Need help, online relationship :(

[Avalonfanatic]

Hey, it's me, A_fan.

Now, my brother has formed an online relationship with a nice girl. The two are close friends, but there is a problem, with that. they live in basically opposite sides of the country. Now, while he has admitted they have not brought up any, intimate subjects, the subject of love and marriage surfaced this week. the girl, waits online for him every day, and well, says she is in love with him.

He and I had a good long talk last night, and well, he is afraid now. We come from a large ministerial background, lots of ministers in our family, and all, well, online relationships are not necessarily believed in, in our family.

Anyways, long story short, he now wants to end the relationship, but is afraid to hurt her. They have talked about weddings and all, and this week, he just got scared and well, suddenly fearful about it. He wants to stop the love talk, and just be friends, but is afraid of her reaction.

After statements like "I don't know what I would do without you"
"My life is nothing without you" and such, he fears it will destroy her.

Please help, me, and give me words to help him.

 

[Teufelhund]

Hey, it's me, A_fan.

Now, my brother has formed an online relationship with a nice girl. The two are close friends, but there is a problem, with that. they live in basically opposite sides of the country. Now, while he has admitted they have not brought up any, intimate subjects, the subject of love and marriage surfaced this week. the girl, waits online for him every day, and well, says she is in love with him.

He and I had a good long talk last night, and well, he is afraid now. We come from a large ministerial background, lots of ministers in our family, and all, well, online relationships are not necessarily believed in, in our family.

Anyways, long story short, he now wants to end the relationship, but is afraid to hurt her. They have talked about weddings and all, and this week, he just got scared and well, suddenly fearful about it. He wants to stop the love talk, and just be friends, but is afraid of her reaction.

After statements like "I don't know what I would do without you"
"My life is nothing without you" and such, he fears it will destroy her.

Please help, me, and give me words to help him.

Well the worst thing that he could do is drag her on, the longer she believes in something that is not reciprocated the more painful any eventual breakup will be. It will probably be difficult for your brother, and she very well may not desire to remain in contact after this. But it is the right thing to do.

 

[Jonesie]

He definitely needs to end this relationship, yesterday. As mentioned above, statements like that indicate instability. Each person needs to be their own whole if the relationship is going to work well. You can't find completeness in another person, it just won't work. God is supposed to fill any needs that you may have like that. It will be best for both of them, especially her, for things to end now.

 

[Blank123]

wait... is he wanting to end the relationship because he is no longer interested in being in a relationship with this girl or because he feels pressured by your family to get out of it?

 

[California Dreamin']

Statements like "My life is nothing without you" are signs of an unhealthy situation anyway. He needs to break it off.

I've been in more than one online relationship, and I've -been- that person saying "My life is nothign without you", it's unhealthy for everyone involved though at the time I couldn't comprehend it.

Trust me, when those relationships ended, I was not nothing without them. Did it hurt? Sure. But I moved on. -Everyone- moves on.

He needs to do this before this gets dragged on even further.

~ Lynn

I always like your posts.

 

[allthatisgone]

These kinds of situations are never really what they seem. In other words, they're not quite as bad as they appear to be.

Just lift her up in prayer, get him to focus on his life with God, be an example to her and others, deal with her in a honest manner, and it'll be fine.

Dont take it so seriously; she doesnt love him half as much as she or he or neone thinks she does. Most of them/us hardly ever do.

 

[Sunburst]

Age wise,let's hope she's not a teen with a bad life or this could end sadly,this is why online relationships are wrong. I hope he broke this off gently.