Nadine Haynes Experience

[thenewageriseth]

I've also written this and this is a 4-year-old series...About a 15 year old named Nadine who wants to become a Jazz superstar and ends up becoming a Magical Girl type girl out to save the cities only part-time...while joining a band called "Richard Sherman and The Gang" which becomes the Musicians At Play after a number of people join the band...
When you read this can you give me some feedback on it? I want everyone's opinion on this.

 

[thenewageriseth]

Chapter 1 "School Daze"



It was April, and Nadine was in her 3rd period class, with Mrs. Burns.

Her best friend, Mia was sitting on the right side of her. They all were doing their work quietly. Nadine sighed, wishing school would let out earlier. Mia wished the same thing.



Nadine was a 15-year-old African-American girl. She had celadon (greenish-gray) eyes and a dark brown Afro puff. She loved to play the piano, and aspired to be a musician and vocalist.



Her best friend Mia was a 14-year-old Irish-American girl. She had peridot (light-green) eyes and taupe-brown stringy long hair. She didn't have an Irish accent. Mia wanted to be an astrologer, one day.



“Have you ever heard of Richard Sherman?” Mia asked Nadine. Nadine shook her head, no.

“He plays the piano and he sings well”, Mia said.



“Is he cute?”



“Yeah, I have a picture of him in my backpack.”







“Show me, then.”



Mia pulled it out, grinning and Nadine whistled.



“He sure is cute. No doubt about it. So, he plays the piano?”, she asked in her New Orleans accent.



“Yeah, he plays good!”, Mia exclaimed.



“Just like me, I bet!”, Nadine pointed out.



“I think that you guys could click real well.”



“You think so, huh Mia?”



Mia nodded. “Richard's a Libra-it says so right here in the stats. Leos and Libras are compatible, according to my astrological studies.”



“Wow-wee! That's coolio. But, the chances of meeting someone famous like that can be slim”, Nadine said, sadly. Then, they both sighed in unison.



“Too bad, I bet I could have a duet with him”, Nadine said.





Meanwhile, at the same moment, Richard Sherman was taking pictures with her guitar. He was a five foot nine or ten, sporting a blue-buttoned shirt and blue jeans with leather shoes. His hair was taupe brown, like Mia’s, but worn short like Elton John’s. His eyes were a warm, medium brown. He was pale-skinned.

After he took his pictures, he took a walk with his band friend, Steven Hall, a childhood friend. He also had a twin sister named Penelope who was in the band. “If you wanted a girlfriend or something, what kind of girl would you want? I was just curious.”

Richard thought for a moment, and then said, “I would like to date a girl who was intelligent, good at piano and cute.”

“Hmmm…Nice choice”, Steven commented.

Steven picked up a New Orleans Times paper that said in the headline:
​

HAVE WE FOUND A NEW STAR-CLUSTERED GALAXY?

Astronomers say that the galaxy they spotted may be a few million light-years away…

“Whoa! Look at this, Rick!”, Steven exclaimed, gesturing Richard towards the newsstands. Richard



was astonished, when he looked at the headline and caption and the picture on the front page.



It was a star cluster, similar to the Milky Way Galaxy. A teenage girl with strange, long, pointy ears



was standing a few feet behind them, and watched them, secretly.

·························
​

Nadine and Mia went outside of the school building of Sally K. Adams Middle Charter School. It was recess. “I wish that Richard would visit our school. Well, not just visiting, at least playing here with his band”, sighed Mia.

“Oh, really?”, a raspy, sexy voice said, behind them.



Mia and Nadine turned around and saw the girl with strange ears, a few feet away. She was the same girl who was watching Richard and Steven, before.

“I can make it happen. I can fulfill your desire”, she said, mysteriously.

The girl was a mahogany-brown color and had her hair worn at the shoulders.

“Really? ‘Cuz, we want to see Richard perform here!”, Mia said.

The girl snapped her fingers. “Done.”

“Huh? Nothing happened!”, Nadine exclaimed.

“Wait until tomorrow. You’ll see him, all right”, the mysterious girl said, as she walked away, spinning a magic wand in her hand, like it was a baton. The wand had a big golden star on top of a metallic cerulean-blue ball and metallic silver rod.

“Weird girl. You think she’s bluffing?”, Mia asked, a little confused and exasperated. “I thought I felt vibes, though, from her and that wand she had.”

“SHE BETTA’ NOT BE! We aim to see Richard perform live at school, even if I just heard about him, from you! And if we don’t, and she’s lyin’, We’re gonna see if we can find her…”, Nadine said, joking.

“…And when we track her down…Butt whooping time!”, Mia added, holding her right fist with her left hand, smirking.

“YEAH!”, they yelled in unison. Then they laughed as they walked back to the school.

“We can’t be that harsh, Mia…”, Nadine said, snickering.

 

[thenewageriseth]

...Can anyone give me some criticism on these chapters or this series? Thanks.