my mom

eastside9008 · Jun 21, 2006

my mom has had a drinking problem for as long as i can remember. there have been 'instances' between my mother and i due to her being drunk. i wont go into detail in this thread but feel free to look at my 'trouble at home' thread. it explains a lot more in depth than this thread will. she has come close to getting help but has yet to actually get it. i dont know what to do. i cant go through another instance again. the memories just hurt so much. how do i help her? what do i do? any advice is greatly appreciated. if anyone has any questions feel free to ask. ill do anything to help her.

~Alex

Protinus · Jun 21, 2006

Alex: is there any way that you can get yourself to Al-Anon for Teens? You will develop a fellowship and strategies to cope first and then you can help your mother with a plan. Is your minister available to speak to you privately?

eastside9008 · Jun 21, 2006

i havent talked to anyone besides my two best friends and my boyfriend. ive tried to go to an al-anon meeting but my parents wont let me. they dont see it necessary. my best friend's mom is a recovering alcoholic and i went, behind my parents' backs, to an aa meeting with her. she and my best friend thought it was a good idea to bring me. i agree, i learned a lot there. but if my parents ever found out about that, they'd be really upset. ive asked them about going to an al-anon meeting and they were completely against it.

Protinus · Jun 21, 2006

you must always listen to your parents....but you can still reassure them that this might be the best thing for you and they might listen. What about your Minister? Are you close her/him?

justanobserver · Jun 21, 2006

eastside9008 said:
my mom has had a drinking problem for as long as i can remember. there have been 'instances' between my mother and i due to her being drunk. i wont go into detail in this thread but feel free to look at my 'trouble at home' thread. it explains a lot more in depth than this thread will. she has come close to getting help but has yet to actually get it. i dont know what to do. i cant go through another instance again. the memories just hurt so much. how do i help her? what do i do? any advice is greatly appreciated. if anyone has any questions feel free to ask. ill do anything to help her.

~Alex

Hi Alex. I agree with Protinus in seeking help, talking to your minister, going to Al Anon meetings if you can. I am sorry for what your going thru. Al Anon does have a web site

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

perhaps you might find some support/answers there as well as well as christian folks here at CF you can PM about for advise/support.

I wish you only the best in dealing with this.

Mskedi · Jun 21, 2006

Do you go to a public school? They (by law) have resources at your disposal. Talk to your school nurse, counselor, psychologist, or any teacher.

The al-anon meetings have helped a lot of people, so even if your parents are saying no now, I'd probably keep bringing it up. Not too often, but enough that maybe it'll sink in that you need someone to talk to.

Teshi · Jun 21, 2006

Oh, man, hun, have I been there. *hugs* The wounds will heal, I promise, but it's going to take time. For me, that meant moving real far away from my folks as soon as I was 18. This is gonna sound horrible, but it was a lot easier to forgive them when I didn't have to interact with them for months at a time...some literal and figurative distance on the situation.

The important thing to remember is that you have your whole life ahead of you, and it's YOUR life. Anything you've gone through, anything you're going through, that can just make you a stronger person, a more adaptable person, if you make good choices in how to deal with it. When you get out on your own, you will be ready to conquer the world, you'll be so wise beyond your years.

You can make it. You will make it. Good people will help you, God will help you, and your own strength will help you.

rnmomof7 · Jun 22, 2006

Kids raised in an alcoholic home have a "different normal" than other kids, one of the things that happens with going to ala-teen is you get to sort out what is normal and what is co dependent behavior. In other words it gives you an opportunity to break the cycle.

This is not about you changing them, it is about you being all that God intended for you to be.
You are called to be obedient to your parents and there in is your immediate problem.
If they are in denial of their problem they might feel you are condemning them.

I agree with the posters that suggested that you use your minister or the school social worker if you can do so.

In the meantime pray that God will soften their hearts and they will desire you to go, and use the on line services available to you to help you learn and grow into a healthy young woman.

Taylor43 · Jun 24, 2006

big hugs hun i grew up in a bad home as a child. I am praying for you and if you need to talk i am here and so are the other people on these forums. God loves you i hope you can talk to a trusted adult.
Love
Taylor

eastside9008 · Jun 24, 2006

i really need some help guys...i just got home from work and i found a margarita bottle, empty in the trash. one of her friends is over and my mom always drinks with her. what do i do??

Protinus · Jun 24, 2006

What are you most worried about...right now?

eastside9008 · Jun 25, 2006

sorry i just got the chance to get on the computer. i was and am most worried that shes going to start drinking regularly again. alcohol hasnt been in my house at all since the last...'incident' several months ago. im not sure what to think. i just dont want this to start again.

SH89 · Jul 3, 2006

rescinded post

my mom

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...once more unto the breach dear friends

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...once more unto the breach dear friends

Still Wondering...

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Teshi

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Legend

Jesus loves everyone!

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...once more unto the breach dear friends

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Sola scriptura

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