My Sister

[FireKame]

My sister just got out of a mental hospital (that term sounds sort of vulgar, though). She used to do drugs, alcohol, she attempted suicide, she was raped (or, she claimed to be...it's hard to tell when she lies),she's bi-polar, she had this whole other life that no one knew about. She got help, and she sees a therapist one a week.

Yesterday, we went out for Chinese food and one of our friends met us there. He asked my sister if she wanted to by drugs from his dealer. She almost went through with it, except I made a point of reminding her I was still there. Later we went somewhere called Rainbow Alley, a gay-straight hangout, and this guy offered her a cigerrete. She said she had stopped, but a few weeks prior I had seen her smoking again. She's the same age as I am, 16.

I don't know if it's just me because I've never done drugs or alcohol in my life (something I'm proud of), but I think she's spiraling back down again into her old habits, and I don't know how to help her. help?

 

[lonelypilgrim]

Once someone has tasted the life of drugs and alcohol, it is quite a battle to get them back to a world that is pure. They must really want it and have the want to be free from the life they had known. If your sister does want to be free, she really needs you. You need to hold her accountable and help give her a change of scenery; abandon the sights of her old life. She needs to give up friends that are still in that life style and never darken the doorways of places that would only lead her into temptation.
Prayer and fellowship with God is also a must. Pray for her and put her on prayer lists and if you can get her to, go to church together.

This is not an easy road; and it isn't going to be. While you're helping her she may say things and do things to hurt your feelings; this is the evil one trying to reclaim her into the old lifestyle. Thicken your skin little one.

I want to say you are so wonderful for wanting to help her and stick by her during this time of need, it is so easy to just push away people or act as if there is nothing you can do in cases like these. I'm also proud of you for choosing a life that is drug and alcohol free. It isn't easy but it is a wonderful choice you have made.

I will be praying for you and your sister. Please keep me up to date on your progress. If there is anything I can do or you just want to vent or talk, just pm me. I'm here for you.

 

[FireKame]

Thanks, lonelypilgrim. I think my sister is making progress; we were out buying costumes for an upcoming production, and her friend called trying to sell her drugs. She told him to stop calling her.

I can't be sure if it's just an act. Again, thank you so much

 

[lonelypilgrim]

Yeah for her! It may not always be clear whether or not she is sincere in her actions, you just have to trust her and tell her that by taking a stand she is doing the right thing. Encourage and love as I am sure you are doing already. Have faith little one and may God bless you both.

 

[FireKame]

Things have gone back down.
She's still hanging out with bad people, and she came home smelling of smoke covered by perfume; I've smelt it before.

But the worst part is that she is making my mommy cry. I think she's depressed, and I don't know what to do but I know I need to do something.

 

[lonelypilgrim]

I am sorry to hear about the backward movement. It is a hard road but it can be done. She must want this change and be held accountable for her every action. This is a big undertaking though! To hold her accountable may find you in the cross hairs of many stinging comments and remarks that she will hurl at you trying to get you to back off and let her fall again.

If depression is thought to exist for anyone, I would strongly recommend getting them to see a dr. If by some chance it is nothing, then you can feel secure; but if there is depression there, she needs help immediately. Depression spirals downs and closes in on you quickly. Voice of experience here. Seek help now before it gets worse.

My dear friend, I am praying for you. I hope all will be alright. Keep us posted and if you need to talk at any time you may feel free to pm me here or catch me on msn messenger. I am here for you anytime.

 

[perfection]

She has to goto church or other 'safe' enviroment, and she needs to continue seeking help, and getting rid of all those people and items that are destroying her life.

She is known in the 'drugs' world as a customer, she needs to get rid of all those ties, and your mom and dad need to be a lot 'stricter' with their daughter, and continuesly trying to find out wether she is not sneaking around their backs doing harmfull things and living wrongfull lifestyles. She needs to focus on her recovery,maintaining her well being, and when she is ready for it ,going to college. She can't go on like this, and it's hurting everyone who she loves, and who love her. She needs to be aware that the devestation it causes is not worthwhile the price she has to pay for it.

 

[Wakeup2god]

Hi Fire

Your sister needs lots of love and support, sounds like you're doing that in abundance. You mentioned her smoking / smelling of smoke. Well although I would never condone smoking, I would say that it is a lesser evil (so to speak) than hard drugs or even alcohol. Many people need something (a comfort) to fall back on and maybe smoking is that for your sister. Please don't condemn her for smoking. Allow her to take one step at a time. For her giving up a 'lifestyle' will be a big sacrifice. Maybe your sacrifice amongst many I'm sure you're making already could be to allow her to smoke, maybe just outside if you object to smoking in your home (I certainly do). We have to accept people as they are then love them out of it rather than accept them only if they first meet our criteria.

I may be way off the mark, if so forgive me.

 

[janny108]

Thanks, lonelypilgrim. I think my sister is making progress; we were out buying costumes for an upcoming production, and her friend called trying to sell her drugs. She told him to stop calling her.

I can't be sure if it's just an act. Again, thank you so much

If you or she has a caller ID on the phone, this will prevent her from even picking up the phone. I remember one story about a guy who got saved. He was into a lot of stuff and all these girlfriends kept calling him up.

Jan

 

[janny108]

It's good she told him not to call her anymore too. That is a willful act on her part. :.)
There is a free course at Setting Captives Free that deals with substance abuse. Maybe she would consider it?
Jan

 

[Pinkwaterlily]

Hello everyone, I know it's a sad place to be in. But the main thing is to show your sister love and support. Talk to her and your parents. Seek help in prayer. Sometimes a person has to fall backwards before they realize they need help. I will be praying for you FireKame and for your sister.

 

[jarshwoo]

I was just delivered from Paranoid schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression, mood swings, personality disorder and severe anxiety attacks. Severe mental illness is a generational curse in my moms side of the family and other members of the family have been in and out of state hopitals their whole life. After a three year battle with it as a Christian I turned it over to Jesus and let him heal my broken heart. He is the only way to overcome mental illness. Medication helps to cope but it doesn't usually solve the problem. Plus a lot of people with mental illness stop taking medication when they start doing good and the balances of the drugs in their system get out of wack. It is a hard thing to do on your own but with the Love and Strength of Christ Jesus he can deliver anyone from anything. We just have to trust him and haave faith. It doesn't happen over night and there will be days when you want to give up but you have to perservere and think about the eternal rewards we will have in heaven.

Romans 12 is a great chapter that focuses on sacrificing your body to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Jesus can retrain your mind to have righteous thoughts. All medication does is block certain thought patterns plus there are side effects to the drugs. Once someone gets off drugs they usually go through withdraws and fall and sink into deeper depression. Verse 9-13 talks about Love and this is what Jesus is all about. I would encourage you to try and get her to attend church where their are people with genuine concerns for others and also to seek out a Christian therapist.

Your sister is probable depressed because she remembers all the good times she had when she was messed up on drugs. I know pot used to make me so happy and it was the only time I felt good about myself. When I would come down I would get so paranoid and would spaz out. This is where your mental illness really grows. People start to crave the drug and the excitement that goes along with it. The drugs give them an emotional high and a release from there daily struggles. It is a time to relax and not worry about anything but the total bliss or state of mind they are in.

The only problem is when people are in these states of mind they tend to fantasize about being someone else or being in this state of mind all the time and then when they come off the effect of the drug they are back to themselves and they get depressed. If people are tripping and have a bad trip these thoughts get imbedded in their minds and recurring thought patterns will remember them of these things and the reality of there daily life which they might not be enjoying will conflict with these thoughts. I myself was often in another state of mind all the time and lived the majority of the past 10 years in my own world.

I know I got off the subject a little but with bi-polar you crave the highs and you fear the lows. Drugs and alcohol might be things that she craves and they result in her having highs when she is on these things. When she is on a low all she can think about is how much she craves that cigarette or how high she could be right now. So when people are in a low state of mind they crave that high and will do anything to get there. It is a very serious disorder and it can ruin someone when they lash out at work, school, or to their friends. It can ruin alot of relationships which will push them further into depression and make it harder to recover. When people have tramatic things happen and they can't let go your thought processes go into a shuffle mode and it is hard to pick out the right thoughts for the current situation they are in. This is when people with bi-Polar lash out or just start crying. Their minds are under so much stress and coping in this world becomes a harder struggle everyday.

I can't tell anyone to come to salvation but Jesus is the only way for total deliverance from the oppresion of this disease. It is a hard thing to overcome but Jesus knows how to fix the problem. The best part is salvation is free and his love is neverending. I hope my insight can help you out and feel free to ask other questions.

May God Bless you and Good Luck.