My daughter started Cutting

ParaCristo · Apr 29, 2006

*phew*...this is hard...She started cutting last fall...and it took about 4 months for me and my wife to notice...she is very depressed about a close friend moving away, and her Grandparents also moving away also...Could you guys please lift her and our family up in prayer?...we are starting counseling soon

any thoughts or support would be great...
I have been reading on this subject and understand that it isn't really a desire to end her life but, a release of her anger and depression...

She has starting turning her back on God and us...I hope its not too late...

Thanks
Eduardo

justaspeck · Apr 30, 2006

pockleberry · Apr 30, 2006

If it's ok for me to ask how old is your daughter? I will be praying but if there is anything else I can do please let me know...If your daughter would like to talk to someone closer to her age I would be happy to talk to her...

Soulwings · May 2, 2006

The best piece of advice I can give is ... don't pressure your daughter into recovering. I know that her recovery is something that YOU want, but it's not necessarily something that she is ready for, and if you pressure her into it, she will only be more stressed and more likely to cut. At least, that held true for me; the pressure exerted by parents to recover is immense and so hard to cope with. Be there for your daughter, as I'm sure you are. Don't condemn her or criticise her.

Like Pockleberry said ... I'm here if she wants someone to talk to. I've cut for going on two years now and I've done the whole run of things - psychs, counseling, medication, and hospitalisation.

Take care. And it is NEVER too late for her to come back from turning her back to God and you. I've been there. I'm still there. But I'm returning, after I never thought I would.

Tubachick · May 2, 2006

I'm praying for her. I know how hard it can be to stop. Just let her know that you love her, not just in words but in your actions too. Godspeed!!!

graysparrow · May 2, 2006

I'm very interested in cutting, as many of the street children I have worken with, cut or have cut.

If this offer some hope... often street kids stop cutting once they are out of the streets... nor that is over night or that there are no relapses but that's the general trend.

ParaCristo · May 2, 2006

justaspeck said:
hello... first i want to tell you some stuff. I am a 17 year old and i have been cutting since october. I know how hard it is to find out someone cuts, i dealt with it with a friend. I know you must be really really scared for your daughter, but she is ok. She just doesnt knowany other way to get out the emotional pain. some suggestions for you, that i wish my parents would do b/c it would help so much with me.
1) Tell her you love her every time you can, and show her with actions
2) DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT check her randomly for cuts... this makes me f eel violated and like i want to cut even more, just in places you cant see
3) Be lenient with chores, homework, and responsibilities... it is SO hard to concentrate or do anything when yhou are depressed like that. Just let her sleep or watch TV or do what she wants. Try to encourage her to go out with friends
4) DONT SAY IT IS HER FAULT! DO NOT BLAME THINGS ON HER
5) Keep her secret... but encourage her to tell a friend she trusts so she can help share the burden,
6) DO take away knives/ other stuff she is using. this is something my parents didnt do that i had to do myself
7) If she wants to talk to you guys let her talk and dont make a rebuttle.... she is scared to talk in the first place and any rebiuttle will make her hate you... I hate my parents atm
8) be open to meds... i need to go to the psychologist but am scared of telling my parents... be open fromthe start... tell her if she wants them that she can get them

I will pray for you. please follow this advice, i know it seems weird but its coming from someone in your daughters position. It is important for the parents to help, but in the right way. She needs love more than ever in this time. Tell your daughter if she ever wants to pm me shes more than happy to.

justaspeck

Thanks so much for the advice...I have pretty much already done that stuff...and have been very kind to her...
we can talk very openly about stuff...But, I am still her dad and she doesn't confide to me all of her secrets..(her mom either)...
I am trusting the Lord will help along with good counsel and drugs if necessary...
God Bless ya Justaspeck
Eduardo

ParaCristo · May 2, 2006

pockleberry said:
If it's ok for me to ask how old is your daughter? I will be praying but if there is anything else I can do please let me know...If your daughter would like to talk to someone closer to her age I would be happy to talk to her...

She is 14 and I appreciate your prayers!!!

ParaCristo · May 2, 2006

Thanks so much TubaChick and Soulwings....I am being very supportive of her...and I am there for her whenever she needs me...I think we have actually been kinder since we have found out.

She says she feels a hue relief that we actually know
*phew*

again..thanks everybody!!!

meh · May 2, 2006

It's never too late and I will certainly keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully in counseling she can give voice to her feelings and will learn how to voice them instead of cut. And I think it's wonderful you all seem open to help and are willing to help. What a wonderful blessing for your daughter. God be with you.

ParaCristo · May 2, 2006

meh said:
It's never too late and I will certainly keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully in counseling she can give voice to her feelings and will learn how to voice them instead of cut. And I think it's wonderful you all seem open to help and are willing to help. What a wonderful blessing for your daughter. God be with you.

Thanks Meh!!!
your prayers are appreciated!!!

Mr.Cheese · May 3, 2006

A good place to start is the book "Bodily Harm" by the ladies who started the SAFE program. ALternatively their website is, if I may post this, www.selfinjury.com

This book is a good introduction. I do think that their clinical perspective may be a little harsh as their background comes through running an inpatient self-injury clinic. The rest of us ahve to deal with self-injury in our homes and such, which are completely different environments.
Love, patience, encouragement.

Your willingness to learn about it and help is fantastic.

ParaCristo · May 3, 2006

Mr.Cheese said:
A good place to start is the book "Bodily Harm" by the ladies who started the SAFE program. ALternatively their website is, if I may post this, www.selfinjury.com

This book is a good introduction. I do think that their clinical perspective may be a little harsh as their background comes through running an inpatient self-injury clinic. The rest of us ahve to deal with self-injury in our homes and such, which are completely different environments.
Love, patience, encouragement.

Your willingness to learn about it and help is fantastic.

Thanks Mr C......I will check it out

ChristInAction · May 14, 2006

Hey, I've cut for 2years & I'm old 13 but I know whats its all about, please let her know tha you love her b'coz she is so lucky to have! I've never had a loving family other than my church one & its important to someone who harms themselves to know that they are loved.
Dont push the issue she WILL talk to you or someone she trust & knows loves her if you give her sapce, dont forse anything on her b'coz that will make matters ALOT worse.
Yes pray as much as you can for her, I have a few people who know about my problem praying for me & since I have I've been getting more & more strengh to stop.
I dont really know how to help past that b'coz my parents hate me & I'd be trorfide of getting hurt if they ever found out. I'm sorry I cant be more help good luck I'll be praying for your family xox

justaspeck · May 14, 2006

ParaCristo · May 16, 2006

justaspeck said:
How is your daughter???

She is doing very well...she has seen a great counselor...but, it's gonna be a battle for a while...I appreciate your prayers....we are still showing Christs love to her always!!!
God Bless

meh · May 17, 2006

ParaCristo said:
She is doing very well...she has seen a great counselor...but, it's gonna be a battle for a while...I appreciate your prayers....we are still showing Christs love to her always!!!
God Bless

I am so glad you found a great counselor! My continued prayers for all of you. This battle can be won.

ParaCristo · Jul 31, 2006

Update on my daughter...she is still seeing a counselor once every two weeks and she has been doing great...
She has not cut since this spring....
Continue to pray for her
God Bless
Eduardo

Bamboo_Chicken · Aug 3, 2006

That's great news Eduardo! Your daughter and your family are in my prayers.

justaspeck · Aug 3, 2006

My daughter started Cutting

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