I'm at the end of my rope with stress. I need non-judgmental advice on a mother-daughter relationship. I am middle aged with grown children of my own and my mother is in her 70s. Very active for her age. I suffer from a chronic pain condition which, really already nags me. I feel like I have never had a close relationship with my mother. There was a lot of marital issues when I was little, been through divorce, lost dad at age of 11, moved out of state and away from family a year after that with my mother. I lived with her for 2 years out of state and that was one of the worst times of my life. I continually cried and wanted to move back to my family. I was very close to one of my sisters, she was more like a mother to me. I did move away from her at the age of 13 and was raised by my sister until I got married. Early 20s. She (sister) died 6 years later from cancer. My problem is my mother was gone for years out of state. Moved back when my children were around 2 to 3. She has moved several times and even moved 2 hours away for about 5 years. Now since she's been back and has moved like literally 5 mins away from me. She is very anxious, selfish at times, demanding, disrespectful and she feels like since she is my "mother" she can have her way with me and have special privileges. I feel that she may have a bipolar personality somewhat. She is very opinionated, and she will say what's on her mind without thinking. She will tell me what to do in a heartbeat and even told me on the phone the other day what to do with my grown children, in a pushy voice and this is not the first time. She will call me sometimes 2 or 3 times a day or at least every other day. It does go a week rarely. She comes over without calling, and I have asked her nicely to call and she doesn't. She showed up at 10:45 am today and I was just getting out of the shower. She over worries about things and I told her we have to give that to God. I do have concerns of my children but I pray to God about it. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother. If she were sick or needed help I would be right there, as I have before. I do care for her, but her personality and what she does to me has made me very irritable and I do not want to be around her at all. I have never really been close to her and I feel she's trying to make up for what she missed years ago.
Is it okay, to feel like this with your mother? I know we are suppose to honor our parents, BUT do we let them treat us with disrespect? Is it okay not to want a close relationship with your mother? I have tried talking to her, but she will change the subject and plenty of times she has said "I'm your mother" like she has some special privilege or can still control me being my age. I feel bad for feeling like this, but if someone is abnoxious, is it okay not to want to be around them?
I get tense, angry and sometimes I am ready to move away. I just want to be left alone. I know life is precious, but when someone, even if it is your parents are acting like this, how do you deal with it? and I feel like God is mad at me for not being a footstool to my mother.
Is it okay, to feel like this with your mother? I know we are suppose to honor our parents, BUT do we let them treat us with disrespect? Is it okay not to want a close relationship with your mother? I have tried talking to her, but she will change the subject and plenty of times she has said "I'm your mother" like she has some special privilege or can still control me being my age. I feel bad for feeling like this, but if someone is abnoxious, is it okay not to want to be around them?
I get tense, angry and sometimes I am ready to move away. I just want to be left alone. I know life is precious, but when someone, even if it is your parents are acting like this, how do you deal with it? and I feel like God is mad at me for not being a footstool to my mother.