To be honest I don't know why I am posting this. I can't talk about it without having flashbacks...getting angry...and all that other stuff...but I feel that there is a reason for me sharing this, which I have no clue what that is at the moment...so enough of me rambling.
The abuse started when I was around the age of 3-4. My mom was always at work and my sister and brother would be with the babysitter(a girl my dad would do drugs with)...my dad would force me to do things that I'm not going to say....when I didn't he would beat me...he would take pictures of me naked...and many other things..that I'm not going to bring up....this happened up until I was 12. I ran away from home and stayed with a friend for about 4 months, my mom finally came to where I was staying and asked what it would take to get me home...I told her I would come home if he left...he moved out on my 13th birthday(best birthday of my life)...so just when I think I would never have to go through something like that (a week after my 13th birthday and the same day a friend of mine died) my brothers friends decided to have a go at it. I'm very thankful that another friend was coming down the hall just before the guys could rape me...this happened 3 times....(if you could see me right now you would see black mascara running down my face...argh...)...
I have to wake up every morning and and choose joy..I have toforgive all the people that have hurt me...I do this to many times a day to count...its something I have to live with for the rest of my life...I can't pretend I know why this happened...but I do know that God wont let anything happen to me that I can't handle. I hope to help people get through the things I have gone through...because it will help me realize that it has happened for a reason...so there is a bit of my story...not many people get to hear/read it...
The abuse started when I was around the age of 3-4. My mom was always at work and my sister and brother would be with the babysitter(a girl my dad would do drugs with)...my dad would force me to do things that I'm not going to say....when I didn't he would beat me...he would take pictures of me naked...and many other things..that I'm not going to bring up....this happened up until I was 12. I ran away from home and stayed with a friend for about 4 months, my mom finally came to where I was staying and asked what it would take to get me home...I told her I would come home if he left...he moved out on my 13th birthday(best birthday of my life)...so just when I think I would never have to go through something like that (a week after my 13th birthday and the same day a friend of mine died) my brothers friends decided to have a go at it. I'm very thankful that another friend was coming down the hall just before the guys could rape me...this happened 3 times....(if you could see me right now you would see black mascara running down my face...argh...)...
I have to wake up every morning and and choose joy..I have toforgive all the people that have hurt me...I do this to many times a day to count...its something I have to live with for the rest of my life...I can't pretend I know why this happened...but I do know that God wont let anything happen to me that I can't handle. I hope to help people get through the things I have gone through...because it will help me realize that it has happened for a reason...so there is a bit of my story...not many people get to hear/read it...
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...sorry..just having a bad day