for Singapore to pursue a bachelor's degree in management.
The 4 years I had there was amazing. For 18 years I had always been running away from God but He found me one night while I was in church. I rededicated my life, became a youth group leader, and even went on a mission trip. Ever since that night, my life had always been about saving souls for Jesus.
4 years went by, I graduated and had to look for a job. While hunting for jobs, I was reminded of my parents, and I decided to go back to Indonesia for them. As soon as I landed, I had a mission in my mind: lead my parents to Jesus. It went amazing for my mom (she got saved, thank Jesus) but it is another whole story for my dad.
My dad had always been a control-freak. He grew up in a strict asian culture where children have to ALWAYS listen to their parents, and unfortunately this is the culture I am in right now.
Just an hour before I typed this I had an argument with my dad. He just bought a new phone for me, and he wanted to buy me a phone casing. I liked casing A, but he liked casing B. Eventually, he bought for me both. I used casing A and he went crazy: He shouted at me of how I didnt respect him. He shouted at my mom for being "incompetent" at raising children, and he even insulted christianity. I am perfectly fine when he shouts at me for being disrespectful but it really broke my heart when he insulted my God because I am not a "perfect son" for him. I cant help but hate and resent him. I really want to leave my house and never see him again tbh..
Because of his attitude, both of my older brothers never really liked him. In fact, I rarely find anyone who likes him. My dad is short-tempered, prideful and demands respect. He wants everyone to understand him, but never wanted to understand others. He was never proud of his childreb. To him, we are all at fault. Whenever we do something wrong (minor things), he would insult us and christianity.
Now this is the question: What should I do? I honor my dad, but I cant take it any longer. I know God never gives a situation someone is unable to overcome, but I cant help it. I dont feel safe even in my own house for fear of him physically abusing us again. Both of my brothers had tried their best to bring him to church but they gave up. Soon, I will as well.
How do I honor and respect a man like this? How is it possible to bring him to church if every little small mistake I do, he links it to christianity? I need your advice. Thank you in advance!
