Narcissism?

[Japonica]

I've recently been researching the term 'narcissism' in relation to my stepson's mother (my husbands ex-wife). She has done so many things that I don't understand and trying to make sense of her actions was very soon going to drive me round the bend. I just couldn't understand why someone would behave the way she has - in some ways not move on wih her life (e.g. wanting to look after her son in our home) but in other ways moving on too much (e.g. not wanting to look after her son when asked at particular times). It was when a colleague described a Narcissistic person he knows that it rung a loud bell with me.
Does anyone else know much about Narcissistic personality traits, have experience of dealing with someone with this.
I realise she doesn't fully fit the description but there are some strong similarities. I am also wondering if I am just trying to make her fit this description because I resent her prescence? but something tells me I'm not.
Can anyone help?
What would a Christian's view of this be?

 

[overit]

I do know about narcissists...so shoot...what kind of things does she do that matches a narcissist? I do have experience w/dealign with this kind of person-I happen to know 2-3 IRL actually.

 

[Japonica]

Well, most recently she has taken a holiday with no considertion for who is going to look after her son (during her time slots) and has told my husband this is his problem, he wanted his son to live with him. She has refused to have her son stay the night with her more than once a month and refused to return the holiday favour for us (again she told my husband she does more than enough already). She has twice been in the our house (let in by my stepson) when I have got home, she says nothing to me, just walks out. She has my stepson for ninety minutes for four weekdays and refuses to move closer (she lives 20 miles away) so they have no 'home' to go to, just go shopping each day. She gives no financial help even though my husband is the resident parent (she looks after her son for 14 hours a week). She complains that we want her to do more and more (she used to see her son even less before I came along) and we have driven her away from the house (it is no longer legally her house and she had an affair and left my husband and her son). She says she can't look after her son if she is ill. She goes on holiday without her son during school holidays and then says she doesn't have enough annual leave to look after him in the holidays. She has refused to look after her son when I have been on my own with him. She absolutely can't accept any criticism and is very able to turn any comments back on you or tell you not to emotionally blackmail her (when you mention he is her son). I once apologised to her for getting angry with her and so now she behaves like the 'victim' and says we should be nicer to her and she would help us out more. She seems to just go from one man / husband to another (with overlaps), usually men with money. Her adult stepson has got himself a record deal and she has told us that she can't look after her own son more as she has to spend time going to see her stepson perform. I recently heard her reply to her son's question "what were you like at 9?" - "Oh, I was wonderful and perfect". She is so charming to her so when she is with him and he believes she does no wrong. She is so arrogant and her daily presence at our house is just horrible. She never worked when she was married to my husband and we have to see her arrive in the new convertible car she bought with her divorce "pay off" - I know I shouldn't be concerned with the material things but it's so in my face. I could go on a lot more.......... I am far from perfect and wanted to like her when I first met her but just can't. How do you think I should deal with this?