My Story

[ZACTAK]

Since before I can remember, I was verbally and mentally abused by my father. I have blocked out much of my past that involves those horrible moments which were quite frequent. Not even my closest friends know the tip of what it was like to live in that house. For the memories I do remember it is almost too painful to talk about. I used to look forward to nights when my dad wasn't coming home until late, or when he would have business trips. His voice would make me cringe.

During this time, my faith in God was tested, I felt trapped, I couldn't get away no matter how hard I tried. I asked my mom if I could move out several times but I never got to... until I went away to college where I am at now. I purposely went as far away in the state as possible.. so I wouldn't have to deal with my past.

When I moved away, I realized I had a lot of trust issues and self esteem issues that can be attributed to the verbal abuse of my dad. But as I am starting to come around, I have realized why God put me through it. I am majoring in social work so I can become a counselor in a juvenile delinquent center or an at-risk youth center in the future. I want to provide for these students the way my dad never did. God put me through this, so I could relate to some of these individuals and hopefully impact their life and give them a life worth living.

I am thankful for this section as I can finally talk to people about things that others don't understand... such as when one of my roommates made a comment about me that made me not trust him anymore, and not talk with him for 2 days. We cleared it up, but I am not as close to him as I was, and I probably won't end not trusting him as much. But I can't wait to get to know you all a little better and be able to relate.

 

[Endearing lil Influenza]

*hugs*

 

[~BelovedDaughter~]

I guess I'll use Zach's thread for my story.

Around the time I was 5 or so, my dad started abusing me. It started as physical hitting and verbal stuff, then progressed to sexual things. It was never rape, praise God, but other things. I was constantly threatened that I would tear the family apart if I told, that my mom would hate me, etc. But, about a month before I turned 16, I got up the courage to tell someone. I told my best friend at the time, who went with me to tell our youth pastor, who told our pastor, who called the proper authorities. I ended up having to tell them what happened, and a for a long time, all I did was tell the story over and over. My mom was terribly upset...at herself because she said she never realized it was happening, and at my dad because he didn't seem capable of doing that. Well, here I am at 21 and alive to tell the story. It still hurts inside, but the more I let out, the better I feel.

 

[shazabella]

*hugs to both of you*

Thank you for being brave enough to share your stories

- Shaz

 

[mesue]

NFSteelers and HisPureGirl

 

[~BelovedDaughter~]

Thank you all. It is rough, but I try not to let myself feel like a victim.

 

[trust_faith]

OH.... very terrible to hear all these kind of things. I will keep u in prayer.. Hugs to you. Pray to God. He will guide u tru all these hard ships...

 

[ZACTAK]

I am with Mary on this one, I try not to feel like the victim. Thank you all for your support and prayers it is greatly greatly appreciated.

 

[~BelovedDaughter~]

Yes, the prayers are greatly appreciated! Please keep some of my family members in prayer...something has happened to 2 of my cousins...and it's not good.

 

[beetlequeendiva]

Wow hugs to you both.... I will pray for your family situation His Pure Girl... keep us updated

 

[waiting for him]

NFSteelers:
May God bless you! Allthough we may not choose some of the paths that we have been dealt we know that if we can hold on for even just a minute, God will be there waiting for us. You are in my prayers. God has opened so many doors from this aweful experience in your life. Never forget what he has done for you through this! God will continue to open your mind and your heart. May God bless you with your wonderful new life that you have opened on your own.

 

[ZACTAK]

NFSteelers:
May God bless you! Allthough we may not choose some of the paths that we have been dealt we know that if we can hold on for even just a minute, God will be there waiting for us. You are in my prayers. God has opened so many doors from this aweful experience in your life. Never forget what he has done for you through this! God will continue to open your mind and your heart. May God bless you with your wonderful new life that you have opened on your own.

Amen, thank you for your kind words, they are very much appreciated, and bring a huge smile to my face.