"Apureheart" has given you some excellent, excellent advise in his post. I encourage you to read it well.
I suggest that you focus your heart on God and allowing him to change you into the image of his Son, Jesus. If you are changing to try and win back your wife then I would be concerned about the motive and longevity of that. Lists are hard to maintain.
As a christian, focus on Jesus and your relationship with him. Desire to be like him out of love for him, not as a means to an end with your wife. I'm not saying the desire to reconcile is wrong, it's not. It's a good thing!! But it's important to keep first things first. Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. As you first do this, God will show you how to love your wife and your children better without any demands on them. You will be able accept responisibility for your sin and leave your wife in God's hands. If reconciliation occurs as a result it will be an added blessing but not the determiner of joy, peace and grace in your life. That will be centred in Jesus.
My ex husband shows no desire to reconcile however if he did I would not be interested in whether he could tick off a list of boxes of actions and things to do to win me back. I would only be attracted again by a truly repentant heart and a man who's heart is after God. A list of things to do to win my love would fade over time. The actions will come as a result of the heart change. A loving, repentant heart that wants to grow in Christ would be what would enable us to reconcile. I assume the need for the same kind of heart in myself too.
Do you know a good Christian counsellor who could help you work through the issues in your life under the leading of the Spirit of God? That could be very helpful for you. I would recommend finding someone who is well trained in helping people and mature in God.
I pray you will continue to grow in Christ. May you be filled with his wisdom, grace and peace.
Bless you heaps
Hope
I suggest that you focus your heart on God and allowing him to change you into the image of his Son, Jesus. If you are changing to try and win back your wife then I would be concerned about the motive and longevity of that. Lists are hard to maintain.
As a christian, focus on Jesus and your relationship with him. Desire to be like him out of love for him, not as a means to an end with your wife. I'm not saying the desire to reconcile is wrong, it's not. It's a good thing!! But it's important to keep first things first. Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. As you first do this, God will show you how to love your wife and your children better without any demands on them. You will be able accept responisibility for your sin and leave your wife in God's hands. If reconciliation occurs as a result it will be an added blessing but not the determiner of joy, peace and grace in your life. That will be centred in Jesus.
My ex husband shows no desire to reconcile however if he did I would not be interested in whether he could tick off a list of boxes of actions and things to do to win me back. I would only be attracted again by a truly repentant heart and a man who's heart is after God. A list of things to do to win my love would fade over time. The actions will come as a result of the heart change. A loving, repentant heart that wants to grow in Christ would be what would enable us to reconcile. I assume the need for the same kind of heart in myself too.
Do you know a good Christian counsellor who could help you work through the issues in your life under the leading of the Spirit of God? That could be very helpful for you. I would recommend finding someone who is well trained in helping people and mature in God.
I pray you will continue to grow in Christ. May you be filled with his wisdom, grace and peace.
Bless you heaps
Hope
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