- Feb 6, 2021
- 1
- 2
- 40
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Divorced
Hi all,
Sorry this may be kinda lengthy but feel that explaining my background will help to narrow down some answers.
I used to belong to a church group, actually grew up in a church group called Holiness pentacostal. We believe in long skirts/dresses, long hair for women, short hair for men, no makeup or body altering items, no jewelry including wedding rings, KJV or it was not the Bible, no TVs (well except for the hidden "monitor" in the closet), basically a very modest lifestyle. There were many other rules an restrictions but I think you see my point. If a person didn't follow these rules or guidelines they were deemed sinners and dying on their way to hell. I spent 33 years of my life living this way. Then I ran across a chapter/verse that dealt on the subject of head coverings for women. We didn't wear them because it was deemed a "old testament" belief..... Even though our basis on wearing dresses was also an "old testament" belief. So more questions just kept coming up. Why is it wrong to go to the theater but not wrong to watch youtube on your phone or way movies on the "monitor" .... Or even have the internet or a computer?
And question after question just couldn't be answered. Eventually all my unanswered questions ended up with me leaving my old beliefs behind and experimenting with life. I had never tasted alcohol my whole life, or wore pants, or cut my hair, ..... So I did everything I could just to experience it, well except for drugs lol.
Now.... That I have sowed my wild oats ... It's time to be an adult again and I feel like I am stuck. My family considers me a sinner and on my way to hell, despite the fact that I do love God and call him my savior. Now, I am trying to find out where I fit in..... Cause I don't believe that a women has to wear a skirt to be a Christian.... But just to love and serve God and love others.
So when I have been trying to go to a new church, obviously they have way different point of views then what I grew up believing and now I feel lost in a sea of questions.
I used to be extremely active in my church, a Sunday school teacher, piano player, missions leader, and now I don't have that community any longer and feel that disconnect from the body of Christ. But when I sit in on a church service, I hear myself critiquing what the pastor is saying in my head, I know the Word quite well and have many portions of the Bible memorized, but all I can think about is how something's are deemed ok in one church, such as drinking alcohol, and in other churches it's an abomination. Where's the line? Where's the black and white? The right and wrong? And who is to judge what is right and wrong? I know in the end God is our only judge, but as a society we do have standards for what is right and wrong. But is that just based off of social norms for that society or group of people? Such as different cultures are fine with women to be topless, but here in the states you can go to jail. Years ago it was a normal thing to hang a person for stealing a horse, now we just slap a wrist and make then pay restitution.....
So which is right?
Like I said, I am so lost .... And I want to get back involved in a church but it's so hard when all I can do is question everything.
Help
Sorry this may be kinda lengthy but feel that explaining my background will help to narrow down some answers.
I used to belong to a church group, actually grew up in a church group called Holiness pentacostal. We believe in long skirts/dresses, long hair for women, short hair for men, no makeup or body altering items, no jewelry including wedding rings, KJV or it was not the Bible, no TVs (well except for the hidden "monitor" in the closet), basically a very modest lifestyle. There were many other rules an restrictions but I think you see my point. If a person didn't follow these rules or guidelines they were deemed sinners and dying on their way to hell. I spent 33 years of my life living this way. Then I ran across a chapter/verse that dealt on the subject of head coverings for women. We didn't wear them because it was deemed a "old testament" belief..... Even though our basis on wearing dresses was also an "old testament" belief. So more questions just kept coming up. Why is it wrong to go to the theater but not wrong to watch youtube on your phone or way movies on the "monitor" .... Or even have the internet or a computer?
And question after question just couldn't be answered. Eventually all my unanswered questions ended up with me leaving my old beliefs behind and experimenting with life. I had never tasted alcohol my whole life, or wore pants, or cut my hair, ..... So I did everything I could just to experience it, well except for drugs lol.
Now.... That I have sowed my wild oats ... It's time to be an adult again and I feel like I am stuck. My family considers me a sinner and on my way to hell, despite the fact that I do love God and call him my savior. Now, I am trying to find out where I fit in..... Cause I don't believe that a women has to wear a skirt to be a Christian.... But just to love and serve God and love others.
So when I have been trying to go to a new church, obviously they have way different point of views then what I grew up believing and now I feel lost in a sea of questions.
I used to be extremely active in my church, a Sunday school teacher, piano player, missions leader, and now I don't have that community any longer and feel that disconnect from the body of Christ. But when I sit in on a church service, I hear myself critiquing what the pastor is saying in my head, I know the Word quite well and have many portions of the Bible memorized, but all I can think about is how something's are deemed ok in one church, such as drinking alcohol, and in other churches it's an abomination. Where's the line? Where's the black and white? The right and wrong? And who is to judge what is right and wrong? I know in the end God is our only judge, but as a society we do have standards for what is right and wrong. But is that just based off of social norms for that society or group of people? Such as different cultures are fine with women to be topless, but here in the states you can go to jail. Years ago it was a normal thing to hang a person for stealing a horse, now we just slap a wrist and make then pay restitution.....
So which is right?
Like I said, I am so lost .... And I want to get back involved in a church but it's so hard when all I can do is question everything.
Help