need advice...

StillGods said:

I've played your word games before, I'm not going to again. I doubt our posts to each other are helping the OP, and that is more important than our differences.

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Go by what scripture says and move on.
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” Hebrews 12:8 (KJV 1900)

Psalm 27 said:

You’re spot on. People do make out that it’s easy. Peter had to step out onto water, and then was rebuked for lacking faith when he sank and cried out ‘save me’.
Believers have to want ALL of Jesus, or else we perish. Letting go of control is easier said than done.

Btw. I was delivered from fornication, it became revolting to me. Never give up hope on His deliverance. I will be praying this for you

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thank you for posting this

Dave L said:

Are you sure you are saved?
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” Hebrews 12:8 (KJV 1900)

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Jesus died for our sins, and the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sins so that we can confess and be forgiven.

But you seem to be saying that unless someone is punished by God for their sins, they are not saved?

Dave L said:

Go by what scripture says and move on.
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” Hebrews 12:8 (KJV 1900)

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Context - Hebrews 12:7 "Endure hardship as discipline".
What hardship? They were facing persecution; Hebrews 12:4 says that they have not yet resisted to the point of shedding their blood. That can't mean their individual sins - there is only one man's shed blood that atones for sin; Jesus'.
This is the reason for the book of Hebrews. The church, made up of Jewish Christians and Gentile Christians, was facing persecution. The Jewish Christians could escape that persecution by saying "no, we're Jews" and going back to the synagogues. But to do that, and be accepted again by the Jews, they would have had to deny Christ and reject Christianity. It seems that some were tempted by that, to escape the pain of persecution, maybe thinking that they would convert again once the danger was passed. That is why the author talks about people crucifying again the Son of God and not being able to come back to repentance, Hebrews 6:4-6.
The whole book, in fact, is about how Jesus transcends the Jewish faith - he is greater than Moses, he perfectly fulfils the function of High Priest, and is also the sacrifice for sin. Hebrews 10:36 urges the Christians to persevere so they will receive what God has promised - rather like the churches in Revelation being urged to hold fast even through persecution and death, and James telling believers to stand firm in their trials, James 1:12.

You can't yank one verse pout of context and use it to say that God will punish folk for their sins.

Lifelong_sinner said:

Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at pornography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i dont know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??

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You basically enjoy it and don't feel any guilt about it yet because you think it is perfectly natural and normal right now and there is maybe nothing at all wrong with it, etc...

So my best piece of advice I would have for you right now, is to try and take care of any other sins in your life right now first, and then maybe coming back to revisit this one later on or sometime after that, etc, and see how you feel about it then, or if some of your feelings on or about it maybe have changed or started to change by then, etc, OK...?

God Bless!

Lifelong_sinner said:

Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at pornography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i dont know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??

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Neogaia777 said:

You basically enjoy it and don't feel any guilt about it yet because you think it is perfectly natural and normal right now and there is maybe nothing at all wrong with it, etc...

So my best piece of advice I would have for you right now, is to try and take care of any other sins in your life right now first, and then maybe coming back to revisit this one later on or sometime after that, etc, and see how you feel about it then, or if some of your feelings on or about it maybe have changed or started to change by then, etc, OK...?

God Bless!

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Oh, and it doesn't mean your not saved, OK.

God Bless!

Lifelong_sinner said:

so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

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I too was a Christian who was actively exercising my sin of lust for women who weren't my wife. God convicted my rationalizing of my lust that it wasn't really that bad. How did he do that? I was reading the Sermon on the Mount one day. I came to the part of chapter five where Jesus says that lust was also adultery.

Well, I began to confess my sin, and he freed me from it. But God also led me to see that I could praise him with my mind when I happened to see a beautiful woman for his amazing creation of her. That way, when I took my mind off of my self-centered pleasure and focused on him, he enabled me to avoid sinful lust and avoid places where I could satisfy it.

Then, when I began swimming laps, God sent me to 9 pools in different cities because I moved around as a pastor. Every time I saw a beautiful woman, he enabled me to focus on him with my mind, and he prevented me from lust.

Furthermore, I keep from making any judgments about who goes to heaven or hell because I don't know people's hearts.

Lifelong_sinner said:

Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at pornography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i don't know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??

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Have you considered that your enjoyment of the sin comes from your misunderstanding of the act? Sex is not for pure enjoyment. Sex was given by God for reproduction.
Jesus said that whoever looks at a woman with
Lust has already committed adultery in his heart. All Christian churches until the 1930 Lambeth conference held that contraception was a sin. Birth control was illegal in the United States until the mid 1960s. From what I see in the 21st century, the sexual revolution has been an abject failure for Christian morality
Not even believing Christians are immune from its lies and enticements. Sex feels good, very good, so does heroin and cocaine, but we know where that leads. There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Contraception is one of those ways of death. Ask yourself when you look at a woman. Do I want her to be the mother of my children, or do I want her body so I can use it for myself?
If she is not to be the mother of my children, I have no right to think sexual thoughts of her.
Is this desire in me for creating a child or just to satisfy my lust?
Jesus told you even the thoughts of lust are adultery. Do you believe Him?
Your first step in faith is admitting Lust is a sin, an unnatural act, then submit to Jesus to help you over come it
Paul says be not conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That is what I did and the spirit of Lust has left me. You can do it to if you have faith

Lifelong_sinner said:

Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at pornography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i dont know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??

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Do you want to be saved?
I know you posted about your denominational teaching - personally I can't believe that the God who made everyone in his image and who is love, sits in heaven thinking, "shall I save him? No, don't think so." That would mean that since no one is saved by their own works, salvation would be simply on the whim of God; whatever he felt like doing.
It would also mean that there was no way he could punish you for your sin - if he had chosen not to save you from your sin, he couldn't reasonably complain if you chose to indulge in it. And why, after death, would he condemn someone to hell for not accepting his Son when he had decreed that they would never be chosen to do that?

Jesus said that everyone who accepted him would receive eternal life - not "only those whom God has chosen"; everyone. It is God's will that people believe in Jesus and have eternal life, John 6:40.
You and I can only come near to God because of Jesus' death on the cross - his life offered as a sacrifice for ours. Sins creates a barrier between man and God - unless that barrier were removed, the gap between us bridged, no one would be able to pray to God and come into his presence. Jesus did that. He has made it possible for us to come into God's presence, have our sins forgiven, be at peace with God and be reconciled to him. God, for us, need not be some scary being sitting on a cloud, waiting for us to make a wrong move so's he can zap us; nor someone we have to approach through prophets, or with many animal sacrifices. The Creator of the universe, the One who created all things from nothing is our Heavenly dad and wants us to know him, have a relationship with him; more than that, he wants us to have gifts from his Holy Spirit and every spiritual blessing - peace, joy, assurance, security etc etc - through his Son, Ephesians 1:3.

All this is an undeserved, free gift from God - free, because even if we got spiritual money for all our deeds, we could never afford it. But God didn't wait for that; Christ died for sinners, Romans 5:8.
Yet there IS a price to pay; God wants us to repent and turn away from our sins and want to turn to him. He wants us - dirty, sinful, wretched, poor as we are; he wants only that we give ourselves to him. He loves to restore people - especially people who the world, or the church, consider to be hopeless - and longs that all of us become the people that he made us to be.

Some people don't want to know this - the idea of giving up their particular sin in order to get to know God better and be cleansed by him, is not that attractive. They love their sin and want to keep it. That might be you at the moment, but all you need is to be willing to be willing to repent, and willing that your sin may be taken from you. If you are, tell him so ad call out to him; he'll do the rest.

No one asks Christians to hate sex, by the way. If we were to do that, no one would have any children and the Christian faith would have died out years ago.

While I won't speculate on Ravi Zaccharias, I will say that willful sin is a sign that you have not truly placed your faith in Christ. Now, willful sin is not simply a persistent falling into the same sin over and over out of weakness but seeking out that sin for the purpose of sinning. Struggling with sexual sin while being convicted that the sin is indeed sin is not the same thing as engaging in sexual sin with no conviction or consciousness of guilt. But the solution is not to go legalistic and resist the sin in the flesh, that simply enflames sin by creating a shame cycle. Put the flesh to death and seek Christ in those moments that the temptation to sin arises, or if you fall into sin resist the urge to hide from Christ and instead bring it boldly to Him asking for a greater conviction so it may be avoided in the future.

some people acting in or in pictures in pornography are not there by choice and have very terrible lives.

years ago I visited another country and visited a group who were working with kids/women on the street selling themselves to foreigners trying to get them out of there. it was truely heartbreaking. one womans face i will never forget, eyes dead inside, stone cold.

thats the other side of it. the cost to others.

Lifelong_sinner said:

so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

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Yes, I believe Ravi is in heaven. The question is not, "Will you make it to heaven if you are trapped in a sin?" The question is, "What are you expecting to receive from your sin that you don't already have in Christ?" God is no longer counting sin against us (2 Corinthians 5:19, 1 John 2:2, Hebrews 10:17-18). The problem arises when we look for love, acceptance, meaning, and purpose from the world instead of from Jesus. God gave us those desires. However, He is the only one that can meet those needs through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Lifelong_sinner said:

so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

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Very likely, yes.

Lifelong_sinner said:

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

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Ah. Well, that depends. Are you a born-again disciple of Jesus Christ?

Lifelong_sinner said:

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

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You'll find that worrying about getting into heaven stops when you aren't willfully sinning every day.

Lifelong_sinner said:

I’ve done that more times than i can remember, and yet i KNOW im not saved. Why some people make like its easy to get saved is beyond me. For some, it may be easy. For me, it seems impossible.
If a good man like ravi didnt make it to Heaven, what chance do i have. For that matter, why am i still trying???

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So, on what basis does God accept you as one of His own, the willful, wicked sinner that you are? The Bible makes it crystal clear that you - along with everybody else - has no chance whatever of measuring up to God's standard of perfection, which you have to do in order to be accepted by Him (Romans 3:23; James 2:10). Many have been adopted into God's family despite this being the case. On what basis? Do you know?

The Bible says that all of God's children are "accepted in the Beloved" who is Christ (Ephesians 1:6). Christ is the "door" into the "sheepfold" of God's family (John 10:9-11). It is by being clothed in Christ's perfect righteousness by faith in him as your Saviour and Lord that you become acceptable to God. When God sees you in Christ, in his righteousness, not your own, His kingdom opens to you (John 3:16; 1 John 5:11-12; Romans 10:9-10).

Nobody gets into heaven, nobody gets into God's family, by being "good enough" on their own. In fact, the Bible is really clear that good works don't have anything to do with becoming a child of God. See Ephesians 2:8-9, 2 Timothy 1:9 and Titus 3:5.

But if good works don't save you, if God doesn't accept you on the basis of your good behaviour, then He doesn't un-accept you on the basis of your behaviour, either. Your salvation depends upon Christ's righteousness, not upon your righteousness.

Good works are inevitable in the life of a spiritually-healthy Christian but it is a mistake to think this means that such works are necessary to being a Christian. If a boat has got a hole in it and is sitting on the bottom of lake, is it no longer a boat? No. Divers go down to the lake's bottom and see the boat and say, "Hey, look, a boat!" It's not a useful boat; it's not floating as boats characteristically do, but it is still a boat. Likewise with the Christian who has a "hole" in the hull of their spiritual life and has sunk to the bottom of the lake of sin. They're down there, useless, where they shouldn't be, but they are still a "boat," a Christian, regardless. If they were spiritually-healthy, they'd inevitably be living a God-honoring life, but this doesn't mean if they aren't, they aren't any longer a Christian. The good works of the Christian life are inevitable - all things being as they should be - but those works aren't therefore necessary to being a Christian.

Lifelong_sinner said:

so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

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The key is found in 1 Cor 3:10-15

10 According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.

11 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

12 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;

13 Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.

14 If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.

15 If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

For us saved under the Body of Christ, there is a very good possibility that many of us will end up only saved, but very little or no rewards, as perhaps Ravi Zechariah would be also found under.

Lifelong_sinner said:

Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at pornography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i dont know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??

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I wonder if it would help, when you feel tempted to look at pornography, to pray for the people who get involved with it instead. Even if it's only a brief prayer ask the Lord to lead them to salvation and get them out of a job in which they are dehumanising themselves. Not only will it bless them, but it will help you regard them as human beings with personalities and characters - someone's daughter, sister, maybe even wife or mother. Also be honest with God about your struggles and ask Him to remove the desire and help you to see how He wants relationships between men and women to be conducted. The fact that you are concerned about your behaviour is a good thing. If you weren't concerned about salvation you wouldn't be bothered about what you are doing.

Lifelong_sinner said:

Let me say thanks to everyone who has posted so far. I have seen some comments that actually have made me do some really heavy thinking.
I know that sexual sin is wrong. I know that im a sinner. I think i have a better idea now about being more honest with myself about being saved and why im not.
First, i can physically feel joy at pornography. I cant say the same of Jesus. How could i?? Im not saved.
Second, i dont know how to repent, and change my mind about hating something i currently love.
Third, asking someone to hate sex after 30 something years is like asking me to never get angry again in my life i feel. How do you suppress a natural act??

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And I wonder how many of us ask The Lord to remove our anger?

Lifelong_sinner said:

i have to say, that there are many good answers on here. as for me, while it is my desire to get saved and goto Heaven, the outlook is grim. but i do think my views of salvation could be considerably different than most. but long story short, i need to come to terms with going to hell. i may eventually get saved, but i cant keep living in such fear that i cant function. perhaps the motto should be, expect hell, hope for Heaven.

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The outlook for all of us, living in sin is grim, but as Jesus surmised about rich people not entering the kingdom of heaven-with The Lord, all things are possible... HIS deliverance is real. He ‘takes away’ the sins of the world (and the worldly).
Numbers 6:24-26

Lifelong_sinner said:

i have to say, that there are many good answers on here. as for me, while it is my desire to get saved and goto Heaven, the outlook is grim. but i do think my views of salvation could be considerably different than most. but long story short, i need to come to terms with going to hell. i may eventually get saved, but i cant keep living in such fear that i cant function. perhaps the motto should be, expect hell, hope for Heaven.

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Luther thinks you are closer to salvation than many who think they are saved. He says;

"First, God has promised certainly His grace to the humbled: that is, to the self-deploring and despairing. But a man cannot be thoroughly humbled, until he comes to know that his salvation is utterly beyond his own powers, counsel, endeavours, will, and works, and absolutely depending on the will, counsel, pleasure, and work of another, that is, of God only. For if, as long as he has any persuasion that he can do even the least thing himself towards his own salvation, he retain a confidence in himself and do not utterly despair in himself, so long he is not humbled before God; but he proposes to himself some place, some time, or some work, whereby he may at length attain unto salvation. But he who hesitates not to depend wholly upon the good-will of God, he totally despairs in himself, chooses nothing for himself, but waits for God to work in him; and such an one, is the nearest unto grace, that he might be saved."

Martin Luther. The Bondage of the Will.