my mom doesnt approve of my bf

[Isabella84]

I have an issue with my mom
this is a vent more than anything else
Basically,she acts like she likes my bf to his face,but when he isnt around she makes these snide little remarks about him or our relationship

first of all,Im just going to come out and say that my mom is very superficial.When I date a guy,it is always about how he looks what kind of job he has (or will have),how much money he makes...ect

Like when she first met my bf,the first thing she said was 'Oh,he looked better in the picture you showed me than he does in real life'.I go to a small college,and he goes to a bigger one.She said one day "why is he dating you?are all the girls at his school fat and ugly?"
when she found out we were official,the first thing she said was 'So,I guess theres no one else you want to consider/date ,huh?...well,i hope you guys are happy together,I guess thats all that matters'
It makes me so mad!!!
Why cant she just accept my bf and let us be happy together??
I seriously cant wait to graduate and move out!

Sorry,this is just a rant

 

[ducky6705]

i love my mom bt she can be rele psycho somtimes dont worry lol your not alone and i think that if you and this guy stick together long enough than maybe shell get the picture lol. i absolutly hate it when ppl r two-faced about stuff, and when they jump to conclutions. bt i think that when she figures out how good this guy is then shell get over all the worldly things she thinks r rele important...

 

[pepperfish]

Rant away.

*hugs* Personally, I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. I do know that I wouldn't tolerate hearing those types of comments - luckily both of my parents really like my boyfriend...because if either of them ever tried to say nasty things about him to me, or if they treated him badly, I would not be able to forgive them.

Try not to let it bother you too much; after all, the only thing that matters is how you feel about him...not how your parents feel about him, or your friends, or whoever! It always amazes me when I hear stories about how someone allowed their parents to end their relationship (regardless of their age, I've heard of people in their 20s breaking up with someone because their parents didn't like him). And in your case, it's not even like your mom has any real reasons for disliking him, right? From what you said in your post, it sounds like she just makes snarky comments about him. If you think he's a good guy, and you want to be with him, don't allow her to influence your mind.

 

[pegatha]

Is your mom shallow in other ways? Does she try to undermine your choices in general? I can understand taking an interest in what your BFs do for a living,. but criticizing them because she doesn't find them handsome seems very petty. I just wondered if this is part of a bigger pattern with your mom, or if maybe she's even jealous of your BFs for taking her "little girl" away.

 

[HolyOne87]

i agree with pegatha. Judging someone based on looks alone is small and not right.
Hes probably a wonderful guy, your mom should really get to know him, rather then just judging him.
Was she always that way when you dated other people?(like past dating experiences you had/past relationships)

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Is your mom shallow in other ways? Does she try to undermine your choices in general? I can understand taking an interest in what your BFs do for a living,. but criticizing them because she doesn't find them handsome seems very petty. I just wondered if this is part of a bigger pattern with your mom, or if maybe she's even jealous of your BFs for taking her "little girl" away.

This seems like a possibility. Your mother should consider your feelings. Have you talked to her about how you feel her views affect you?

 

[bliz]

I think it sounds like your mom is uncomfortable with the idea of you having someone in your life and growing up and moving on in your life. She attacks him, but she also attacks you... I think she is afraid of being left behind... even as her actions make that more likely to occour.