my friend

[Doreen]

my friend and I have been friends since I was 16 (am 34 now) and she and I have had some problems this year and last year. I have tried to talk about them but she glosses over them and doesn't really deal with them. I don't know what to do and think that now it's finished and we're not friends. her last email sounds as though that's it and it's over.
she has been like a mother to me (she is 16 yrs older) and I miss her. she wouldn't even talk lately - we just had to email instead. tried to phone her last week but the phone call was very stilted cause she kept it on stuff like how was your day and wouldn't go any deeper.

 

[Anti Existance]

Its not unusual , if you only put darkness,hatred and arguments in the relationship that you have. I had a friend of 10 years that i lost , basically because we valued our own opinion more then our friendship. Ask yourself is the argument worth the loss of a friend? If its yes, then ditch your friend, if its no, then forgive and forget, and save the relationship by only putting light and love into the relationship on a continues basis.

 

[Daughter of His]

Perfect timing---send her a Christmas card and include a note as to how much you have valued her friendship over the years.

 

[Chenoa]

I suppose these are some personal issues and that is why you didnt post exactly what the problem was. Are you both Christians? Have you done or said something to offend her? It sounds to me like she is being a bit defensive. Maybe avoiding the subject because she doesnt want to rehash it again, probably because she feels its an issue that will not be resolved.

(Not to say that this is all your fault, do not misunderstand, you could have been completely in the right here, I dont know the issues.)

Is this some sort of thing where there is a major issue you just cannot agree on? If it is, try to find some was to agree to disagree and just leave it at that. If this is something more, like if this is a friendship with alot of lies, deception, things like that, then I think you need to reevaluate the whole friendship.

Pray about it, be honest with your friend and let her know you value your friendship.

Good luck,

Chenoa

 

[Doreen]

yep we're both christians. they are personal issues that caused the problems. that's why I didn't explain more. we have been able to be friends through a lot of other stuff in the past but this time it's not happening. the fault is both hers and mine in this situation so I guess we're both to blame.

since we couldn't talk on the phone I emailed her about what was going on and then she emailed back basically saying bye bye. she wasn't willing to even talk about the problem. anyway guess I can't do much about that.

there's never been lies, deception or anything we've always tried to have an open and honest friendship - and I don't really want to lose our friendship.

 

[Anti Existance]

You can't force someone to be with you, the only thing what's left is the realisation that in a future relationship such a pathway should be avoided before the damage is done.

 

[The-Doctor]

The only advice I can give is to view your friend as basically a good person regardless of what they do. You can never have bad thoughts about someone in this way.

 

[mwb]

Losing a friend is very sad but a friendship is a two way street. You deserve better than feeling like you have to beg the person to be friends. Perhaps it's best to give your friend some space & hope that she contacts you in the near future when she is ready to talk.