my best friend

[trying2survive09]

So, i'm not suffering from an eating disorder, but one of my best friends is. I don't know what to say to her or how to help anymore. I've been praying for the right words to say, but everything that comes to me and doesn't seem to help. Some days she doesn't want to get better. If any of you have any ideas on what I should try in order to help her, please please please let me know. (my friend is a christian in case you were wondering).

 

[katey]

you and your friend are in difficult situation.s i haven't ben in your shoes but your friends i am in. and yes somedays things do seem so hard and aren't worth trying to fight. i am just gratefull that the mates i have are with me at time, even if they don't say anything or do anything. they are there when i desperatly need them. just knowing they are there helps at times.

i thinknthat mayeb you should just tell your friend you are there for her no matter what, if you feel you can be. she'll probably be gratefull for it.
i know it seems hard and is probably very upsetting to see her not wanting to fight, but having someone there she can trust will help her. there wil be days when she won't wantr to see anyone. or do anythign, she may get a bit angry at people. but don't take it personally.

hope that helps.

am praying for you both

 

[madison1101]

The first thing I can share with you is to read up on the eating disorder your friend has. Learn about it to the extent that you understand that she did not choose to have this eating disorder, and that it is not about the food. Then, let her know you are there for her and that she can be honest and be herself with you. Try not to judge her.

 

[PureGrace]

it is great that you care enough to be in here looking for some help. I would love to have a friend that concerned about me!

Don't be fooled into thinking that you can fix her disorder. It hurts to watch her go through these things, but you won't be able to make it all better, despite how much you want to.

Just be there for her. pray for her. encourage her. That will mean the world to her =o)

Best of luck

Kate

 

[bumblebee62331]

Ok this seems horrible, but tell someone. Someone you trust. Someone who can help you with this burden because that's what it is - it's a big thing to struggle with on your own. Watching your friend damage her body is not an easy thing to do.

You can't fix her. She has to fix herself. You can support her and guide her, but you can't fix everything.

Your friend needs help before it's too late. Well, you know, before she gets really stuck in it. These things can go on for years. You need to tell someone.

She will probably be angry at you and very very hateful. But once she's getting help, she will understand that you were just trying to help her. It's not her doing this, it's the illness, it's the little voice in her mind that's telling her she needs to do this and continue to do this. Pray, ask for guidance and get someone to help support you as well.

 

[trying2survive09]

Katey- Thank you for the advice. I told her I'd always be here for her, but I don't really think she believed me. I know she's feeling very alone right now.

Madision1101- I've done a lot of reading on it. I was actually suppose to lead a Bible study on it over the summer, but that never worked out. I told her that she can be honest with me and that I'm here for her. Thank you.

PureGrace- I know that I can't fix this...I just wish I could. It does hurt a lot to watch her go through this and there are days that I'm terrified that she will die. I'll definitely keep what you said in mind. Thank you

Byootaful- I actually did tell someone. I told my mentor about it and she's been helping me deal with my feelings. I know I can't fix it and that I have to just be here. I think she's coming around to making the right choice about getting help. My roommate and I both felt God telling us to tell someone that can help her about it. We haven't yet, but are planning to very shortly. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom

 

[bumblebee62331]

Katey- Thank you for the advice. I told her I'd always be here for her, but I don't really think she believed me. I know she's feeling very alone right now.

Madision1101- I've done a lot of reading on it. I was actually suppose to lead a Bible study on it over the summer, but that never worked out. I told her that she can be honest with me and that I'm here for her. Thank you.

PureGrace- I know that I can't fix this...I just wish I could. It does hurt a lot to watch her go through this and there are days that I'm terrified that she will die. I'll definitely keep what you said in mind. Thank you

Byootaful- I actually did tell someone. I told my mentor about it and she's been helping me deal with my feelings. I know I can't fix it and that I have to just be here. I think she's coming around to making the right choice about getting help. My roommate and I both felt God telling us to tell someone that can help her about it. We haven't yet, but are planning to very shortly. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom

It sounds like you have approached this problem with a mature and caring outlook. You have done the right thing by telling someone else, and telling your friend that you are worried. You need to dedicate some of your time every day to be with your friend and try to help her self-image and help her to control her urges.

It may be worthwhile your friend going to see a psychiatrist. An eating disorder is just a symptom of a much deeper problem. Find the problem and you find the solution to overcoming the ED.

 

[NinadeDios777]

and always be there to support her, that sreally important.

 

[Daysoni]

Speaking as a person with an Ed and of a friend with a Ed your doing things right. Sometimes the best thing is to just spend time with one another. Not talking about the Ed. If others know that is. Mine is well known about so for me when I am just with friends who I can have a good time with or a quiet time with it helps so much. At times it may look as thought your friend is not fighting but deep down inside there is probablly a little part of her that is. We are all fighters. That's how we have made it this far. Just accept her like you are. she knows you care and love her. And sooner or later she will hopefully have more good days then bad days. Don't forget that not only is God with her during this difficult time He is with you also. You are both in my prayers............

Finally be stong in the Lord and in his great power.
(Ephesians 6:10