I am worried a lot about this. I'm not even sure if I'm truly saved or not. I'm not sure if I should pray the prayer of salvation, or simply repent of my sins and ask God to come back into my life again. Here's my story.
I have always believed in God and went to church my whole life, but about several years ago, I started listening to very ungodly music that definitley took me away from God, which was a short phase in my life, but it opened me up to other, even worse sins. I tried repenting later on, but I didn't genuinely feel the presence of God in my life. It felt like I wanted to repent, but I couldnt. It was a very horrible and scary feeling. I felt like I wanted to repent and be saved, but the holy spirit wasnt there to draw me (only the holy spirit leads people to salvation.) I was worried that I crossed the line with God to the point where I couldnt be forgiven. If you dont believe it's possible to sin so much against God you cant be forgiven, please read this article. When God Has Had Enough - The Jack Hyles Home Page The bible says the spirit of God wont strive with man forever, and today is the day of salvation.
After that, for a few years (which leads to about now), I was totally and deliberate ignoring God in my life, not just with sinning (i kept sinning in many different ways), but also with being obsessed with certain movies and books that I put as idols in my life.
I was prayed for twice at church the past few weeks. After the prayer, I felt much better, but I backslid back into sin, and I read somewhere that if you are delivered and sin again, you spiritually get 7 times worse than you were before, or something along those lines. Just a few days ago, I asked God to come back into my life, but I feel like i did a few years ago-nothing is happening. It's probably partially because I have a lot of idols and distractions in my life, but it's more than that. I feel like God isn't there for me. I read somewhere that in some cases, simply asking God to come back into your life cannot cause deliverance-somebody needs to deliver you.
I feel as if God doesn't truly care about me.
If he did, why wouldnt he deliver me and bring his presence into my life? Why would my salvation or relationship with God depend on somebody delivering me, if, according to my wishes and free will, I already want to have a relationship with God and I want to repent? It's almost as if God is punishing me for my sins, in a way that I feel is very unfair and harsh.
But then again, I have doubts that I committed the unforgivable sin
But my biggest worry is this. I cant decide if I am saved and simply need to repent of my sins, or I was never saved in the first place and need to pray the prayer of salvation?
I have always believed in God and went to church my whole life, but about several years ago, I started listening to very ungodly music that definitley took me away from God, which was a short phase in my life, but it opened me up to other, even worse sins. I tried repenting later on, but I didn't genuinely feel the presence of God in my life. It felt like I wanted to repent, but I couldnt. It was a very horrible and scary feeling. I felt like I wanted to repent and be saved, but the holy spirit wasnt there to draw me (only the holy spirit leads people to salvation.) I was worried that I crossed the line with God to the point where I couldnt be forgiven. If you dont believe it's possible to sin so much against God you cant be forgiven, please read this article. When God Has Had Enough - The Jack Hyles Home Page The bible says the spirit of God wont strive with man forever, and today is the day of salvation.
After that, for a few years (which leads to about now), I was totally and deliberate ignoring God in my life, not just with sinning (i kept sinning in many different ways), but also with being obsessed with certain movies and books that I put as idols in my life.
I was prayed for twice at church the past few weeks. After the prayer, I felt much better, but I backslid back into sin, and I read somewhere that if you are delivered and sin again, you spiritually get 7 times worse than you were before, or something along those lines. Just a few days ago, I asked God to come back into my life, but I feel like i did a few years ago-nothing is happening. It's probably partially because I have a lot of idols and distractions in my life, but it's more than that. I feel like God isn't there for me. I read somewhere that in some cases, simply asking God to come back into your life cannot cause deliverance-somebody needs to deliver you.
I feel as if God doesn't truly care about me.
If he did, why wouldnt he deliver me and bring his presence into my life? Why would my salvation or relationship with God depend on somebody delivering me, if, according to my wishes and free will, I already want to have a relationship with God and I want to repent? It's almost as if God is punishing me for my sins, in a way that I feel is very unfair and harsh.
But then again, I have doubts that I committed the unforgivable sin
But my biggest worry is this. I cant decide if I am saved and simply need to repent of my sins, or I was never saved in the first place and need to pray the prayer of salvation?
