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Need advice...

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Ryanelectric

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I posted this in another area but decided to try here as well


Ive never been a strong christian, and have always been on shaky ground with God on my part. But today something happened that i just am not sure what to do about.

My best friend and I were at church tonight for something our church does sota like a youth group. She wasnt acting right. We went with our friend afterwards to Mcdonalds (sparing the details of some things) and after some harsh words i took our friend home and drove to the parking lot of the local menards and my friend and i talked. at first she denied anything was wrong. she just would keep saying shes a horrible person. finally i was able to get her to admit that she made a mistake yesterday, and had sex with a guy in his car. at first i didnt know what to say. all i could do is hold her. she was so upset she was shaking. literally shaking, and i could tell she was close to tears.

what im asking is, what can i do to help this girl? she regrets it so much and wishes she could take it back, but i know she cant. and now shes worried she might become pregnant. (it was unprotected) im seriously at a loss. i want to help her so much but idk what i can do.
 
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joey_downunder

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OK, health point of view: I assume that your friend is young and wouldn't be ready for children yet? Your friend should go to a medical clinic and get a prescription for the The morning after pill straight away. It isn't too late for her to do that yet. The article says it works up to 120 hours i.e. 5 days but the sooner she takes that medicine the better. If she is too embarressed to go by herself are you willing to take her?

As for you: I hope you continue being a great friend to her. She is probably feeling a lot of shame and disappointment in herself right now. What's done is done.
 
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Philothei

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I think that although this girl is young can she still find a Church and talk to a pastor? I know that this is a call for an ethical decision making and it is not to be taken lightly. Also a Christian couselor might be as good at this point. But for sure she needs support. A lot of young girls fall for this and there are many avenues to consider IMHO without wanting to sound judgmental I think that even if it seems a harder decision to make keeping one's baby is a better and less stressful if someone considers to give it up to adoption in a long term than any other solution. The guilt assosiated with abortion sometimes is laying too heavily and stigmatizes a person. I know as closest relatives had abortion and totally regret it now regardless of age...


My 0.2 cents.
God bless your friend and the struggle she is going through
 
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mustluvmusic

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First of all, the morning after pill is just a crutch and will enable for her to continue that sexual path. She needs to realize we are all sinners. She made a mistake. We all do. The thing is realizing and learning from our mistakes, and trying not to do that again. It's good she feels comfortable talking to you. You seem like a great friend. I'm not sure how comfortable she would be talking to a youth pastor, or a strong Christian that can help be her accountability partner. I assume she is a Christian. If so, she needs to ask God for forgiveness, and maybe even talking to the guy and letting him know it was a mistake. Not sure if this was a fly by night thing, or if she has feelings for this guy. Hope things work out for her, and that she isn't pregnant. Let her know that you are there, and praying for her. She needs someone that can lift her spirits and let her know that she is loved.
 
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Peripatetic

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You've already done something important by giving her someone to talk to. What she needs now is for someone to be supportive but not judgmental... someone that can reassure her that God forgave her, and she should forgive herself.

You should also consider your own feelings for her. If you have feelings that go beyond friendship, you just need to be very careful since she is vulnerable and you might not be as objective.
 
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perrfekt

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good advice.

on the flip side, some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. abortion as the first bit of advice is about the worst you can do. abortion leaves a scar for life. a child just changes things. life is harder with a kid, but full of blessings. abortion is only a scar that never fully heals.

btw this is a christian sub area. not a deist spot.
 
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callmeMurph

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The morning after pill is abortion? As far as I knew it was a contraceptive.

I agree though, this is "Christian Advice".
 
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BL2KTN

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I would recommend the morning after pill as well. It will prevent implantation if a conception occurred. Fifty percent of conceptions never implant anyway.

Second, her mistake is a mistake made by many and it just as forgiveable as any other. Help her forgive herself. Do not enter into a relationship with her as she is vulnerable. She is already sorry for what she did - she is forgiven.

BL
 
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Criada

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Mod Hat On​

​


This is a support and advice thread, not a debate, folks.​

Please remember that this is a Christians only area, and that discussion of abortion is not permitted here.​

Controversial Topics Rule​


The following subjects will only be​

discussed in Ethics & Morality, Christian Philosophy and Ethics, Congregation category, or Recovery category, or any of its sub-forums. You will not post about these subjects in other forums. ​

abortion ​


adultery or premarital sexual activity. ​

illegal activity ​
Mod Hat Off​
 
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