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My story

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BrokenForHim

BrokenForHim

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To be honest I don't know why I am posting this. I can't talk about it without having flashbacks...getting angry...and all that other stuff...but I feel that there is a reason for me sharing this, which I have no clue what that is at the moment...so enough of me rambling.

The abuse started when I was around the age of 3-4. My mom was always at work and my sister and brother would be with the babysitter(a girl my dad would do drugs with)...my dad would force me to do things that I'm not going to say....when I didn't he would beat me...he would take pictures of me naked...and many other things..that I'm not going to bring up....this happened up until I was 12. I ran away from home and stayed with a friend for about 4 months, my mom finally came to where I was staying and asked what it would take to get me home...I told her I would come home if he left...he moved out on my 13th birthday(best birthday of my life)...so just when I think I would never have to go through something like that (a week after my 13th birthday and the same day a friend of mine died) my brothers friends decided to have a go at it. I'm very thankful that another friend was coming down the hall just before the guys could rape me...this happened 3 times....(if you could see me right now you would see black mascara running down my face...argh...)...

I have to wake up every morning and and choose joy..I have toforgive all the people that have hurt me...I do this to many times a day to count...its something I have to live with for the rest of my life...I can't pretend I know why this happened...but I do know that God wont let anything happen to me that I can't handle. I hope to help people get through the things I have gone through...because it will help me realize that it has happened for a reason...so there is a bit of my story...not many people get to hear/read it...
 
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beloved001

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Oh, dear sis, My heart acheing for u...
but same time, i want to tell u, can u put on trust on God?
I m from similar abuse situations, and i learnt, only God can heal us, I m still on the path myself, but i have seen some light.

I just going through v hard trauma flashes backs, a bit better, i m much elder than u, if u need help or just someone to listen to u sometimes, u can pm me any time.

and I encourage u to write more here.... writing and posting is a good way, too, also find a prayer partner to pray with u is important.Hugs:hug:
 
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Romanseight2005

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Oh hun, my heart longs for you to truly know love. God really does love you, and my prayer is that you will not only have faith that He does, but that you will receive his love through His disciples. Do you have a church family? Are there people who you can pray with, cry with, get hugs when you need them, etc? I also want to tell you about a woman named Stephanie Fast. Have you heard of her? She might be a tremendous source of strength for you. Here is a link with part of her story. You might search around for the rest of it. It is amazing.

http://www.christianwomentoday.com/closet/outcast.html

I will leave you with a hug and a pryer. But Jesus Christ will never leave you.
 
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BrokenForHim

BrokenForHim

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to answer your question yes I do have a church family...not many people know about my past though...my youth pastor does a lil bit only because his wife and I are really close..but she doesn't know very much either​
 
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Romanseight2005

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BrokenForHim said:
to answer your question yes I do have a church family...not many people know about my past though...my youth pastor does a lil bit only because his wife and I are really close..but she doesn't know very much either​
Click to expand...

Pray that God will bring the right people to you for you to share with. You can always come here and open up about whatever you need to, though. I want to remind you of this scripture these scriptures that God promises us....
Jer 29:11-12
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
NIV

Joel 2:25-26

25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.
KJV

And, here are more hugs!:hug::hug:
 
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LazeyWinde

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*Hugs Broken* I know you probably don't feel it but you're vrey strong Broken to even think about forgiving them for hurting you, a very admirable quality :hug::hug::hug::hug: I have trouble forgiving people for even minor trespasses. it also took you a lot of courage to share your story with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :prayer:
 
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