My friend has OCD

[Judy02]

Hi everyone. One of my friends who I've got to know has OCD, and worries a lot. I have problems with anxiety (i also suffer from depression which can make it worse)_ so i can sort of understand a bit, but I don't think I have OCD, I'm not sure. She rang me u before, almost in tears, worrying about something being her fault, when it most definetely wouldn't have been.

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice, on how I can be a good friend to her
Sorry if that sounds a bit stupid. I listened to her, tried to be sympathetic on how she was feeling, and kept reassuring her there was nothing to worry about. Is there anything else I would be able to do. She's the first person I've ever really known with OCD so I'm kinda new to this, but I really want to be able to help.

Anyone any ideas on how to be a good friend to someone like that? Thanks to anyone who can advise me...my prayers are with you all as well xxx

 

[Ruth~]

Sounds to me that like you are being a good friend just as you are. I bet she is glad to have such a good friend. God bless.

 

[frank1234]

Hi everyone. One of my friends who I've got to know has OCD, and worries a lot. I have problems with anxiety (i also suffer from depression which can make it worse)_ so i can sort of understand a bit, but I don't think I have OCD, I'm not sure. She rang me u before, almost in tears, worrying about something being her fault, when it most definetely wouldn't have been.

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice, on how I can be a good friend to her
Sorry if that sounds a bit stupid. I listened to her, tried to be sympathetic on how she was feeling, and kept reassuring her there was nothing to worry about. Is there anything else I would be able to do. She's the first person I've ever really known with OCD so I'm kinda new to this, but I really want to be able to help.

Anyone any ideas on how to be a good friend to someone like that? Thanks to anyone who can advise me...my prayers are with you all as well xxx

You have already done your part by giving her an advise that It wasn't her fault and you also listened to what she had to say. What you should not try to do is trying not to carry her cross for her. Every person has to carry their own cross;YOU are carring your own be going through your own anxiety and stuff. So do not allow caring for your friend become a burden so mush that It would pull you down. Just bring your burdens for her to the Lord and pray for her and then leave it there with him and do not try to carry her burdens on your own shoulder. God does not want us to do that. Your friend has to know that she has a friend that cares for her and listens to her and occasionally gives her advise, but also that she is strong enough not to being pulled down and effected in a negative way. God be with you.

 

[seajoy]

Hi everyone. One of my friends who I've got to know has OCD, and worries a lot. I have problems with anxiety (i also suffer from depression which can make it worse)_ so i can sort of understand a bit, but I don't think I have OCD, I'm not sure. She rang me u before, almost in tears, worrying about something being her fault, when it most definetely wouldn't have been.

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice, on how I can be a good friend to her
Sorry if that sounds a bit stupid. I listened to her, tried to be sympathetic on how she was feeling, and kept reassuring her there was nothing to worry about. Is there anything else I would be able to do. She's the first person I've ever really known with OCD so I'm kinda new to this, but I really want to be able to help.

Anyone any ideas on how to be a good friend to someone like that? Thanks to anyone who can advise me...my prayers are with you all as well xxx

You do sound like a true friend (as Ruth said), and the things that Frank said about not taking this on as your own burden, are good also.

One thing I'd like to add is that too much reasurance, for a person with ocd, is not the best either. Sounds like silly advice, right?
It's great that you reasured her that she need not feel guilty etc.., please don't get me wrong on that. But the thought she is having is an obsession. So just reassure her, and then, perhaps, go on to a new subject. (hard to do with an ocder!). I was the master of taking folks back to my obsession for reasurance!

Praying for her is such a huge help as well. You sound like a terrific friend. Just don't forget to take care of yourself .

God's blessings to you both!
seajoy

 

[Snowbunny]

Hola,

My husband has OCD it drives me crazy! He arranges everything into right angles, carries disinfectant to kill germs and absolutely REFUSES to touch the garbage can - when he is not on his medication

And that is my good news for you! He takes something called Lexapro which works perfectly! Tell your friend to talk to her doctor about it, if you think she is okay with talking about it. It really helped and I think I would recommend it to anyone

 

[Mskedi]

While meds can help people with OCD, it can also turn them into different people... I wouldn't seek medication unless she weren't functional.

If you can successfully change the subject, that would be the best course of action. Telling her things aren't her fault, etc, still allows her to obsess, though it is certainly kind and no doubt appreciated. Comfort her, then try to move on.

I, of course, am speaking about what works best for myself and those I know who have OCD. Feel free to disagree.

 

[seajoy]

While meds can help people with OCD, it can also turn them into different people... I wouldn't seek medication unless she weren't functional.

If you can successfully change the subject, that would be the best course of action. Telling her things aren't her fault, etc, still allows her to obsess, though it is certainly kind and no doubt appreciated. Comfort her, then try to move on.

I, of course, am speaking about what works best for myself and those I know who have OCD. Feel free to disagree.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to wait until someone is unable to function before going to a doctor to possibly go on meds. Taking meds for ocd is like for any other illness, some people just need to take them.

Yes, the the meds do change you, they change the chemicals in your brain so you can better handle your obsessions. Doing therapy too, makes for a great recipe!

I have taken 3 different meds for about 14 years. I'm very greatful to God for helping the doctors find the right combination that works for me.

Some folks can get by without taking meds...they are very fortunate.

seajoy

 

[Judy02]

Thanks a lot for the replies everyone! It helped. I just thought I'd ask from the perspective of those who have OCD

You have already done your part by giving her an advise that It wasn't her fault and you also listened to what she had to say. What you should not try to do is trying not to carry her cross for her. Every person has to carry their own cross;YOU are carring your own be going through your own anxiety and stuff. So do not allow caring for your friend become a burden so mush that It would pull you down. Just bring your burdens for her to the Lord and pray for her and then leave it there with him and do not try to carry her burdens on your own shoulder. God does not want us to do that. Your friend has to know that she has a friend that cares for her and listens to her and occasionally gives her advise, but also that she is strong enough not to being pulled down and effected in a negative way. God be with you.

Yeah I guess I should try and remember that...thanks

 

[Judy02]

You do sound like a true friend (as Ruth said), and the things that Frank said about not taking this on as your own burden, are good also.

One thing I'd like to add is that too much reasurance, for a person with ocd, is not the best either. Sounds like silly advice, right?
It's great that you reasured her that she need not feel guilty etc.., please don't get me wrong on that. But the thought she is having is an obsession. So just reassure her, and then, perhaps, go on to a new subject. (hard to do with an ocder!). I was the master of taking folks back to my obsession for reasurance!

Praying for her is such a huge help as well. You sound like a terrific friend. Just don't forget to take care of yourself .

God's blessings to you both!
seajoy

Thanks seajoy and Mskedi! I'll remember what you both said about trying to take her mind off it. I didn't really think of that, I guess I just didn't want her to think I was being unsympathetic or dismissive of her fears. I think she felt better after we spoke for 5 - 10 mins. She was just mainly expressing her worries, and I was just listening and reassuring her there was nothing to worry about and it was prob just her OCD, but sometimes I wish I understood it better.
Anyway, I will remember that, thanks xxx

 

[Mskedi]

I'm not sure it's a good idea to wait until someone is unable to function before going to a doctor to possibly go on meds. Taking meds for ocd is like for any other illness, some people just need to take them.

Yes, the the meds do change you, they change the chemicals in your brain so you can better handle your obsessions. Doing therapy too, makes for a great recipe!

I have taken 3 different meds for about 14 years. I'm very greatful to God for helping the doctors find the right combination that works for me.

Some folks can get by without taking meds...they are very fortunate.

seajoy

I'm not bashing the meds in any way... I just think therapy should be step #1, and meds should be used if that's not helping. The meds did (and continue to do) awful things to my mom.

 

[Mskedi]

Oh... another thing. It helps to allow humor into conversations about these obsessions. Sometimes laughing at how ridiculous what I'm doing is is enough of a break for me to be able to jump my mind onto another track.

Say, for example, I do something to create balance. Maybe I'll be tapping fingers on my right hand, then notice it, and then have to tap my fingers in the exact same sequence and the exact same number of times on my left hand. If I feel I mess up, I have to start all over again. It doesn't take too much brain power, so I can multitask unless it gets frustrating... but if someone notices and makes a joke about what I'm doing, I'm able to stop. If someone notices and acts concerned, it will continue.

It's possibly my own quirk (my mom's, too... but it could just be that we're in the same family), but if your friend is comfortable with that, it may be helpful.

It could potentially be hurtful, though, so I'd ask her if she ever felt like laughing about her obsessions first.

Of course, humor is entirely inappropriate when dealing with obsessiosn such as wanting to kill your children, drive off the road, or something equally distressing. Maybe the humor should be kept to the actual compulsions.

Proceed with caution on this one, if you proceed at all. My closest friends, however, are able to make my struggles funny to me, and that more than anything releases me --even temporarily -- from their grip.

 

[seajoy]

Oh... another thing. It helps to allow humor into conversations about these obsessions. Sometimes laughing at how ridiculous what I'm doing is is enough of a break for me to be able to jump my mind onto another track.

Say, for example, I do something to create balance. Maybe I'll be tapping fingers on my right hand, then notice it, and then have to tap my fingers in the exact same sequence and the exact same number of times on my left hand. If I feel I mess up, I have to start all over again. It doesn't take too much brain power, so I can multitask unless it gets frustrating... but if someone notices and makes a joke about what I'm doing, I'm able to stop. If someone notices and acts concerned, it will continue.

It's possibly my own quirk (my mom's, too... but it could just be that we're in the same family), but if your friend is comfortable with that, it may be helpful.

It could potentially be hurtful, though, so I'd ask her if she ever felt like laughing about her obsessions first.

Of course, humor is entirely inappropriate when dealing with obsessiosn such as wanting to kill your children, drive off the road, or something equally distressing. Maybe the humor should be kept to the actual compulsions.

Proceed with caution on this one, if you proceed at all. My closest friends, however, are able to make my struggles funny to me, and that more than anything releases me --even temporarily -- from their grip.

You are so right about using humor! It is very helpful. A lot of our obsessions/compulsions are pretty funny when it comes right down to it. Although they don't feel like it at the time !
Good idea to check with your friend on how she feels about it.
My hubby knows when he's gone too far with the teasing, (our friends, too).

May I ask how the meds have changed your mom? I'm sorry they don't seem to be working well. What is she taking? PM me if you'd rather.

seajoy