My boyfriend

[California Dreamin']

Hey,
I felt like letting this all out.
I met a guy online and he lives in the city I am moving to in 13 DAYS! (I am kinda getting excited about moving). I am going there for university and I was trying to meet some people there and I met him in the process.
He was so SWEET to me, it was incredible and I liked him from the start. We are now a couple! He is amazing!
There's one problem. He is not a Christian. I am going into the ministry so church is a large part of my life now. I go to church every Sunday and I thought it would be wonderful to go to church with my boyfriend, I've never had a boyfriend who would go to church with me. I don't know what to do. We have talked about children (no, we are not planning children anytime soon but I like to talk about the future to see if we are compatible). I am going to show him this post when I am done writing it. I am so concerned for him. I just don't know what to do. Anyways, he basically said that our children can go to church with me but he won't go?

 

[Remog]

13 days indeed... I do look forward to it.

I figured this would be a time to explain myself. Kelly I love you. I really do, which is why Iam replying to this: I will say this I don't know my path. Through out my life I have strived to be my own person, in my mind I never thought of how I could fit into a relegion be it Christanity or whatever it may be. Honestly I don't know what I belive. I do belive this: I respect you for having such strong convictions, I admire that. There may be a time (perhaps sooner than later) when I will make the choice to embrace God. And you may be the one to show me that path. either way, I want to be with you. relegion asside, I love you. I hope you understand my point of view on this. For our kids I would want them to experiance every thing there is to experiance about the world, even if I never got that opertunity. thats why I said that about them going to church. You never know. I could be there beside them, only time will tell.

~mike

 

[Fatolia]

canadiancarebear, I URGE you to keep your feet on the ground, or your heart will be broken I promise. Spend an hour in prayer to cool off, trying hard not to think about him, and to think about only what God has in store for you. You're 18 and you're dying for love. Guard your heart; it is a precious thing.

Beginning or even progressing relationships on the Internet is dangerous. I've done it twice (with people I had met as casual friendships outside the Internet), and it's broken my heart twice. Ask your parents if this seems right and trust their wisdom. Their first intuition is probably right.

The kind of things this person is saying to you impacts your heart powerfully. That's how God wired you. This guy said "I love you," which may be so, but give it time. Cool down before you overheat and get to know him better before you even start to consider children. And the things he says about "in my mind I never thought of how I could fit into a relegion be it Christanity or whatever it may be" is almost precisely what the girl said to me who thought she loved me. But I got burned after I actually started spending physical time with her. It's worth the wait to get emotionally intimate!

I recommend you avoid even the tempting lure of holding hands when you get to him, because that's only the first step to more intimate things. Be cool.

Use wisdom, sister. Look at what you are about to do with level head. PLEASE. Brain above feelings, especially in this. Remember the ol verse of Jesus' "Don't yoke yourselves with unbelievers"

 

[Pope Gonzo]

Love is a strong word. Become his friend FIRST and above all. Always keep your friendship first. If he sees Christ (hopefully he sees it in all of us ) and comes to a genuine personal relationship with him, and God tells you guys that dating is a good idea, rock on. However, always keep God in the center of your relationship. Take PLENTY of time to become friends. At 18, I don't think you're in rush to get married

 

[California Dreamin']

my mom is really pressuring me into a relationship. i wanna cry just thinking about how to write my response now.. okay, officially crying.
anyways, my mom says i can't get a boyfriend. when i do, she says i can't keep one. she tried setting me up with someone back in january, it was a disaster. he tried to take me 'parking' the first night.
i have gone to the internet to try to find someone i guess. i am scared i will never get married.

last year, i found a guy who is a believer on the internet. we had a really close relationship on the internet, eventually telephone. he still talks to me and still has feelings for me. i don't think he is very christ like. he is such a 'strong' christian but probably one of the most perverted people i know. mike is not a christian and he is a lot better to me than this christian guy was. i am not saying i don't want a christian boyfriend, i really do, i pray for mike's salvation. i just think that mike treats me how i want to be treated and that's what i see as important right now.

 

[Fatolia]

How I wish I was there to comfort you and to provide a shoulder to cry on!

That's so unfortunate that your mom's pressuring you. You don't NEED a boyfriend. God satisfies the longings of my heart more than anything, as will most people on this board attest to. And he will yours too.

You are very confused, I can see that, and I pray so much that you find a peace in this. Please listen to me here. Coming from a man's perspective, I've said those words to many girls before; the only reason I ever said those words to anyone was because I wanted to speed things up, and it just confused the girls, putting them into panic mode. Their reaction was "make a choice now or lose me." But that's not how a healthy relationship goes. Take it slow. Follow your brain. And pray...please!

Don't worry about not getting married. There's a lot of stuff I learned in between 18 and 21 that I would have regretted if I got married to the girls I thought I was in love with. Big time regret. But more than anything, you've got time now. Get your hands busy with serving God, friend, and the panic will subside.

 

[California Dreamin']

I am an only child and I am really close with my mother.
But it just seems like she sometimes wants me to leave, and get married or something. I am moving 3-4 hrs. away for university and she has clearly said she doesn't want me meeting guys off of the Internet up there.
I think she is worried she will not get grandchildren or something.

 

[Fatolia]

My mom has that too. I'm single and celibate, and it's going to stay that way for a long time. But she's just going to have to live with that fact, because it's my life.

And your life is yours. The choices you make in a relationship will be with you for your whole life, long past the time your mother passes away. You have choices of who to give your life to. Would you rather give 50% of your life to Jesus or 100%? Get on AIM and I'll chat with you if you'd like.

 

[tndrwarrior]

I think Pope Gonzo gave some good advice when he said become his friend first. You didn't really say how long you two have been interested in one another, but it sounds like you're rushing the relationship. Normally I recommend not dating non-Christians but since it seems like your past that, I strongly recommend getting to know one another before discussing such heavy topics such as children.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

I don't see there being any "getting past" dating a non-Christian. It's just not a good idea. Take the time to become friends and lead him to Christ. If he won't go, then it's just not in God's plan.

 

[California Dreamin']

I think Pope Gonzo gave some good advice when he said become his friend first. You didn't really say how long you two have been interested in one another, but it sounds like you're rushing the relationship. Normally I recommend not dating non-Christians but since it seems like your past that, I strongly recommend getting to know one another before discussing such heavy topics such as children.

I guess you didn't read what I wrote.
I discuss children to see if we are compatible. I am not expecting a baby for like 7 years!

 

[California Dreamin']

I don't see there being any "getting past" dating a non-Christian. It's just not a good idea. Take the time to become friends and lead him to Christ. If he won't go, then it's just not in God's plan.

I've tried everything. I don't know what to do anymore.
We even talked about getting *engaged*.

 

[Iggster]

Hey Carebear,

Just wanted to give my 2 cents and give you an advise from an ole fart like myself.

First and foremost, where is your relationship with God? How's that going for yah? I strongly advise you to focus on Him first and worry about the rest later. You are so young. You have alot going for you. It's great to plan ahead. But are you also willing to accept that the Lord may have His plans for you?

I have dated non Christian women in the past only to be led astray. I'm not saying that that'll happen to you. But do be careful. For when all of us are gone and no one is there by your side, You can always count on the Lord to be with you.

I have been with Amanda now for a year. I've known her for 4 yrs. We became friends, then good friends, then best of friends......No one would have known we were headed in that direction, but the Lord Himself. Being that she came from a very strong Christian family and I was coming out of my rebellious past.

As for the wolf in sheeps clothing, dump the prick like a bad habit. And for your current b/f, I sincerely hope that he's not looking at this as a religion. It's about having a personal relationship with the Lord.

I wish you both the best. I hope the Lord will use you for His glory and be a witness to your b/f. I also pray you would be able to just let go and trust in Him to lead you.

 

[Iggster]

13 days indeed... I do look forward to it.

I figured this would be a time to explain myself. Kelly I love you. I really do, which is why Iam replying to this: I will say this I don't know my path. Through out my life I have strived to be my own person, in my mind I never thought of how I could fit into a relegion be it Christanity or whatever it may be. Honestly I don't know what I belive. I do belive this: I respect you for having such strong convictions, I admire that. There may be a time (perhaps sooner than later) when I will make the choice to embrace God. And you may be the one to show me that path. either way, I want to be with you. relegion asside, I love you. I hope you understand my point of view on this. For our kids I would want them to experiance every thing there is to experiance about the world, even if I never got that opertunity. thats why I said that about them going to church. You never know. I could be there beside them, only time will tell.

~mike

Break my lil sister's heart and I'll break your legs.....j/k

It's not about the religion, man. It's about having a personal relationship with the Lord. I can't explain that to you now because He Himself will have His time with you. I can only hope and pray you'll open your heart and listen.

 

[California Dreamin']

he asked me today how to become christian

 

[KristianJ]

I pray that God will help you to be strong and wise as to where you move in this situation, carebear. If you consider his approach on becoming a Christian to be sincere, then be a faithful witness and show him how he can commit his life to the Lord and accept Jesus as his Saviour. But if you fear that his hesitation to commit could affect your relationship with God, then I would be seriously considering whether it's worth the effort. A relationship without a common goal and focus will sadly not bring glory to God...

 

[deornie]

Just take your time and throw away your friend and boyfriend just because he is 'not christian' dont be judgemental, just take him as he is and maybe he will be inspired by youone day! Please dont put label on him, i believe it is wrong just to keep away from person because he is not Christian... take care and juat take your time and become friends with him! Dont worry God has everything under control, maybe this guy is in your life for some special reason? Just watch what's gonna happen!!*hugz*