My husband has forced me to have sex three times against my will. He has choked me, belittled me and hit my head a few times against the back of the bed or wall. Afterwards he wants me to comfort him. He wants to make love all the time, more than once a day. Things don't seem to be changing for the better. Please advise
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
MY HUSBAND IS ABUSING ME
- Thread starter L.S. in Alabama
- Start date
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 
Your phone book should have a hotline number for women who are abused. Call that - they can show you how to get a restraining order, and can provide a place for you to stay. I would also call the police and press charges. Then you should pack what you need and get out!
You should ONLY return to him after he has shown conclusive proof that he has gotten help from his problems and will never do this to you again. This is going to take time - months or years even.
I'm praying.
Upvote
0
Jenna
Senior Veteran
- Jun 13, 2002
- 3,089
- 192
- Faith
- Messianic
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Constitution
You could call the police and file charges against your husband. They would come and take him from the home immediately, for your safety. I'm sure that they would also refer you to agencies that would help, but the phone book is a very good idea, along with the internet too. There are crisis centers out there that can help you to know what your options are, and what steps to take.
You're in my prayers. *hugs*
You're in my prayers. *hugs*
Upvote
0
Hi sister,
First of all: draw upon God's grace and power to help you.
This is most un-usual situation. You wrote Four sentences so please forgive me if I must ask these painful questions to help determined whats reasonable.
What are you two's level of Faith?
How long has this been going on?
Is it a kinky thing or a real violent act?
Are there dependable family/friends/pastor that can interceede?
If any of these are too personal... my appologies and dont answer.
God bless.
First of all: draw upon God's grace and power to help you.
This is most un-usual situation. You wrote Four sentences so please forgive me if I must ask these painful questions to help determined whats reasonable.
What are you two's level of Faith?
How long has this been going on?
Is it a kinky thing or a real violent act?
Are there dependable family/friends/pastor that can interceede?
If any of these are too personal... my appologies and dont answer.
God bless.
Upvote
0
Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
LEAVE HIM NOW! Call the police and get him charged, take a court order out against him so that he can't come near you, file for divorce.
Upvote
0
Tangnefedd said:
I agree but not so fast on the divorcing. I also think your husband needs some kind of help. Your body does not belong to you, it belongs to God. You are responsible for taking care of it. Letting your husband abuse your body is not taking care of it. I hope you don't let fear and confusion prevent you from leaving him. Leaving him does not have to be the end all of your situation. During your time of separation from him, he can seek help. If he doesn't, then he is not worth hanging on to. No one deserves to be abused in any form. Him abusing you is not what it means to be submissive to a husband. God does not want to see you being abused and neither do we. Forgiveness is easy. It is change that is not.
Upvote
0
Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
The man needs professional help. An abuser generally carries on abusing, she is best to get rid of him, and quickly, before he kills her. No woman should stay in an abusive relationship, it is demeaning to her spirit. My husband would only have to strike me in anger once, and we would be down at the divorce court before he could lift his fist again!
Upvote
0
Wow. I am never for telling a stranger what to do. Why? I don't really know them. Nor the whole story. Besides, if they do take your direction... don't you owe them some sort of laibility if something happens down the road?
Maybe it is just me but your comment crossed from "advice" to "expert counsel mode", Tangnefedd. Sorry if I took it wrong.
jewels_cs said:
However, I agree with Jewels_cs.
I would like to add: No ONE deserves to be in an abusive relationship. But ANYTHING can be worked out if both are willing to compromised. And EVEYTHING is possible with the Lord... even if no one wants it worked out.
God bless.
Upvote
0
- Oct 23, 2003
- 16,711
- 1,132
- 54
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- CA-Conservatives
Upvote
0
Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
This woman asked for advice and if the abuse is as she described, she is in danger. She is best out of that relationship before she is killed, imo!
Upvote
0
you really should leave him if he can rape you he can kill you, obviously he has no respect for you at all. if he did he would not be raping you. my 2cents
praying for you...........
praying for you...........
Upvote
0
- Mar 5, 2004
- 17,332
- 6,439
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Democrat
No one should have to deal with this type of abuse.
Seek help and protection and get out of this relationship.
You are in my prayers.
Seek help and protection and get out of this relationship.
You are in my prayers.
Upvote
0
~PICKLE~
Ready For Anything
- Jan 17, 2004
- 9,990
- 197
- 49
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
I will say what I mean, even though I do not know this person personally. I agree with Tang, you need to take action and leave. I was in a severely abusive relationship, and I had to get out before he went to far and killed me. ANd believe me he may mean to, but sometimes things can go to far......... You need help, he needs major help. My best advice is to leave and seek help. I don't know the whole situation, but no body woman men cat dog, green blue, whatever should have to go through the abuse you have stated. Just my 2 cents
Upvote
0
LadyBird
Dance Me to the End of Love
I am not going to tell you what to do, I will tell you what I would do if I was in your situation.
I would leave A.S.A.P.!!!!!!!!
I wouldn't tell him where I was going...I would leave when he is at work. I wouldn't come back either unless he got help and he changed...make a list of the things you want and need from him. I wouldn't jump right back into the marriage/relationship either, it would have to be a very slow process. I don't even know if I would ever go back unless he truly changed, and only time can tell if a person has changed.
I would leave A.S.A.P.!!!!!!!!
I wouldn't tell him where I was going...I would leave when he is at work. I wouldn't come back either unless he got help and he changed...make a list of the things you want and need from him. I wouldn't jump right back into the marriage/relationship either, it would have to be a very slow process. I don't even know if I would ever go back unless he truly changed, and only time can tell if a person has changed.
I agree with Tang on this one, if my husband EVER hit me...I truly don't think that I would ever go back to him.
Upvote
0
Yep.. you got good advice from this thread. There is only one solution.. if you haven't done so already then do so now. Leave. Get help from a refuge or some place where you will recieve the support and help you need.
Upvote
0
SirKenin
Contributor
- Jun 26, 2003
- 6,518
- 526
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
Here we go again with the "leave/divorce him" advice There really are other options in life.
I would recommend seeking shelter and when the time is right, opening a dialogue with your husband and get him into counselling.
Charging him, divorcing him, and all this other lashing out that only results from bitterness and anger is not only unwise and unbiblical, it doesn't solve a darn thing. It only places you in a worse position than you were in before. (yes, I can speak from experience that divorce is not the answer some people pimp it to be. Neither is charging people. If you need me to go into detail on that, I'd be happy to.)
There really are other options in life.I would recommend seeking shelter and when the time is right, opening a dialogue with your husband and get him into counselling.
Charging him, divorcing him, and all this other lashing out that only results from bitterness and anger is not only unwise and unbiblical, it doesn't solve a darn thing. It only places you in a worse position than you were in before. (yes, I can speak from experience that divorce is not the answer some people pimp it to be. Neither is charging people. If you need me to go into detail on that, I'd be happy to.)
Upvote
0
Similar threads
