My Sister

[DanPev]

The situation with my sister has changed drastically over the past couple months, and I feel like I could use some advice on what I should do. And since you guys were so helpful last time!

Well, after she was admitted to this Behavioral Medicine Center for major depression, her psychiatrist put her on antidepressants. She came home and everything started getting better. She still had an eating disorder but my mom was getting her a counselor and she went to a nutritionist and everything. Then, suddenly two weeks ago monday she through away her medication, and by Thursday night she was deppressed again and actually cut herself. Now she has been cutting herself for two weeks, and refuses to take any medication. When I talked to her last night she told me that cutting was a good way to relieve stress. It's like you can't reason with her. Nothing I say makes any impact.

So, she is going to all these shrinks and stuff, and sometimes is seams like she makes a baby step in the right direction but then a day later she goes two steps in the opposite direction.

What can I do? Other that being a supportive brother is there anything I should say?

 

[Soulwings]

Just be there for her - like you said. Don't judge her for cutting. And try not to tell her that she shouldn't do it - I think that deep down, she knows that she shouldn't. It's just something that you've got to realise yourself. People telling her won't make her stop. I speak from experience. And if she does end up stopping to make you and the rest of your family happy .... it will probably backfire. This, also, is spoken from experience. And doing that would also undermine the whole mental healing thing too, because you are supposed to stop cutting when you want to because you don't need it anymore ... and if you stop when you DO still need it .... the withdrawal is going to be awful. Just like going cold turkey with cigarettes. I've never experienced anything so, well, AWFUL.

How old is she?? Unless she is over 18, she really shouldn't be allowed to decide whether or not to take her meds. Does she know about the withdrawal stuff from some ADs? (some, as I don't know what AD she is on.) And do you have any idea why she would throw away something that was helping her?

And how is the ED right now? You mentioned SI - self injury, aka cutting - but not much about the ED and nutritionist stuff. That can play a large part in the mental stuff behind cutting as well, the feeling fat and worthless and like the world is going to be horrible until you lose XX amount of pounds.

Anyway. That's just some rambling ... I hope it's slightly coherent!! Thank you for caring, though. That means a lot.

 

[DanPev]

Yeah, this afternoon she was admitted to this hospital about an hour from our house; my mom and I just got back from visiting her.

Neither my mom or I told her to stop cutting, my mom told her to take her medication but my sister said that we couldn't shove it down her throat. She had three reasons for quitting her meds, 1.) she felt that they made her sleep all the time and she couln't do anything all day, 2.) she said that they didn't work, 3.) she felt that she was getting a dependency on them. She is 16, and she knows that not taking the medications is not an option. But she just refused. And its not like I can shove them down her throat. Thats a decision that she is going to have to make. She is on Zoloft; I don't think that it has any serious withdrawal effect. I'm sure that it's not good to stop and start like has though.

This whole thing started with the ED. She felt fat and worthless, like you said, then she got deppressed. She says she is a failure because she hasn't acheived her goal weight, but she thinks that everything is normal and that all the doctor's appointments are pointless and unnecessary.

You know, I can see that she has a fierce internal struggle. She is silently crying for help. One side of her is telling her to do all this ED and SI. The other side knows it is wrong. My mom says that she sensed that Rosie (my sister), was relieved when she found out that she was going to be admitted to the hospital, like she felt safer there than at home.

Thanks alot! Your response was very coherent and make a lot of sense!

 

[Soulwings]

I'm glad she got admitted to hos. It's a good place to keep her safe. ((I was admitted to the psych ward three times, so I kinda get the whole being in hos for safety reasons thing. ))

Stopping any med cold turkey isn't good for your body, whether or not it has withdrawal effects. And no, I know that you can't shove them down her throat, but... I don't know, at 16 she should know to talk with her psych about them if they don't seem to be working or have unpleasant side effects that don't go away within three weeks. That's the usual time for any AD to get into your system and start doing what it's supposed to do with nerve synapses and all that good neuropsych stuff.

Has she been eating lately? Because not eating would also make the ADs not work like they are supposed to, since they need to be absorbed but can't be if there isn't sufficient food in the stomach. That happened to me a year and a half ago - that's how I went through about 6 ADs, since none of them worked.

Anyway. I'm sure that I'm missing something and could add more to this, but I'll just stop here with my babbling. I'm glad I was coherent in my last post!!

And you take care of yourself, too. Try not to stress overly much about Rosie. Thing will get better. They always do. It just takes time.

 

[DanPev]

She talked to her psych, and he adjusted her dose a bit, but two days later she just quit again. Ever since she threw aways her meds the first time, it's like she hasn't gotten back on track. I'm guessing that now the doctors will make sure she takes 'em.

I think that she just didn't give them time to work, because she had been eating quite a bit better last few weeks. Last week she didn't eat good though.

Yeah I know that things will get better. I'll try to not stress so much.

Anyways,

 

[kristen1449]

You are an amazing sister. I struggle from an eating disorder and self injury, but am in recovery. She HAS to see it is a spiritual battle. She has to surrender. I used to think that stuff sounded crazy, but it has made ALL the difference. Also yoga helped me a LOT, and brought me closer to God. A good book is Life without ED. Just email her, even from your own house, that's what my sister does, and say I love you. And most of all...dont give up

 

[UnitynLove]

You are doing enough by being there for her and helping her get through this. Keep on going, in prayer, in reading the bible and most of ALL leaning and trusting and God will bring it to pass for you.

 

[DanPev]

Thanks you guys, the encouragement and advice is really appreciated!

God Bless!

 

[PureGrace]

She is so lucky to have you. I wish my brother cared like that. I'm really glad to hear that she was admitted to a hospital where she will be safe. My best friend was actually also admitted to one today, and even though we miss them, they are getting the care that they need.

Just be there for her and let her know how much you care. That will be the best for her right now