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My Story....

elf_lady_9

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hey everyone, this is part of the first chapter of the story i am currently writing. it doesn't really have a title yet, and it's not totally edited or anything, but here it is:

Aidan lurched up, his face damp with sweat, and his breath coming in short, rapid gasps. His heart pounded wildly as he looked frantically around the room for his hidden enemy, the man who had been bending over him just seconds ago. With wakefulness came the realization that he was safe in his own chambers in the castle, and there was no enemy. He began to grow calmer. It had only been a dream. No, not only a dream, the dream. The nightmare that had haunted his sleep since he was a child. He buried his head in his hands, trying to force away the images. It was useless; they came flooding in-- all the nightmarish memories he should not have had. It was next to impossible that he should remember,as he had been but a babe at the time. No normal person.... but when had he ever been normal, he thought bitterly. The images were too clear to be mere imagination, even though he had heard the story from the castle guard many times; the story of what they had found that night. Besides, he had had the dream since he was five years old. Sometimes he would not have it for months, but it would always return, leaving him exhausted and shaken, and filled with a deep sadness. And always the same dream, the details never once changing. the frantic screams of a woman, a man’s anguished shouts, and the cries of infants. lying helpless as an evil face bent over him, being caught in a cruel grasp. then jerked back into a pair of strong familiar arms. then the sound of swords being drawn. then blood, dark red, gushing every where, and a sensation of falling. the sobbing woman dragged away by the dark figure. and the figure with the weird, evil eyes bending over him again with a triumphant smile. at this moment Aidan would wake up, filled with senseless terror. This, according to what the captain of the guards told Aidan, was when he and his men had arrived, and the intruders had fled. They had found Aidan, just a small baby then, clasped tightly in the arms of his dying father. The young man had been brutally stabbed through the chest, his own sword lying on the floor nearby, snapped in two. A search showed the room to be empty; of the princess, Aidan’s mother, and his twin brother there was no sign. A search party was sent out immediately to scour the countryside, but they could discover nothing. The prince never regained consciousness; and so the events of that night remained a mystery. They traveled to the Castle, bearing to the King and Queen the sad news of the death of their only son, and also bringing to them Aidan, now the only heir to the kingdom. And there he had lived for nearly all his seventeen years.....

comments would be appreciated. :)
 

elf_lady_9

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NeoScribe said:
Intruiging, is there more? What kind of time period is this?

thanks :) there is more, but i only have like the first couple chapters, and it's not all edited yet. it's a fantasy, so it's not really any certain time period, just your typical fairy tale setting. you know, the whole king, queen, castle medevial type thing, but with my own little twists.
 
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elf_lady_9

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Tariel said:
I like it :thumbsup: very sad and beautiful :cry: ^_^

nowbeginsforever said:
I really like it. I think that with a tad bit more editing, then it'll be great! You've got me hooked.


Thanks guys! :)
 
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elf_lady_9

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NeoScribe said:
What kind of twist?



I'm nosy

that's ok, i'm nosy too when it comes to other peoples' writing :p. for example, i'm extremely interested in the story that you just finished writing 100 pages of.... it sounded intriguing too. :)

the twists aren't really anything specific yet, i've kinda got a bunch of ideas floating around in my head that i have to get down.
what i really meant was that it's just different from the usual fairy tale setting in that it's a bit darker and more depressing .
 
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Tariel

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elf_lady_9 said:
that's ok, i'm nosy too when it comes to other peoples' writing :p. for example, i'm extremely interested in the story that you just finished writing 100 pages of.... it sounded intriguing. :)

the twists aren't really anything specific yet, i've kinda got a bunch of ideas floating around in my head that i have to get down.
what i really meant was that it's just different from the usual fairy tale setting in that it's a bit darker and more depressing .
sounds like my kind of story!!! can't wait to read it ^_^
 
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Lessien

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elf_lady_9 said:
that's ok, i'm nosy too when it comes to other peoples' writing :p. for example, i'm extremely interested in the story that you just finished writing 100 pages of.... it sounded intriguing. :)

the twists aren't really anything specific yet, i've kinda got a bunch of ideas floating around in my head that i have to get down.
what i really meant was that it's just different from the usual fairy tale setting in that it's a bit darker and more depressing .

I like that kind of story, too. Keep up the good work!
 
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NeoScribe

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that's ok, i'm nosy too when it comes to other peoples' writing :p. for example, i'm extremely interested in the story that you just finished writing 100 pages of.... it sounded intriguing too. :)

the twists aren't really anything specific yet, i've kinda got a bunch of ideas floating around in my head that i have to get down.
what i really meant was that it's just different from the usual fairy tale setting in that it's a bit darker and more depressing .

Dark and Depressing. I like it, a good-break off from the regular fantasy. I'm eager to read more. And thanks for the compliment.
 
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