Moral dilemma!

[desertmom]

We are 2 born again females.Before we came to know the Lord 15 years ago we had adopted a child together.When we were saved we seperated for a year but "sharing" a child like that didnt work for us.We prayed about it and decided to live our lives as friends rasing this child.God is good and 2 years after we moved in together we adopted another child.

We left our home country that year for great job oppertunity for my friend.We then decided that I would stay at home and raise the kids and she would support me.Her work involves a lot of travel and living as expats this just made sense.It has created some insecurity in me at times but we both know,if we live our life in Gods will,all will be well with us and out girls.

After 10 years in this country (way to long for an expat posting) she now got offered 2 jobs in different countries.Going home is not an option as there is no positions available.Refusing is not an option as expats have to move on.

One country has been ruled out because of visa issues for me.The only way to get me into the other one is on co-habitation or partner visa.

We always said we would never do this but now we are in a real difficult situation.We trust the Lord for answers and as we know who we are,we also know that there might be deception in our doing this.If no one asks if we have sex it will be fine as we will not have to lie.We are a family.Our kids are our kids.We have no problem proving that.

But I keep thinking,what would the Lord say about this?Our strange family have been toghether for 20 years now.We are actually so conservative and my kids are raized in God's truth.That He took our crooked lives and bad decisions and made something good happen.We havent had to make any moral compromizes over the years.God's grace in our lives have been endless.

What do we do now?

thanks for your input.

xxo

 

[Life2Christ]

You said you have been living as friends...where is the moral dilemma here?

 

[Radagast]

We are 2 born again females.Before we came to know the Lord 15 years ago we had adopted a child together.When we were saved we seperated for a year but "sharing" a child like that didnt work for us.We prayed about it and decided to live our lives as friends rasing this child.

It sounds like you are combining moral concerns with the benefit of your adopted children, who obviously need looking after.

The only way to get me into the other one is on co-habitation or partner visa.

We always said we would never do this but now we are in a real difficult situation.We trust the Lord for answers and as we know who we are,we also know that there might be deception in our doing this.If no one asks if we have sex it will be fine as we will not have to lie.We are a family.Our kids are our kids.We have no problem proving that.

You are a family. You've live in one house for 20 years. Many countries would give you a partner visa based on that.

In your shoes I'd take offence if anyone asked me about having sex.

 

[desertmom]

Sorry,maybe I havent made myself clear.I have no moral dilemma living as a family.It is different but we are committed to our kids.No problem here.

The issue is that the country involve says for partner visa you have to live together like a mariage,not of convenience.The point is we are not living like that.

If it is about picture together,christmas and birthday cards even a letter from my little one saying we shouldnt argue about cars (yes,we do disagree sometimes not often but the fancy new car that never got bought caused an argument about what is a need and what is a want..lol) everything will be fine and I should get the visa.

Should someone in an interview try to establish if this is a real same sex partnership and ask questions about such issues,we would either have to manipulate them away from a straight answer,tell the truth or lie.

And that is the moral dilemma.

xxo

 

[desertmom]

I feel just so devastated that we are in this position that we dont feel we have too many options about.We always believed that the Lord will send us somewhere we would be able to get visas without moral compromize.

O and the USA was the first country I talked about.The one we are not even considering anymore because they do not have any visa category I would fit in.

xxo

 

[Life2Christ]

Should someone in an interview try to establish if this is a real same sex partnership and ask questions about such issues,we would either have to manipulate them away from a straight answer,tell the truth or lie.

And that is the moral dilemma.

So in this country do they accept gay marriage?? Or legal partnerships? If only legal/civil arrangement you don't have to say anything. They will just assume the obvious. You only have to answer to God. You will not be lying if you say that you are in a partnership/family. Let people think what they want. Do you actually live with your partner or raise the kids in two different households?

 

[desertmom]

We live together,are like sisters and raise the kids together.

They do accept gay marriage,civil partnership and cohahitation that is basically for couples living together.But I figure,our situation is so unique no one that first hear of it can believe that we have given up relationships for kids...lol.

Of course,the life we live is our testemony and when people get to know us,they can see who we are.

The kids have dual citizenship in this country along with my friend.We never thought we would have to live there,just got it so they didnt have to go home if they didnt want to as adults.

We are praying about tnis and as we are in an evangelical church cannot as such discuss this problem with the pastor.It took him quite a few years to not frown when he saw us..lol.

We live a quiet life and understand people's reaction.If we werent us,we might have been seceptical of such an arrangement ourselves.

xxo

 

[Life2Christ]

I admire you, desertmom.

 

[desertmom]

Dont.Admire what the Lord has done in our lives.We are normal people battling normal issues and I sometimes do wish our life was just less complicated.

But boy oh boy did the Lord bless us in abundance over the years.Our girls are wonderfully balanced people and my oldest is at uni and in part time ministry.It is such a blessing and making the times that I felt ashamed trying to explain who I am worth every minute.

Please pray for us.

In Christ,always
xxo

 

[BFine]

Be honest and stand firm in your Christian faith,
live lives that are acceptable unto the Lord.
..even if it means you finding a different place to live.

Before I got my residency card for Canada, I spent the first
year and a half(or more) of our marriage flying back and forth between
the USA and Canada...miles between both homes: nearly four thousand.
It wasn't easy-- both me and my husband worked full time to cover
the expense of all that flying.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

We are 2 born again females.Before we came to know the Lord 15 years ago we had adopted a child together.When we were saved we seperated for a year but "sharing" a child like that didnt work for us.We prayed about it and decided to live our lives as friends rasing this child.God is good and 2 years after we moved in together we adopted another child.

We left our home country that year for great job oppertunity for my friend.We then decided that I would stay at home and raise the kids and she would support me.Her work involves a lot of travel and living as expats this just made sense.It has created some insecurity in me at times but we both know,if we live our life in Gods will,all will be well with us and out girls.

After 10 years in this country (way to long for an expat posting) she now got offered 2 jobs in different countries.Going home is not an option as there is no positions available.Refusing is not an option as expats have to move on.

One country has been ruled out because of visa issues for me.The only way to get me into the other one is on co-habitation or partner visa.

We always said we would never do this but now we are in a real difficult situation.We trust the Lord for answers and as we know who we are,we also know that there might be deception in our doing this.If no one asks if we have sex it will be fine as we will not have to lie.We are a family.Our kids are our kids.We have no problem proving that.

But I keep thinking,what would the Lord say about this?Our strange family have been toghether for 20 years now.We are actually so conservative and my kids are raized in God's truth.That He took our crooked lives and bad decisions and made something good happen.We havent had to make any moral compromizes over the years.God's grace in our lives have been endless.

What do we do now?

thanks for your input.

xxo

Although you're not the type of family that God intended, you and your friend became a family to orphans, just as Jesus became our savior.

You became a mother to the motherless.

He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Matthew 12:48-50

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Matthew 25:40

He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice."

Luke 8:21

Although married, George Muller 'adopted' many children and built and orphanage for them. God provided so many miracles for Muller and his orphans. Amy Carmichael never married but sacrificed herself for the sake of the children in India.

Is there perhaps anyway that you could get another visa? Perhaps, a working visa or a student visa? You could get working visa through a friend who could support you. Student visa is a bit expensive but it's also a good option too. Sometimes, you can just go into a trade school or a diploma program and learn up some skills to go and get hired in a good field.

You become God's 'mother and brothers' as Luke above had said when you follow Him and His works through faith and obedience.

Or perhaps your church could help you by offering you a job and signing you up for a visa?

 

[AmbryRye]

It sounds as if God is convicting you about lying or misleading. Lying is lying, you are right and lying by omission is still not right.

Your moral compass seems to be very well in tune to God. You are sensitive.

Sometimes we are faces with impossible decisions such as yours to see just how far we will go to live for God and remain in His Word.

What if neither option was the right one?

What if God has other plans for you?

Keep praying to remain in His Will and that His Will be revealed for you. If it is truly His plan for you to go to that country, He will make a way that will not force you to compromise your values - to do what He says is wrong.

 

[desertmom]

Hi
We are praying.This has just been my fear all my life that I've had to give to the Lord a million times since I was saved.We will not lie about who we are or so we have always said ( this has always been a challenge as we have been judged so often,and mostly by christians..lol) We need Gods blessing every day to keep going in this situation.It is not easy.

For sure I teach my kids lying by omission is still lying.Compromise is what allows people to slowly alow ourselves things that is actually against the Lords will.

Thinking about it,I keep praying that the Lord's will be done but I can and should ask Him for another way out.

This has been debated a lot with our friends,all born again christians,and everyone that knows us and our situation says the visa fits our description best.We have been a family like this for years and is this a partnership of convenience? Well,it is not convenient at all very often...lol. In applying for visas there is no allowances for the "different" but there is for so many sinful practices.

Where we live there's some companies that's too small to be sustainable but fronts for christian organizations to spread the word of the Lord in the region.How is that different?
If they didnt do it this way they wouldnt be able to be here at all.

I will keep praying that the Lord guides us to a right decision.We are so scared of consequinces of wrong ones on our lives but most of all on our childrens lives.The Lord knows and He cares.He will make the path straight for us,He knows what should happen.

Please pray for us.

xxo