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Leanna

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f U z ! o N said:
is it right to want someone who is almost like you in all ways? or should you have someone who is different than you?

It is never WRONG to want one thing or another. If you are *really* bothered by the joke thing, you can try to find a girl that thinks that stuff is hilarious. I would venture to say that girls who think that stuff is funny will be more difficult to find, but not impossible. But then you might have other issues, you know? So you have to think about whether that's a big thing to you, or a small thing.

I think similarities are helpful.... more important in the values/morality department than it is in the behavior department, if that makes sense. For example (heehee I always use an example, don't I?) if I wanted to be a stay at home mom and my husband wanted me to be a career woman-- that would be a problem! On the other hand, if I am loud and he is quiet... that is a difference that isn't as important and is easier to overcome.
 
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eatenbylocusts

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You should be similar in the important things like your religious views, money, values, etc. Are we still talking about the dirty jokes? I think as Christians we need to be careful about crossing this line. Is what you're doing building up or pulling down the church?
 
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sunshineray

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I like to think that a successful relationship comes when you balance each other. To me, this doesn't mean you have have to be complete opposites. For example, my boyfriend and I have a similar sense of humor, but I'm much more shy than he is... he's very in your face. I tame him a bit, and he make me a little more outgoing.

I also agree with eatenbylocusts where she says that it's important to share the similar values. But even here, I don't think you have to share ALL the same views, as long as you're both openminded. It's nice to have someone who will challenge your views and help you grow.
 
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invisiblebabe

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Similar personalities help a lot. Studies have found that "assortative mating," which is basically how people pick others that are similar to them in personality and beliefs, tends to be the process that forms the best marriages.

Mark and I are very similar in many ways, and we absolutely love it. We understand each other in a way that nobody else can.


kayli
22/F/INTJ
 
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Rin4Christ

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In important personality traits, you should align. At the same time, Look for someone who compliments your weaknesses.
For example on religion, my bf and I light up fairly well (some denomination issues, but not major). Personality and the kind of people we like as mutual friends- very similar. Similar interests too- science, sign language, etc.

On the other hand, cleaning is my weakness, but it is his strength. He is also much better at remembering dates and noticing details about every day things. We actually compliment each other in faith to is some ways. For me, My faith walk is very fellowship oriented, to him it is a very personal matter. together we are helping each other grow in the other area.
 
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invisiblebabe

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True true when I said that similar personalities are best, I meant similar in fundamental personality traits (particularly concrete vs abstract communication and way of thinking, as well as beliefs).

I have found someone who was too similar, haha, and he's a great friend but we probably wouldn't have been the best for each other romantically

Similarities + complementary qualities = best
 
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