Sir William Scrooplinger was a seventy-two year old multi millionaire (in GB£). He was widowed and recently had taken a new bride. At his exclusive club he ran into an old school chum.
"I say Bill," the alumnis queried. "How did you get a nineteen year old girl to marry you when you are seventy-two?"
"Quite simple, old chap," Sir William replied, "I told her I was ninety."
"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla.
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."
The two housewifes were drinking coffee together. "On my way over here," said Louise, "I developed an awful headache. Do you have any good remedies?"
Her friend Martha responed: "When I get a headache, my husband is the best remedy. He rubs my shoulders, then the back of my neck. You should try it!"
"I'd love to," her friend replied. "What time does your husband get home?"
The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly.
"Colonel!" he spat out.
"Yes, general!" the colonel quavered.
"Your troops, your troops," stormed the general. "They look very nice, they stand very nice, but they stink, man, they stink! Can't you get them to change their underwear?" He strode away furiously.
The colonel sniffed for himself. "The general, yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with Giovanni..."
"I say Bill," the alumnis queried. "How did you get a nineteen year old girl to marry you when you are seventy-two?"
"Quite simple, old chap," Sir William replied, "I told her I was ninety."
"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla.
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."
The two housewifes were drinking coffee together. "On my way over here," said Louise, "I developed an awful headache. Do you have any good remedies?"
Her friend Martha responed: "When I get a headache, my husband is the best remedy. He rubs my shoulders, then the back of my neck. You should try it!"
"I'd love to," her friend replied. "What time does your husband get home?"
The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly.
"Colonel!" he spat out.
"Yes, general!" the colonel quavered.
"Your troops, your troops," stormed the general. "They look very nice, they stand very nice, but they stink, man, they stink! Can't you get them to change their underwear?" He strode away furiously.
The colonel sniffed for himself. "The general, yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with Giovanni..."
