S
ScottHere
Guest
Well, for years I have been an off and on "Christian". I have done things I knew were wrong and I am still struggling with some of them. But, here it is:
My dad left when I was 10 or 11 and began working in another state and coming home on weekends. For a while, he came home every weekend, then he became so busy that we started coming home every other weekend. This is relevant to later in the story.
A couple years after this, I began doing things like looking at porn, masturbating {with lust}, taking God's Name in vain, using profanity, etc. Now, maybe a year ago, from now, I became so down and depressed that I began to worship the evil one...It began on Halloween night. I did this for a while, just mainly praying to him and blaspheming the God of Heaven. Fastworard a little bit: I got into therapy and I found the deep reason why I began doing this. Many, if not all people see a link between God and their dad. Their view of God has alot to do with what their dad is like. Dad began coming home months at a time and my rage grew. I was boiling mad. So, naturally, my view of God was dimmed because I was so angry at my earthly father. Now, because I wanted revenge on dad, I got revenge on God by worshipping His #1 enemy. I'm beginning to realize, though it's still a struggle to understand sometimes, that my dad and God are not alike. God will never leave. Coming November 25, it will have been one year since I've seen him, because he's working in Flordia. One of my sister's think he has a girl friend down there {My mom and dad are still married} and I have to say, it's not impossible. I don't know what I would do if I had proof of this, but it's nice to know God got through my hard head and hard heart. It's also nice to know that we all never have to be alone.
God Bless.
My dad left when I was 10 or 11 and began working in another state and coming home on weekends. For a while, he came home every weekend, then he became so busy that we started coming home every other weekend. This is relevant to later in the story.
A couple years after this, I began doing things like looking at porn, masturbating {with lust}, taking God's Name in vain, using profanity, etc. Now, maybe a year ago, from now, I became so down and depressed that I began to worship the evil one...It began on Halloween night. I did this for a while, just mainly praying to him and blaspheming the God of Heaven. Fastworard a little bit: I got into therapy and I found the deep reason why I began doing this. Many, if not all people see a link between God and their dad. Their view of God has alot to do with what their dad is like. Dad began coming home months at a time and my rage grew. I was boiling mad. So, naturally, my view of God was dimmed because I was so angry at my earthly father. Now, because I wanted revenge on dad, I got revenge on God by worshipping His #1 enemy. I'm beginning to realize, though it's still a struggle to understand sometimes, that my dad and God are not alike. God will never leave. Coming November 25, it will have been one year since I've seen him, because he's working in Flordia. One of my sister's think he has a girl friend down there {My mom and dad are still married} and I have to say, it's not impossible. I don't know what I would do if I had proof of this, but it's nice to know God got through my hard head and hard heart. It's also nice to know that we all never have to be alone.
God Bless.
