I have been having great difficulty coming to terms with my past I feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back all the time. I have decided after a long time to get some Christian councelling because 30 years ago my pastor raped me I was very niave at the time and I didn't realise at the time what he had done but a few years later I did and it has greatly disturbed me emotionally mentally and spiritually because I could not come to terms with how God could let this happen to me has any one else ever felt like this. I had given my Heart to God at 12 years old after being sexually abused when I was yonger by different people and believed God would look after me but this pastor ruined my salvation:-(
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My Pastor raped me
- Thread starter FIC/forever
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- Aug 3, 2004
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That's a long time to have lived with something like that. Counselling can be very helpful.
Jesus has not given up on you. You are safe and secure in your relationship with Him.
John
NZ
Jesus has not given up on you. You are safe and secure in your relationship with Him.
John
NZ
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mandyangel
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just curious about how this happened.. did anybody know about it?
no matter what lots of love and prayers your way
no matter what lots of love and prayers your way
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No one knew I was his baby sitter and lived with him and his wife and children. I was at college and had no classes that day, his wife had left to take the children to school I was still in bed sleeping the first I knew was when he woke me as he climbed into my bed and he raped me his wife coming through the front door disturbed him as he [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] while as he withdrew from me I didn't know what this at the time but I remember him coming back into my room and cleaning the carpet and he kept asking me had I taken my period for some time after it. It was awful I couldn't tell anyone :-(
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That is just awful FIC/forever. My heart goes out to you. I too had a horrible experience with a Christian Minister. Don't want to go into details but I don't think I will ever get over it. I can totally understand you saying your Pastor ruined your salvation. It happened that way with me too and for me God was dead after it. I did find God again sometime later but am still affected by what he did. I too could not understand how God could let it happen to me.
I am pleased you are getting some counselling. I pray it works for you - it may be a long haul but we are here for you. PM me if you want to. Hugs to you.
I am pleased you are getting some counselling. I pray it works for you - it may be a long haul but we are here for you. PM me if you want to. Hugs to you.
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goldenviolet
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*hugs* sweetheart, Jesus holds your salvation in his hands... his hands. not yours. beyond your reach. its not your fault, yet i'm posting scripture to prove to you that salvation is eternal, to assure you that nothing you do can destroy salvation. xo dee
Romans 8
Life in the Spirit: 1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power* of the life-giving Spirit has freed you* from the power of sin that leads to death.
Praise to God for a Living Hope 1 Peter 1:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Romans 8
Life in the Spirit: 1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power* of the life-giving Spirit has freed you* from the power of sin that leads to death.
Praise to God for a Living Hope 1 Peter 1:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
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All Englands Skies
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Thank you everyone for your encouragement and helpful verses I'm hoping that the councelling will help unfortunately no appointments available at present so please pray for me while I am waiting xx
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goldenviolet
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i'm proud of you for looking into counseling resources 
... some people stuggle to find resources because its a painful road. sometimes counseling is like a bandaid. its part of the process to healing your wound. i feel so awful for those who can't afford counsel. those who's only resources is the online supports. when a survivor stands up like you are, it gives others courage, hope, fellowship. i pray that you'll get an appointment in a timely way. and to anyone else out there: find your resources. what will help you through... even if its a baby step... its worth your attention. xo dee
... some people stuggle to find resources because its a painful road. sometimes counseling is like a bandaid. its part of the process to healing your wound. i feel so awful for those who can't afford counsel. those who's only resources is the online supports. when a survivor stands up like you are, it gives others courage, hope, fellowship. i pray that you'll get an appointment in a timely way. and to anyone else out there: find your resources. what will help you through... even if its a baby step... its worth your attention. xo dee
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Thank you Goldenviolet this is a big step for me and to be honest I'm not looking forward to this counselling but deep down I know I really need to do this to move forward so I would appreciate your prayers along with others thank you for your support Fic/forever x
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goldenviolet
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Praying for you too. Counselling is hard to find. So good luck with it and we will continue to support you down this difficult road.
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PilgrimToChrist
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Wow, that can be even worse than a "regular" assault because then you end up with this distrust of pastors and Christianity in general.
We have heard a lot in the news over the past decade about Catholic priests and teenage altar boys but it's certainly not a phenomenon confined to Catholics or homosexuals. It must have been difficult to deal with this for so long.
I wanted to point out how you said that you had been abused even prior to this pastor getting a hold of you. I don't know the number on this but it seems that abusers -- physical, emotional or sexual, etc. -- have almost a sixth sense for smelling out victims, people who will be more likely to give in and keep quiet. People who grew up in an abusive home seem to keep getting in abusive relationships over and over again. Sometimes it's infernal influence, sometimes perhaps it's just observations about how people carry themselves and react to things. I don't know, but the tragedies seem to compound for certain people.
I pray that what happened to you when you were young might not harm your relationship with Jesus Christ, the true pastor of our souls and that through this counseling you may come to a sense of peace about your past. We all have a past, what's important is our future.
We have heard a lot in the news over the past decade about Catholic priests and teenage altar boys but it's certainly not a phenomenon confined to Catholics or homosexuals. It must have been difficult to deal with this for so long.
I wanted to point out how you said that you had been abused even prior to this pastor getting a hold of you. I don't know the number on this but it seems that abusers -- physical, emotional or sexual, etc. -- have almost a sixth sense for smelling out victims, people who will be more likely to give in and keep quiet. People who grew up in an abusive home seem to keep getting in abusive relationships over and over again. Sometimes it's infernal influence, sometimes perhaps it's just observations about how people carry themselves and react to things. I don't know, but the tragedies seem to compound for certain people.
I pray that what happened to you when you were young might not harm your relationship with Jesus Christ, the true pastor of our souls and that through this counseling you may come to a sense of peace about your past. We all have a past, what's important is our future.
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Deleteriousnonsense
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Right. I'm no more inclined to believe you than I am the OP. If someone tried to rape me I would raise hell about it. At the time it happened. Not years later. Sorry, but I just don't believe any of it. Proof. Answer when, who, how, and what. Then we can think about why.
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Hello sister in Christ,
I was not raped by a pastor, but I do know the emotional shame of being sexually abused. For many years I hid it from myself, God and my family.
When I became a Christian I told my family, but I still had not resolved it and for next five years was very hateful towards homosexuals and paedophiles. When I returned to the place where it was done to me, I wen to speak with the man who did it to me. He was too scared to see me, so I wrote him a letter to tell him that I forgave him, loved him and hoped that He could find the forgiveness of Jesus. That greatly helped me.
I later spoke to a muslim man, who was raped by a Catholic Bishop.
He was so angry and could not seem to forgive the man.
Although this man was a religious leader, we should not judge a person
with partiality, because God does not. Jesus can forgive every sin (though blaspheming God's Spirit will not be forgiven, if people believe God's judgment is evil or unjust). So as soon as we judge that a person should never be forgiven, we are saying that we are God and can judge that person to be condemned. But this judgment can lead a person to be condemned themself.
I pray that your heart may be not hardened to forgiving and letting go of unforgiveness. A letter to the person (if possible) letting him know you forgive him, I believe will be a great breakthrough.
Even if you don't feel like doing it. The fact that you speak out life in a letter can help you to feel forgiven of God for any of your offences.
With love and hope in Jesus Christ
The Writer
I was not raped by a pastor, but I do know the emotional shame of being sexually abused. For many years I hid it from myself, God and my family.
When I became a Christian I told my family, but I still had not resolved it and for next five years was very hateful towards homosexuals and paedophiles. When I returned to the place where it was done to me, I wen to speak with the man who did it to me. He was too scared to see me, so I wrote him a letter to tell him that I forgave him, loved him and hoped that He could find the forgiveness of Jesus. That greatly helped me.
I later spoke to a muslim man, who was raped by a Catholic Bishop.
He was so angry and could not seem to forgive the man.
Although this man was a religious leader, we should not judge a person
with partiality, because God does not. Jesus can forgive every sin (though blaspheming God's Spirit will not be forgiven, if people believe God's judgment is evil or unjust). So as soon as we judge that a person should never be forgiven, we are saying that we are God and can judge that person to be condemned. But this judgment can lead a person to be condemned themself.
I pray that your heart may be not hardened to forgiving and letting go of unforgiveness. A letter to the person (if possible) letting him know you forgive him, I believe will be a great breakthrough.
Even if you don't feel like doing it. The fact that you speak out life in a letter can help you to feel forgiven of God for any of your offences.
With love and hope in Jesus Christ
The Writer
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Deleteriousnonsense I really don't feel I need to prove it happened because the Lord knows it did. I couldn't say at the time because I was protecting his wife and children and that's all I'm going to say about it. I told it on here for support from people who care and there are people on here who care xx
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PeaceRose
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FIC/forever I believe you and understand. Dont worry about the stupid idiots who just want to cause upset. I feel for you.
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