Mum <3

[Peteza]

Figured I better say g'day to all Surfed across forum here a few weeks ago while looking up something - anything. Saw a few quotes on another thread that lead to Harold Ivan Smith's book Grieving The Death Of A Mother.

Who would have thought Heaven could get even more awesome huh? Mum went Home at end of September 2010. She walked with Christ for over 70 of her 80 years down here (41 and couple of months that I saw first-hand) so know where she is - but just absolutely shattered.

At the moment I will be impressed if I get to other side of this without a detour via padded room

God bless all.

Pete

 

[power2theweak]

(((Pete))) I really want to respond to this...either here or via a personal message. But, I will have to do so later. I'm leaving for work right now. So, for now...just hugs.

s

 

[power2theweak]

Sent you a message.

 

[NoelAsa]

It is very hard when a loved ones dies. We are left with the grief and picking up the pieces of our lives with out them. It can be difficult during the first year because of all of the missed holidays and family events with out our loved one with us. I hope that you are in grief counseling or are considering it. It helped me a lot when my husband died three years ago.

 

[Peteza]

I can't PM 'power' yet and would probably just end up repeating myself here anyway so may as well post here

In my 41 & bit years it would only average 1-2 days a year at the most that I didn't see mum. I don't think I had any over-night trips away without taking her with me in last 10 years or so. As well as the trips together we also ministered together in kids Sunday school, puppet shows, and tag-team messages at Church. In April 2008 I left work to become full-time carer for her.

10 weeks today we lost her - so far have avoided the funny farm. I said a few times from about 3-4 weeks after losing her that I'ld really prefer not to have a breakdown - over the weekend though was thinking more that I'm already in one trying to get out - or maybe just damage control.

Was not keen on idea of pills but trying them to see if can take a bit of the edge off the pain. Started a tumblr page (oops - that I can't link to yet >___<) about a week ago to vent a bit, throw in some grief links, and anything else on it.


NoelAsa, yeah...I read H. Norman Wright's Experiencing Grief and it gave first year warnings. The one I'm dreading will be my birthday in July...Try not to think ahead but if things aren't eased by then I'll really go Chernobyl (if I haven't already).

Did try a counselor but don't think there too much they can tell me that I don't already know (I'm a genius and so humble ) - but if things haven't settled a bit by the time I see doc again next Friday I might have to try another one.

Some of the books/articles on grief say it isn't a thing that has to be 'fixed' - but I want it fixed!

 

[Broken Hearted]

Hugs Peteza. Im sorry you lost your mom. I lost my mom 2yrs ago and my brother 11 months ago. Its really hard. Ive had to do alot of therapy and take alot of meds. They wont fix the pain that you feel though. It helps some. But it seems you are still early in grieving. Its really hard for months to come and even years. Sometimes it will get a little easier but then somedays youll just break down. I was hospitalized after about 4 months of losing my mom. I just needed the time to rest and really work on the grieving part of it. But I dont know if there is any words that will give comfort. Its just a painful healing process we have to take. If you need to talk you can go to my page and leave me a visitor message. Ill be praying for you though. HUGS

 

[power2theweak]

I can tell that your mom is so very special to you. I am so sorry that she is no longer in your life.

A lot of people recommended grief counseling for me, too. In the end, I did not go. I am shy and have a hard time talking about things. But, like you, I really didn't think there was anything that anyone could do to ease the pain...it was just something that I had to experience. It hurts to lose someone you love. Period. In hindsight, I'm sure they could have given me ideas on how to cope better. But, I did get help from Internet websites and books.

Every holiday without Mom is hard, but the one I was really dreading was Mother's Day. It ended up being OK, though. God will send you His perfect peace just when you need it the most.

Gotta run for now. May have time to write more later.

(((Pete)))

I can't PM 'power' yet and would probably just end up repeating myself here anyway so may as well post here

In my 41 & bit years it would only average 1-2 days a year at the most that I didn't see mum. I don't think I had any over-night trips away without taking her with me in last 10 years or so. As well as the trips together we also ministered together in kids Sunday school, puppet shows, and tag-team messages at Church. In April 2008 I left work to become full-time carer for her.

10 weeks today we lost her - so far have avoided the funny farm. I said a few times from about 3-4 weeks after losing her that I'ld really prefer not to have a breakdown - over the weekend though was thinking more that I'm already in one trying to get out - or maybe just damage control.

Was not keen on idea of pills but trying them to see if can take a bit of the edge off the pain. Started a tumblr page (oops - that I can't link to yet >___<) about a week ago to vent a bit, throw in some grief links, and anything else on it.


NoelAsa, yeah...I read H. Norman Wright's Experiencing Grief and it gave first year warnings. The one I'm dreading will be my birthday in July...Try not to think ahead but if things aren't eased by then I'll really go Chernobyl (if I haven't already).

Did try a counselor but don't think there too much they can tell me that I don't already know (I'm a genius and so humble ) - but if things haven't settled a bit by the time I see doc again next Friday I might have to try another one.

Some of the books/articles on grief say it isn't a thing that has to be 'fixed' - but I want it fixed!

 

[Peteza]

Typed a bit but got a mismatched whatsit error >___< Will just have to say "God bless BH & power" for now and try later.

 

[The Maltese Momma]

My mom lost the battle of lung cancer on Oct. 4, 2009. Daddy died a little over 2 years previously. When Mom passed, it was like they both had died. I was a kid that loved her parents and enjoyed them. I have been so blessed in the fact that I hadn't lost someone of my immediate family until Daddy died in 2007. It broke me into a million pieces. I was a Daddy's girl. The longer the time for me hasn't really helped me in the least. When it gets bad, I write them a letter, and stick it in a folder. I'm not one who has hidden their items.....I have photos all over the house. I speak about them or quote them everyday. I know where they are and I want to be there too. I'm expecting the rapture at any moment. I'm not suicidal in the least. I'm just sad, not depressed. So Pete, I can relate and it isn't easy. BUT, I trust Jesus with EVERYTHING! He helps me all the time. I am grateful.

 

[grace72]

My mom just died on New Years Eve. I can't even describe the pain I am in. I also feel like a padded room is just a day or two away. I feel like I am going crazy almost all of the time. I had to go to urgent care and get on anxiety medication b/c i keep having horrible panic attacks. Every day I wake up and the nightmare continues. I immediately found a counselor and will see her for the 3rd time this week. I start a Griefshare group at my church this week. I am seeking out every possible thing I can do to help me get through this without having to be hospitalized or completely losing my mind. I have to keep going b/c I have a job and children to take care of. I went through a devastating divorce 5 years ago and I can honestly say this has been 100 times worse. I never thought anything could be worse than surviving my divorce but now I know. I feel as if my life will never be happy again. That I will always feel like I am just trying to get through the day without throwing up or having a panic attack. I miss my mom desperately. I keep calling her house even though I know she won't answer. I can barely stand that this has happened. I keep my Bible close to me. I pray all the time and hold on to the hope that Jesus will pull me through. I listen to the audio Bible all night long. I will just keep doing these things and hope that one day I will have some peace.

 

[NoelAsa]

I am so sorry, that is terrible. What you are feeling is normal and you are doing all of the right things to take care of yourself. I am so glad that you saw a counselor right away and are doing a Griefshare group at your church. I lost my husband over three years ago and it was horrible. It is hard to believe but it will get better. It will take quite a while and everyone goes through this in their own way.

 

[Peteza]

Sorry all, I really should type more here but getting anything done is just ... I dunno ...