Hello everyone. I am relatively new to this site and I very recently re-dedicated my life to Christ after years of being backslidden. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 13 and fell away from Christianity when I was 19. I am 24, live on my own, and have been married once. I will have been divorced four years on the first of December.
Anyway, my real purpose of posting here is I need some advice. When I was 13 I had a brief childhood "relationship" with a kid who lived up the street from me, whom I've known since I was 7. He was 15 at the time.
When we broke up after six months of "dating" I met a guy at church who later became my ex-husband. When I was 16, this guy Jon moved to Florida to live with his aunt and uncle after having some trouble at home. I missed him terribly, but he came to see me every time he came into town to visit his Mom. Then when he graduated high school he decided to enlist in the NAVY. He married his high school sweetheart before going into BT. He lived in Chicago while in Basics, but still came looking for me every time he was on leave. I met his wife once. She was kinda mean to me. Anyway, a year later after my divorce he came back and was still married. He had been transferred to the base in Norfolk. Not long after that he got divorced and came back to get back together with me, but he discovered I was involved in a serious relationship. Three months later I heard he had remarried. A year after that I found out they had a baby. I was devestated. My relationship had ended after a year and a half and I figured Jon had moved on without me. I was wrong.
Fourth of July weekend I was at my parents' house when he came walking down the street. He looked amazing and I was so happy to see him. He and his wife had split up due to her relentless infidelity while he was deployed. He had gotten out of the NAVY and was living around here with his sister and brother-in-law. We started hanging out casually which progressed to dating. Two months later we were at my apartment after a date and I was standing in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around my waist and said, "I would very much love it if you would let me be a part of your life again." I started to cry and accepted his offer to be serious. The next day he was helping my father build a screened in porch at my parents' house and he kept asking me "do your parents know we're back together yet? Oh, let me tell them!". He also sang Hoobastank's "The Reason" to me that day. A week after that he told me he loved me, that he had always loved me. He told me he wanted me to be the last woman he was ever with and he would be the last man I was ever with. We looked at houses for sale, talked about buying a car together. We talked about marriage and family. We discussed family holidays. My parents loved this guy and his family adored me.
Then something strange happened. Jon disappeared. It was Labor Day weekend. We played poker with my family that Friday until the very wee hours of Saturday morning (it was 5am by the time we wrapped it all up) so he crashed at my place. The next morning we went to breakfast and he departed quickly saying he had to go home and prepare for his grandmother's birthday party (which was Sunday night). I was hurt because he had promised to take me to the carnival Saturday, but I didn't protest since it was a family matter. I was also hurt that I was not invited to the birthday festivities since he had been invited to all of my family gatherings and, up until that incident, I had been invited to all of his (including his mother's company picnic!). He promised to call me later that day. He never did. Sunday, no call. Monday, Tuesday...no call. Tried calling his house and his sister said he was asleep (at 6pm?!) Wednesday he called me at work and said he had been doing alot of thinking over the weekend. He confessed to me that he was not legally divorced from the second wife and that divorce proceedings had begun and it was going to be ugly. He said it wouldn't be fair to drag me through that with him so for now it would be best to just be friends. I was so hurt! We went from talking about marriage to just being friends. A week later he showed up at my office begging for a second chance. I accepted. He promised to spend the next day with me. He never showed up. Never called.
That following Wednesday he called me and we had a fight. He claims he had to "save his sister's marriage" over the weekend. I didn't think that was a good enough excuse. He ended up hanging up on me and aside from a brief encounter as I was standing outside my parents' house and he drove by and yelled "Peace my sista!" I haven't seen or heard from him since. It's been over a month and I still want him back. Despite the way he hurt me I wonder if circumstances had been different if we would have made it. What can I do? I believe he truly does/did love me and meant what he said, but he was scared of hurting me. I want to be with him more than anything. Should I just let him slip through my fingers like I did ten years ago, or should I attempt to make contact and talk with him about my feelings? Either way it's a huge risk.
Anyway, I apologize for the length of this thread.
Anyway, my real purpose of posting here is I need some advice. When I was 13 I had a brief childhood "relationship" with a kid who lived up the street from me, whom I've known since I was 7. He was 15 at the time.
When we broke up after six months of "dating" I met a guy at church who later became my ex-husband. When I was 16, this guy Jon moved to Florida to live with his aunt and uncle after having some trouble at home. I missed him terribly, but he came to see me every time he came into town to visit his Mom. Then when he graduated high school he decided to enlist in the NAVY. He married his high school sweetheart before going into BT. He lived in Chicago while in Basics, but still came looking for me every time he was on leave. I met his wife once. She was kinda mean to me. Anyway, a year later after my divorce he came back and was still married. He had been transferred to the base in Norfolk. Not long after that he got divorced and came back to get back together with me, but he discovered I was involved in a serious relationship. Three months later I heard he had remarried. A year after that I found out they had a baby. I was devestated. My relationship had ended after a year and a half and I figured Jon had moved on without me. I was wrong.
Fourth of July weekend I was at my parents' house when he came walking down the street. He looked amazing and I was so happy to see him. He and his wife had split up due to her relentless infidelity while he was deployed. He had gotten out of the NAVY and was living around here with his sister and brother-in-law. We started hanging out casually which progressed to dating. Two months later we were at my apartment after a date and I was standing in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around my waist and said, "I would very much love it if you would let me be a part of your life again." I started to cry and accepted his offer to be serious. The next day he was helping my father build a screened in porch at my parents' house and he kept asking me "do your parents know we're back together yet? Oh, let me tell them!". He also sang Hoobastank's "The Reason" to me that day. A week after that he told me he loved me, that he had always loved me. He told me he wanted me to be the last woman he was ever with and he would be the last man I was ever with. We looked at houses for sale, talked about buying a car together. We talked about marriage and family. We discussed family holidays. My parents loved this guy and his family adored me.
Then something strange happened. Jon disappeared. It was Labor Day weekend. We played poker with my family that Friday until the very wee hours of Saturday morning (it was 5am by the time we wrapped it all up) so he crashed at my place. The next morning we went to breakfast and he departed quickly saying he had to go home and prepare for his grandmother's birthday party (which was Sunday night). I was hurt because he had promised to take me to the carnival Saturday, but I didn't protest since it was a family matter. I was also hurt that I was not invited to the birthday festivities since he had been invited to all of my family gatherings and, up until that incident, I had been invited to all of his (including his mother's company picnic!). He promised to call me later that day. He never did. Sunday, no call. Monday, Tuesday...no call. Tried calling his house and his sister said he was asleep (at 6pm?!) Wednesday he called me at work and said he had been doing alot of thinking over the weekend. He confessed to me that he was not legally divorced from the second wife and that divorce proceedings had begun and it was going to be ugly. He said it wouldn't be fair to drag me through that with him so for now it would be best to just be friends. I was so hurt! We went from talking about marriage to just being friends. A week later he showed up at my office begging for a second chance. I accepted. He promised to spend the next day with me. He never showed up. Never called.
That following Wednesday he called me and we had a fight. He claims he had to "save his sister's marriage" over the weekend. I didn't think that was a good enough excuse. He ended up hanging up on me and aside from a brief encounter as I was standing outside my parents' house and he drove by and yelled "Peace my sista!" I haven't seen or heard from him since. It's been over a month and I still want him back. Despite the way he hurt me I wonder if circumstances had been different if we would have made it. What can I do? I believe he truly does/did love me and meant what he said, but he was scared of hurting me. I want to be with him more than anything. Should I just let him slip through my fingers like I did ten years ago, or should I attempt to make contact and talk with him about my feelings? Either way it's a huge risk.
Anyway, I apologize for the length of this thread.
for him. If he's the one God had prepared for you, He'll show up one day.
