- Apr 26, 2013
- 162
- 119
- 41
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I wasn't born in a very nice environment . My parents, as long as I could remember, always fight. I felt tension, horror, home was never a place I wanted to be. so along my life i was always longing for a secure stable love , and I always have to try hard to be good so people could love me. I won scholarships in college and got every reward I could. I felt nobody love me. I felt not enough so after college I went to graduate school when I started to seek relationship and wanting to get married. But My dating history became a disaster and I felt disappointed,because I don't know what love is . I was seeking something human cannot give. I decided quit dating. My temper starts to be wavy because I lack of the basic need of Gods love , So I often feel offended if people disagree with me.during one time i went through extreme pain and horror what happened in my childhood repeatedly playing in my head. .and my soul starts crying out. Finally God told me. Hey, I am here, as always. I care about you and protect you all the time. If you just believe me , your life will be much better. I am glad you told me your Childhood. I am sorry you suffered. I felt painful to watch too. But what you suffered made you stronger. After a time I was surrounded myself with Christian TV and book and music I felt very clear change of my life. I know I am blessed and I can live a life God has.i can be as happy as I can be ,I laugh in my family eventhough I don't agree with everyone else or like everyone's personality or how they think or does I can love them anyway . i can be sound and stable. God may not like everything I do but he loves me, Even though he hasn't given me everything I want ,he will give me things beyond I can think and imagine.i love myself because God love me. I know there are certain things I want to change in me but I love myself in the process.i am living abundant, above and beyond .
