I'm 19 and for most of my entire life I've lived a pitiful and pathetic life. I failed in just about everything I set out to do. I have wanted to die for years and even more so now. There have been people who have damaged my psyche on a profound level by making me think that I am inferior to everyone else. I see them living happier and more fufilling lives than me. All the while I find myself suffering living in shambles without any hope of things getting better. I feel nothing but hatred and resentment toward each and everyone thats hurt me and when I see them living better lives than me I want to destroy their lives. I also suspect my father may just drive me out of the house eventually. I have no means to get a job or getting anything. I don't even know where to begin with pursuing a career in network engineering. It is quite competitive and I don't believe I have the intelligence or competence to do any kind of job let alone be competitive. If I killed myself I would go to hell and if I live life will be a hell. I need advice please.
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My current situation
- Thread starter Jason94
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ToBeBlessed
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Many people that have depression hang on to our pain. Situations that caused our pain as well as the people who caused the situation. This is not uncommon.
It is however very difficult for those with depression to get past these negative feelings and hanging onto this hurt without the strength of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I have been seeking a heart of forgiveness for over a year. It is not that God has not healed me, he is teaching me how to let go, to realize that every other living person WILL hurt me, WILL let me down and that I need to forgive them right away.
Many people have said that the one who does not forgive only hurts themselves and it's true. We hold on to this negative, bad feeling. That is why you hate the people that have moved on. They are in peace and you are not.
I have the same thing, so I understand. I struggle with the same thing. We need to love ourselves as much as Christ did when He died for us. He will help, if you pray for a heart of forgiveness. Realize that the human body and soul needs to move past hurt and disappointment. This is healthy. We just have to work harder to achieve it and He WILL help you, because He is helping me.
We are to cast all of our cares upon Him. What is a heavy burden for us, is not for Him. He wants to help. Admit where you have a problem and pray. He has guided me torwards a new very welcoming church. Part of the church service is to meet, talk and edify believers before and after service. I am finding much love here. Find out where the love of Jesus Christ is and be there.
Good luck and God bless you.
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Jupiter Drops
be like a flower and turn your face to the sun
You need to start seeing a therapist now.
You're only 19 years old. I doubt that you've finished your degree by now. You may not believe it, but a lot of people have a hard time in the Engineering program. It's one of the toughest programs out there.
No one can have the right to make you feel like a failure. You will keep on feeling like a failure if you keep on listening to Satan's lies.
Everyone has their winning moments and failures. Don't make yourself feel pathetic just because of trip ups. I tripped up too many times too.
But despite all this pain and trials, there's something bigger planned out for you by God himself.
You're only 19 years old. I doubt that you've finished your degree by now. You may not believe it, but a lot of people have a hard time in the Engineering program. It's one of the toughest programs out there.
No one can have the right to make you feel like a failure. You will keep on feeling like a failure if you keep on listening to Satan's lies.
Everyone has their winning moments and failures. Don't make yourself feel pathetic just because of trip ups. I tripped up too many times too.
But despite all this pain and trials, there's something bigger planned out for you by God himself.
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miss-a
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I am sorry for your pain. I have felt that way too. But it will pass. Things will get better. It sounds like you have some things going on that could be helped by seeing a doctor and also talking with a pastor.
Also, I think this teaching could help you. Freedom from Depression - YouTube
I'm praying for you and sending you a pm,
a
Also, I think this teaching could help you. Freedom from Depression - YouTube
I'm praying for you and sending you a pm,
a
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you need to forgive yourself and everyone, no matter how damaged you have become, holding onto it only allows evils to grow and multiply in you. but forgiveness will grow more good in you. forgiving, having mercy and to stop judging others and yourself is to be released from a burden that was holding you down from flying freely in all good things. the less things we have to hold us down the closer we shall feel our connection with God and the better off we will be, no matter if our daily life appears as a success or not. if you don't judge yourself over it and do what little you can you give room for God but if you judge and condemn yourself and others you will blind yourself from good things.
the less in our way to God, the better. I believe everyone needs a profound taste of the goodness of God. let us allow him to give us all good things of his Holy Spirit by emptying us of all things that do not serve us. if we desire freedom and reach for God then God will do the rest, but we must keep reaching for him and let go of the evils that he might heal us after the evil darts are plucked out of us. and may God himself wound us with his own arrows, for they are very good for us to be crippled by.
the less in our way to God, the better. I believe everyone needs a profound taste of the goodness of God. let us allow him to give us all good things of his Holy Spirit by emptying us of all things that do not serve us. if we desire freedom and reach for God then God will do the rest, but we must keep reaching for him and let go of the evils that he might heal us after the evil darts are plucked out of us. and may God himself wound us with his own arrows, for they are very good for us to be crippled by.
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I am praying that you are able to find peace in your heart - I know that it is not always easy, but just have faith that it will come. I can promise you that it will. Unfortunately the art of forgiveness, patience, and having complete faith can sometimes take practice. I am working daily on increasing these virtues so I can tell you honestly that it does take work to remove negative thoughts from our mind - and its not always easy. But it can be done, and with faith and works you will be able to do so in order to find everlasting peace.
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