- Oct 1, 2006
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I posted this in another forum because of the song lyrics someone had posted there. The song is called "I'll Stand by You". You've all given me such great support concerning my husband's passing, so I thought I would share this with you also. I'm posting this here because I really need what all of you are so good at giving, and that is support, encouragement, comfort, God's word, and most of all, prayer. Thanks, guys.
This song has a big impact on me. Even though this song is beautiful, and has a great message to it, I am sad everytime I hear it. You see, my 23 year old son left his group home 3 years ago and has not been heard or seen from since. He left no forwarding address, so we not only don't know where he is, we don't know if he is still alive. The RCMP have him on their missing persons list, but there are so many missing persons. It looks doubtful that they will find him.
Whenever I hear this song I think of my son, and it makes me very sad. My son has Tourett's Syndrome, and within the realm of Tourett's, he also has ADHD, OCD and the Tourett's rage. To add to the list, he has developed Scitzo Affective Disorder from taking illegal hallucinagenic drugs.
Even though I stood by him and supported him for all the years he was growing up, I can't help but feel that wasn't enough. Both my husband (at that time) and I went far beyond the rules of parenting with all 3 of our sons. They all had special needs. I don't blame anyone for my son's disappearance. I don't even blame my son. With all the mental problems he has he probably doesn't realize he is doing himself harm. Yet, I still feel the guilt of not being there for him.
Five years ago I moved to Australia to marry my late husband. Each time I hear this song, I get a gut wrenching feeling, and wonder if I had stayed in Canada, my son would be home with us now. It's a mother's guilt. I know I shouldn't feel this way, and it isn't my fault he is missing, but at the same time, the guilt is there and I feel very sad about it.
Your sister in Christ,
Anne
This song has a big impact on me. Even though this song is beautiful, and has a great message to it, I am sad everytime I hear it. You see, my 23 year old son left his group home 3 years ago and has not been heard or seen from since. He left no forwarding address, so we not only don't know where he is, we don't know if he is still alive. The RCMP have him on their missing persons list, but there are so many missing persons. It looks doubtful that they will find him.
Whenever I hear this song I think of my son, and it makes me very sad. My son has Tourett's Syndrome, and within the realm of Tourett's, he also has ADHD, OCD and the Tourett's rage. To add to the list, he has developed Scitzo Affective Disorder from taking illegal hallucinagenic drugs.
Even though I stood by him and supported him for all the years he was growing up, I can't help but feel that wasn't enough. Both my husband (at that time) and I went far beyond the rules of parenting with all 3 of our sons. They all had special needs. I don't blame anyone for my son's disappearance. I don't even blame my son. With all the mental problems he has he probably doesn't realize he is doing himself harm. Yet, I still feel the guilt of not being there for him.
Five years ago I moved to Australia to marry my late husband. Each time I hear this song, I get a gut wrenching feeling, and wonder if I had stayed in Canada, my son would be home with us now. It's a mother's guilt. I know I shouldn't feel this way, and it isn't my fault he is missing, but at the same time, the guilt is there and I feel very sad about it.
Your sister in Christ,
Anne