Just a thought...do you think it's acceptable for your husband to fly home to be with his mother and siblings on Mother's Day instead of with his wife and kids?
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Mother's Day
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Niffer
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I would probably be a little bummed, but it IS Mothers Day, and if he doesn't often see his mum and all his sibs are planning on being there too; then yeah I think he should be able to go guilt-free. 
Peace,
~Niffer
Peace,
~Niffer
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akmom
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If it was my husband, then sure. I don't keep him on a ball-and-chain.
As long as he is getting quality time with his family, I don't think making alternate plans on Mother's Day or any other day should be a problem.
As long as he is getting quality time with his family, I don't think making alternate plans on Mother's Day or any other day should be a problem.
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Inkachu
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Unless there's something going on where he might not see her at other times (like if she's terminally ill or going through a major crisis) - nope. You're his priority, Mom takes a backseat the moment he marries you. You're the #1 mother in his life now, the mother of HIS kids. Go visit Mom on her birthday or another special occasion. Leaving his wife alone on Mother's Day? Not cool.
Another option is to pack up the rugrats and make it a family trip
Another option is to pack up the rugrats and make it a family trip
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Mother's day is a stupid invention by hallmark and rose farmers.I have found myself in a position at one point to where I am a mother who has a mother who has a mother and I have a dil who is a mother.And my mother has daughters who are a mothers not to mention my husband has a mother and I am her DIL who is a mother too.It reminds me of that book from when I was young titled "you're not my mother".But its almost more like I'm not your mother and you aren't my mother either you are my sister who is mother. and so is my niece!
Mothers day is every day.Marking it on a calendar confuses everyone!
So now I just acknowledge my mother.Who is my mother.Make sure I acknowledge my husbands mother. Say happy mothers day to all mothers and then hide under the bed.
and so is my niece!Mothers day is every day.Marking it on a calendar confuses everyone!
So now I just acknowledge my mother.Who is my mother.Make sure I acknowledge my husbands mother. Say happy mothers day to all mothers and then hide under the bed.
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If he has to fly home I would assume he doesn't see her and his siblings all that often.
Why not do 'Mother's Day' the weekend before with you and the kids, and allow him to met with his family that weekend? Yes, it is a special day of course. Also keep in mind it tends to be more of a 'hallmark' holiday than one that tends to be more official. Having the celebration 'on that day' alone isn't needed. We should be celebrating 'parent' days all year long IMO.
Sometimes its easier to schedule things for families in this circumstance on special days like this, and I assume the money isn't there to have the entire family come? Schedule conflict or what not.
To me this really isn't a 'leave and cleave' type of deal. A family should be able to pick a special day NOT according to the Hallmark calendar, and give her WORKS! lol Mom's and Dad's should have this quarterly! If the man is living in your home, and helping you parent your family? He already 'left and is cleaving'...Seriously!
This Mother's day is going to be hard for me personally, and I will be spending it with his family. My mother is in the final stages of dementia, and I won't be doing that day anymore for her. I will go and spend time at her facility, and give her chocolate. She won't know I'm doing it because I love her, and appreciate her as a mom. I will do it to honor her, because God also asks us to...and because I want to as well.
Keep in mind chances are very good you will have PLENTY of Mother's Day ahead of you, and no competition once your MIL in gone. Try to keep it in prospective...I doubt very much he wants to go there to hurt you in any way. No doubt he wants to honor you both, but in different ways. Show him how he can do that! I mean both of you are very special to him no doubt!
Why not do 'Mother's Day' the weekend before with you and the kids, and allow him to met with his family that weekend? Yes, it is a special day of course. Also keep in mind it tends to be more of a 'hallmark' holiday than one that tends to be more official. Having the celebration 'on that day' alone isn't needed. We should be celebrating 'parent' days all year long IMO.
Sometimes its easier to schedule things for families in this circumstance on special days like this, and I assume the money isn't there to have the entire family come? Schedule conflict or what not.
To me this really isn't a 'leave and cleave' type of deal. A family should be able to pick a special day NOT according to the Hallmark calendar, and give her WORKS! lol Mom's and Dad's should have this quarterly! If the man is living in your home, and helping you parent your family? He already 'left and is cleaving'...Seriously!
This Mother's day is going to be hard for me personally, and I will be spending it with his family. My mother is in the final stages of dementia, and I won't be doing that day anymore for her. I will go and spend time at her facility, and give her chocolate. She won't know I'm doing it because I love her, and appreciate her as a mom. I will do it to honor her, because God also asks us to...and because I want to as well.
Keep in mind chances are very good you will have PLENTY of Mother's Day ahead of you, and no competition once your MIL in gone. Try to keep it in prospective...I doubt very much he wants to go there to hurt you in any way. No doubt he wants to honor you both, but in different ways. Show him how he can do that! I mean both of you are very special to him no doubt!
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CounselorForChrist
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(copied from my answer to this in other section)
No. We all love our mothers and siblings. But to me the order is God, Wife, Kids, Other family, Friends. I'd be offended as a mother and wife. He could always call her, send her a card...etc. Picking you should be an easy choice.
My dad means well but when its mother days he makes my mom go to brunch with his mother and the other aunts instead of giving her, her own special brunch...etc for the two of them. Well or with me too obviously.
Does this mean he is never allowed to see her on mothers day? Of course not. But you should always be the priority over his mother.
No. We all love our mothers and siblings. But to me the order is God, Wife, Kids, Other family, Friends. I'd be offended as a mother and wife. He could always call her, send her a card...etc. Picking you should be an easy choice.
My dad means well but when its mother days he makes my mom go to brunch with his mother and the other aunts instead of giving her, her own special brunch...etc for the two of them. Well or with me too obviously.
Does this mean he is never allowed to see her on mothers day? Of course not. But you should always be the priority over his mother.
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Avniel
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I don't know I would rather use me energy to celerbrate my wife as a mother vs my mom as a mother. I think it's important for fathers to show mothers they are appreciated.
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Luther073082
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Does he do this every mother's day or is this a one time thing?
I think there might be an issue if this is every mother's day. But if this only occurs every couple of years or so. Gosh let the man see his mother.
Why do some Christians seem to think that leaving and cleaving means you don't get to spend time with your family on special days if you have the ability to go see them??
I think there might be an issue if this is every mother's day. But if this only occurs every couple of years or so. Gosh let the man see his mother.
Why do some Christians seem to think that leaving and cleaving means you don't get to spend time with your family on special days if you have the ability to go see them??
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I agree with this 100%...
Though it would be best if the whole family could spend it together, multiple generations of women all together. That's how it was in my family. It would be an inter-generational lady date.
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Niffer
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Yup, that's how we do it!
Actually the Fathers on my side of the family, (so dad, my hubby, my bil etc) are all getting together to make dinner for the "Moms" and us girls get together to make dinner for the "Dads" on Fathers day.
~ Niff
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That's how we have done it some years.Just had a party with many mothers.
For me that's the confusion I see for this hallmark date on the calendar.Who is supposed to be honoring who?And fathers day? My husband has always taken our children on mothers day to pick out something for me.Or he will take us all out to eat or both.Who is honoring me ? My husband or my children or both? Then I think both.Then I think well why then on mothers day when my children are grown would it then be I'm not the mother anymore for them to honor?I think if you look at it Biblically to even its a commandment to honor your mother and father.And of course that shouldn't need to be only on one day.BUT if a day is marked "mothers day" I would think that day is for children to make it some sort of priority to pay honor to their parents not for husbands to honor their wives.Not that they shouldn't especially to teach the children this is how its done.Or even if he wishes to honor you as the mother of HIS children.But when I think of mothers day as an adult and mother myself my primary goal or aim is to make sure to honor my mother and my husbands mother.The way its fixed now it seems the husband (or the wife on fathers day) is sort of in a position to honor his wife AND his mother.And it seems odd to me his actual mother (on mothers day) would be second to his wife.Its not Valentines day.Or your anniversary or her birthday.Its mothers day.
I'm just thinking if mothers day (or fathers day) isn't marked primarily for children to honor their parents but for husbands (and wives) primarily to honor their spouse then what day IS primarily for honoring your parents?And why do most the hallmark cards say "dear mommy or "mother " or mom" ?dear wife is there but its a smaller section.Maybe I should call Hallmark and ask them if it supposed to be this confusing.
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Yup, that's how we do it!
Actually the Fathers on my side of the family, (so dad, my hubby, my bil etc) are all getting together to make dinner for the "Moms" and us girls get together to make dinner for the "Dads" on Fathers day.
~ Niff
There ya go!
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Hetta
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When a family is all in one place, of course it is appropriate to all spend it together - celebrating all of the mothers in the generations. Wonderful. We did this too when we were all living in the same state. However, when people live at a distance, and an airplane flight is involved (as per the OP), which is more cost and more time, then I do find that to be extreme and unnecessary. Not every family can afford this in their budget, and it leaves the full responsibilty for which may be small children on the wife who stays at home. So where is her mother's day? Oh, she has to wait 20 years until the kids can take her out to dinner. That is no different to her saying on father's day - here - you have the kids, I am leaving for the weekend to see my dad. Many, many husbands would object most strongly to this, and yet it is only the same thing.
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Hetta, that was very well put! The husband would have a fit if you left him with the kids on "his" day to visit your day. When your married, it should be spent with your wife and kids if your mother is a distance away. Use family vacation during the summer to visit as a family.
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