My Wife Passed Away May 19th 2004. I Have A Daughter Haylee 15 And A Son Peyton 13. We Were Married 18 Years. We Met On A Blind Date I Was 32 And She Was 25. Neighter One Of Us Had Ever Been Married. Six Months Later We Were Married. She Fought Almost The Last 9 Years With An Illness That Her Mom Died From May 2002. She Said She Was At Peace With This She Was So Tired, But I Told Her I Wasn't. I Have Some Really Bad Times When All I Can Do Is Cry And Can't Make Myself Quit, But I Need Those Times. My Main Concerns Are My Children. Peyton Does Good Most Of The Time. He Woke Me Up 3 Times In The Night Saying He Misses His Mom. Haylee Is Having The Worst Time. She Has Even Told Some People She Wish Her Life Could End And That Life Seems Hopeless. We Talk Some ,but She Really Opens Up To Some Of Her Older Girlfriends At Church. I Told Her Life Is Not Hopeless And Time Will Help, But The Hurt Will Never Go Away. Has Anyone Had A Similar Experence ? If So How Are You Doing Now ?
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My Wife's Passing
- Thread starter JOHNNY WHITE
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GreenEyedLady
My little Dinky Doo
I was not nearly as young as your haylee when my dad passed away but i know her feeling. I was 25 when I lost my father on Christmas day. I was angry for along time and felt SO cheated. I also felt like no one really understood how I felt. I understand why she cannot talk to you alot about. She knows that you are hurting and doesn't want to make you hurt more. Also I am sure she thinks that her grief in differant from yours because its her mom, not yours. Am I making sense? 15 is such a hard age and dealing with the loss of mom at the same time is a big load for Haylee.
My daughter lost her sister 2 years ago. She tells me sometimes she cannot wait to die. At first I was really scared, thinking......oh no.......she might take her own life. But then after talking with her she wants to go to heaven because Chey is up there. She wants to see Chey again. I make sure to encourage her to take what God has given us (our thorns in our sides) and seek out what God wants us to do with our thorns.
Alot of people might recommend counciling for your daughter. I have not put my daughter or my self in any counciling since losing both my parents and my twin daughter. I think time and just being consistant on making sure when you talk to Haylee about your wife, its about her mom, not your wife. Does that make sense? I try my best to pull my own grief in my heart, and try to help my daughter with the grief of losing her sister.
I hope I have helped you.
May the Lord contine to bless your family with strength.
GEL
My daughter lost her sister 2 years ago. She tells me sometimes she cannot wait to die. At first I was really scared, thinking......oh no.......she might take her own life. But then after talking with her she wants to go to heaven because Chey is up there. She wants to see Chey again. I make sure to encourage her to take what God has given us (our thorns in our sides) and seek out what God wants us to do with our thorns.
Alot of people might recommend counciling for your daughter. I have not put my daughter or my self in any counciling since losing both my parents and my twin daughter. I think time and just being consistant on making sure when you talk to Haylee about your wife, its about her mom, not your wife. Does that make sense? I try my best to pull my own grief in my heart, and try to help my daughter with the grief of losing her sister.
I hope I have helped you.
May the Lord contine to bless your family with strength.
GEL
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Thank You For Your Response. Haylee Is Being Counciled And Has Been For Some Time Just Dealing With Her Moms Illness. I Know We Will Work Through This And Sun Will Shine. God Is Good All The Time. I Hope You And Your Daughter Will Continue Healing. We Will Never Get Over This But Only With God At Our Side Will We Heal. God Bless You And Your Daughter.
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GreenEyedLady
My little Dinky Doo
Jonny,
I wanted to share with you what the Lord told me yesterday as I attended a wake service for a close friend of the family.
God wants us to look at death as a new beginning, not an end and surley not a moment. What I mean is that one eventually has to make a decision about the death of the loved one. Either, stay in the moment and stay angry or bitter, let it be the end and see God far away, or let it be a new beginning and seek the Lord with all your soul, asking HIM for his strength. He says He will strengthen you and believe HIM. He means it.
The death of a loved one is not something that you ever "get over" but there will come a time near the end of your mourning, that you will make a decision. Grief has 2 stages, grieving and mourning. When you mourn......you cannot stop thinking about your loved one. When you get into the grief stage, you have made your decision and your mind is not constantly on the pain.
Jonny, God WILL get you though the road you are on. You will always be on this road of grief, that will not change, but the bumps and curves in the road are ALOT easier to take with God helping you along the way. I have accepted the road God has put me on........down to the very stone in the path. I have accepted this road as HIS will for me.
That acceptance has taken some time, continue to seek HIM and his strength. Find a life verse!! Use it daily.
In prayer,
GEL
I wanted to share with you what the Lord told me yesterday as I attended a wake service for a close friend of the family.
God wants us to look at death as a new beginning, not an end and surley not a moment. What I mean is that one eventually has to make a decision about the death of the loved one. Either, stay in the moment and stay angry or bitter, let it be the end and see God far away, or let it be a new beginning and seek the Lord with all your soul, asking HIM for his strength. He says He will strengthen you and believe HIM. He means it.
The death of a loved one is not something that you ever "get over" but there will come a time near the end of your mourning, that you will make a decision. Grief has 2 stages, grieving and mourning. When you mourn......you cannot stop thinking about your loved one. When you get into the grief stage, you have made your decision and your mind is not constantly on the pain.
Jonny, God WILL get you though the road you are on. You will always be on this road of grief, that will not change, but the bumps and curves in the road are ALOT easier to take with God helping you along the way. I have accepted the road God has put me on........down to the very stone in the path. I have accepted this road as HIS will for me.
That acceptance has taken some time, continue to seek HIM and his strength. Find a life verse!! Use it daily.
In prayer,
GEL
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