Mixed Marriages...

CrystalBrooke · Jun 19, 2004

Excuse me for just one moment, last I checked I asked about race mixing, not religion mixing, can we please get back to the original question before someone gets terribly upset or offended. thank you

BjBarnett · Jun 19, 2004

BT said:
My father was baptised in the Catholic church when he was a few weeks old. He grew to reject the Catholic church. He died from a brain tumor last year. At his funeral the priest told the attendees that my father was in heaven because he was baptised as a child. The priest knew my father and knew that he had no use for catholics. I talked to him afterward about this teaching and he relayed to me exactly what I said in the post. The priest was, according to what you say, either a liar (which would not be possible now would it), or a false teacher (which would not be possible now would it).

So, no. I am not wrong. I know what is taught. I do not assume things, I was educated as a Catholic for 13 years. So please mind your own boards. This is not a debate forum and not the place for you to be trolling for arguments. Thank you

ok. this is the last ill say anything about it to avoid debate. but baptism by catholic doctrine does not guarantee you salvation.

BT · Jun 19, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
Excuse me for just one moment, last I checked I asked about race mixing, not religion mixing, can we please get back to the original question before someone gets terribly upset or offended. thank you

It's a deal. I apologize.

kua2u · Jun 19, 2004

Crystal71503I've always been taught that races shouldn't mix, blacks and whites in particular

**Crystal, isn't it great that we get to grow up and form our own opinions? My father, from the south, believed this also. The nano-second he got to heaven he found out he was oh-so-wrong. I see love as the standard; and it is color-blind. So investigate your own beliefs. Make friends of many different colors--see that they are all just like you and me, trying to make it thru this journey called life.

RED that's METhe biggest thing that most people will say that is does cause problems for any children that comes out of a mixed marriage. The children of mixed marriages sometimes don't fully feel like they fit in to either culture.

**Hi, Red! The problem aren't the children born of mixed marriages, the problem is some of our reactions to them. And that's a real shame. I've confronted folks saying a variety of the above. "I don't mind mixed marriages, but the kids suffer." Because that's a cop out. We need to make it hard for those who would treat these kids badly. But, I can tell you don't feel that way, Red. And I'm glad.

BTMy family held the same opinion as yours... that you should not "mix". Their reasoning was for the children. A few years later my cousin married a black man. A year or two after that, he was so incredibly special to us all, one of the greatest human beings that I have ever met to this day.
BT, HI! You are truly blessed by your cousin! And I'm really sorry to hear your dad died.

Red and yellow black or white, they are precious in His sight. JC loves the little children of the world!

Wow, I'm soooooo glad too!

TexasCatholic · Jun 20, 2004

ufonium2 said:
I've heard this all my life, and lived throughout the south all my life, and I think it's bogus. From what I have seen, and from what black friends who moved here from the north have told me, there is a lot more interaction between races in the south, and a lot less voluntary segregation. I had a new coworker move to TN from Chicago last year, and he was shocked that office cliques weren't divided on racial lines. He was even more shocked when I asked him out to dinner...in Mississippi. It took the whole car ride there to convince him that we weren't gonna get stared at or worse, and of course we didn't.

A lot of it is economic. For instance, Mississippi has the most thoroughly integrated schools in America, primarily because there's not enough income to have private schools or "white flight."

I know the south has had more racial strife in the past, but that's just statistics. We have more racial interraction, so of course we're gonna have more problems. It's easy when you live in Vermont and you go days without seeing any minorities to talk about racial harmony and look down on the south because of racial discord. Over half my city's population is black. If you imported hundreds of thousands of minorities to Vermont, I doubt they'd be holding hands and singing "We are the world" from the get-go, either.

Excellent point! *HIGH FIVE*

I recently visited Missouri, and at a busy movie theater full of hundreds of people and teenagers, I didn't see a single person there who wasn't white. Sure you can talk about how great the races get along when you have no one to not get along with!

-James

TexasCatholic · Jun 20, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
of course being baptist i dont agree with everything they do, but we dont fuss about it. he even goes to church with me, and ive agreed to go with him (because i love him) when my parents will allow it. we've talked about the children and christening and he said that we didnt have to because as far as he understands its "reccomended" by the catholic church, and he knows that we dont believe in it at all, but i told him if we had 2 kids that we would christen one for him i think that love will set aside any differences we may have. His grandparents were just like us, his papaw was Catholic and his mamaw was baptist, they got along just fine. (still not offended )

But back to race mixing, i used to think it was wrong just because my parents said so, but as ive come to think for my self as i got older, i was having trouble really seeing anything wrong with it. I live in southeast ky so needless to say race mixing is looked down upon. but i dont agree, god made all men..equal.

Last thing I will say about this (to get the thread back on track, please PM me if you'd like to discuss further): You have no idea what you're in store for. A Catholic Mass is in an entirely different universe than what you know as "church". How old is this person you're dating? You're only 16, I assume that he's close to your age?

I suggest going with to Mass *now* so that you can understand what I mean. Also, as mentioned, it is not a Catholic "choice". If the Catholic church is to "bless" or "recognize" a marriage the Catholic involved must solemnly promise to do (and these are the exact words I've heard are to be included) "EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER" to raise their kids Catholic. From birth onward.

You're young anyway. IMO marriage shouldn't be a concern for you until you're at least 21 (and preferably until you've got a Bachelor's degree from college), but it is something you should be aware of early on. Love doesn't conquer all.

-James

daveleau · Jun 20, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
I've always been taught that races shouldn't mix, blacks and whites in particular. My family is not racist by no means, they just think that it's best if people don't mix in marriage. But what about people who are half black and half white. And what about other races, is seems to me that mixing is only looked down upon when a white and black mix, but what about mexican, japanese, chinese...ect.. Thoughts?

Well, I was raised with this drilled into my head as well. Once I grew up, I realized that the Bible does not say that interracial marriage is wrong. There's really no theological reason why we should not intermarry. There are cultural issues that are a barrier, but I do not see why we should let that get in the way if God's person for us is of another race. I married someone of my own race and do not have any interracial couples in my family of any type. Well, unless you count our heritage which has some Cherokee Indian in it. It causes societal issues because of the culture differences, but other than that there is nothing wrong, IMO, with interracial marriage.

Asar'el · Jun 20, 2004

There are no 'races'

From the confession of faith I follow, three things about marriage (and mixing, in a sense):

Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband, at the same time

It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent. Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord. And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters: neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are notoriously wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresies.

Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden by the Word. Nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.

The color of skin, or the look of a person, or other things commonly associated with 'race' are man's distinction; God, we are told in Acts 17:26, ...hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth...

num_me_vexo · Jun 21, 2004

why shouldnt races mix? i am the product of two races mixing so to me its very natural. my parents have always told me that i can marry whoever i want, that includes religion. when i got saved i learned that god warns us agaisnt marrying others of a diferent faith but i dont know that it says anything about different races. what about queen ester then? she was jewish and she married the king of babylon(i think:S)the only thing i would be careful about in mixed marriages is the serious issue of international child abductions. there are thousands of children who have been abducted by one of their parents and taken to their native country. other than that i see no problem in mixing races.

Frankie · Jun 21, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
of course being baptist i dont agree with everything they do, but we dont fuss about it. he even goes to church with me, and ive agreed to go with him (because i love him) when my parents will allow it. we've talked about the children and christening and he said that we didnt have to because as far as he understands its "reccomended" by the catholic church, and he knows that we dont believe in it at all, but i told him if we had 2 kids that we would christen one for him i think that love will set aside any differences we may have. His grandparents were just like us, his papaw was Catholic and his mamaw was baptist, they got along just fine. (still not offended )

But back to race mixing, i used to think it was wrong just because my parents said so, but as ive come to think for my self as i got older, i was having trouble really seeing anything wrong with it. I live in southeast ky so needless to say race mixing is looked down upon. but i dont agree, god made all men..equal.

Hi Crystal. I know this a bit off topic but I am very concerned and feel that I should say a few things out of love to you as a sister in Christ.

I notice by your screen name that you are only 16 years old. I pray to God that you are not seriously concidering marrying someone that you are dating at age 16. Marriage is hard work, even in the very best of situations it is something that should not be thought of or entered into lightly. It is a HUGE commitment and by huge, I mean HUGE!!!!! Dating is easy, marriage is work. I am not trying to make it sound like marriage is terrible because it can be wonderful. However, it comes with many ups and downs and peaks and valleys. I promise you; no matter how "mature" you are as a 16 year old, you really have no idea what marriage is all about. From what you have said, you seem to believe that love can conquer all. I agree that the love Jesus has conquers all but we are humans and we are selfish and greedy and when put to the test in marriage, we more often then not, do not express that same love. Most people who have divorced would tell you that going into their marriage, they thought that love could overcome their differences yet they ended up divorced.

You are only 16, you have years ahead of you. If I can give you any wise council, it would be to go to collage and get a degree before you settle down into a marriage commitment. And even more than that, I would encourage you to date more than just one person while you are just 16. You are very young to be dating one person exclusively.

I hope I have not made you angry, that is not my intention. Everything I have said, I say out of concern. Please consider what I have said and know that it was said with a spirit of sisterhood.

God Bless,
Frankie

BjBarnett · Jun 21, 2004

Frankie said:
Hi Crystal. I know this a bit off topic but I am very concerned and feel that I should say a few things out of love to you as a sister in Christ.

I notice by your screen name that you are only 16 years old. I pray to God that you are not seriously concidering marrying someone that you are dating at age 16. Marriage is hard work, even in the very best of situations it is something that should not be thought of or entered into lightly. It is a HUGE commitment and by huge, I mean HUGE!!!!! Dating is easy, marriage is work. I am not trying to make it sound like marriage is terrible because it can be wonderful. However, it comes with many ups and downs and peaks and valleys. I promise you; no matter how "mature" you are as a 16 year old, you really have no idea what marriage is all about. From what you have said, you seem to believe that love can conquer all. I agree that the love Jesus has conquers all but we are humans and we are selfish and greedy and when put to the test in marriage, we more often then not, do not express that same love. Most people who have divorced would tell you that going into their marriage, they thought that love could overcome their differences yet they ended up divorced.

You are only 16, you have years ahead of you. If I can give you any wise council, it would be to go to collage and get a degree before you settle down into a marriage commitment. And even more than that, I would encourage you to date more than just one person while you are just 16. You are very young to be dating one person exclusively.

I hope I have not made you angry, that is not my intention. Everything I have said, I say out of concern. Please consider what I have said and know that it was said with a spirit of sisterhood.

God Bless,
Frankie

jee thanks for building up marriage with me Franke jk lol

btw im the "Catholic in Question" here.

Frankie · Jun 21, 2004

BjBarnett said:
jee thanks for building up marriage with me Franke jk lol

btw im the "Catholic in Question" here.

Then what I said to Crystal, applies to you also.

God Bless,
Frankie

TexasCatholic · Jun 21, 2004

Frankie said:
Hi Crystal. I know this a bit off topic but I am very concerned and feel that I should say a few things out of love to you as a sister in Christ.

I notice by your screen name that you are only 16 years old. I pray to God that you are not seriously concidering marrying someone that you are dating at age 16. Marriage is hard work, even in the very best of situations it is something that should not be thought of or entered into lightly. It is a HUGE commitment and by huge, I mean HUGE!!!!! Dating is easy, marriage is work. I am not trying to make it sound like marriage is terrible because it can be wonderful. However, it comes with many ups and downs and peaks and valleys. I promise you; no matter how "mature" you are as a 16 year old, you really have no idea what marriage is all about. From what you have said, you seem to believe that love can conquer all. I agree that the love Jesus has conquers all but we are humans and we are selfish and greedy and when put to the test in marriage, we more often then not, do not express that same love. Most people who have divorced would tell you that going into their marriage, they thought that love could overcome their differences yet they ended up divorced.

You are only 16, you have years ahead of you. If I can give you any wise council, it would be to go to collage and get a degree before you settle down into a marriage commitment. And even more than that, I would encourage you to date more than just one person while you are just 16. You are very young to be dating one person exclusively.

I hope I have not made you angry, that is not my intention. Everything I have said, I say out of concern. Please consider what I have said and know that it was said with a spirit of sisterhood.

God Bless,
Frankie

I agree w/ Frankie. I work with high school students. About 3,200 of them to be exact... And we were all once that age. Nobody is mature enough at 16 to get married. I wasn't, Frankie wasn't and you're not Crystal.

Though, I'm not sure she's really planning that at this point, I hope it is just a "long distance future" consideration. I had already mentioned, that I think it's important for everyone to complete their basic education, which for most includes a Bachelor's Degree from college before taking marriage vows. Don't pick a college based on a boyfriend, and don't let a boyfriend keep you from finishing. You'll regret it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE if you do. Believe me, I know more people than I can count who have those deep regrets. You can't go back in time.

Also, I agree that God's love conquers all, and as I already stated, I don't think our imperfect human love conquers all. I'm sorry to say, it does not. You shouldn't be marrying someone if there's something major that needs "conquering" IMO... There's someone better suited to you out there that God has planned for you.

-James

CrystalBrooke · Jun 22, 2004

Frankie said:
Hi Crystal. I know this a bit off topic but I am very concerned and feel that I should say a few things out of love to you as a sister in Christ.

I notice by your screen name that you are only 16 years old. I pray to God that you are not seriously concidering marrying someone that you are dating at age 16. Marriage is hard work, even in the very best of situations it is something that should not be thought of or entered into lightly. It is a HUGE commitment and by huge, I mean HUGE!!!!! Dating is easy, marriage is work. I am not trying to make it sound like marriage is terrible because it can be wonderful. However, it comes with many ups and downs and peaks and valleys. I promise you; no matter how "mature" you are as a 16 year old, you really have no idea what marriage is all about. From what you have said, you seem to believe that love can conquer all. I agree that the love Jesus has conquers all but we are humans and we are selfish and greedy and when put to the test in marriage, we more often then not, do not express that same love. Most people who have divorced would tell you that going into their marriage, they thought that love could overcome their differences yet they ended up divorced.

You are only 16, you have years ahead of you. If I can give you any wise council, it would be to go to collage and get a degree before you settle down into a marriage commitment. And even more than that, I would encourage you to date more than just one person while you are just 16. You are very young to be dating one person exclusively.

I hope I have not made you angry, that is not my intention. Everything I have said, I say out of concern. Please consider what I have said and know that it was said with a spirit of sisterhood.

God Bless,
Frankie

I'm not angry at all Thank you for looking out for me I've known this boy for 8 years, next month will be a year that we've been dating. I do not want to date anyone else...AT ALL!! Everyone's told me youre young you need to date more than one person, but this is the best one ive found yet and i'm not letting go lol. other guys around here that are my age are either non-christan, drink, do drugs, just want you to have sex with, or they are dating someone. and even if the guys around here were better, i would never break up with Ben. as for the marriage thing, you act as if im gonna get married now! are you kidding, im not getting married at 16!!! lol I know girls my age who got married and pregnant and it ruined their lives, i learn from other people's mistakes. especially my moms, she had a bad first marriage which i am the product of (lucky me lol jk) but i know whats its like, not exactly, but i know its hard work, i know there are ups and downs, i live around married people lol. thanks so much for the comments. I'll think about the marriage thing tho since your so nice!!

CrystalBrooke · Jun 22, 2004

Can we get back to the subject on the OP, unless someone else would really like to comment on why I shouldnt marry my Catholic boyfriend, I guess that's ok, I dont think that this thread will ever stay on the origianl subject matter anyways...lol but thats ok!

SumTinWong · Jun 22, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
I've always been taught that races shouldn't mix, blacks and whites in particular. My family is not racist by no means, they just think that it's best if people don't mix in marriage. But what about people who are half black and half white. And what about other races, is seems to me that mixing is only looked down upon when a white and black mix, but what about mexican, japanese, chinese...ect.. Thoughts?

Hi Crystal!
I gotta tell you alot of people either Christian or not still to this day are racist, in their idea of who should marry whom. In every race you will find those who believe that race mixing is wrong. I don't know why this is, but it is not in my opinion very Christian like.

SumTinWong · Jun 22, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
Can we get back to the subject on the OP, unless someone else would really like to comment on why I shouldnt marry my Catholic boyfriend, I guess that's ok, I dont think that this thread will ever stay on the origianl subject matter anyways...lol but thats ok!

I guess that choice would be up to you, but I think (if i am wrong correct me in this please) for you to marry a Catholic, you must agree to raise your kids Catholic. So you have to make that choice for yourself.

Sorry back to the OP.

CrystalBrooke · Jun 22, 2004

Lollard said:
I guess that choice would be up to you, but I think (if i am wrong correct me in this please) for you to marry a Catholic, you must agree to raise your kids Catholic. So you have to make that choice for yourself..

I guess we'll stay on this topic lol. i dont have to agree to raise our kids catholic, they are supposed to do everything in their power to see that the children are raised catholic, and if they are a devout catholic then they are going to, my bf is in the process of converting to catholicism, but he said that we do not have to raise our kids catholic, but i know that would be completly unfair to him, so we'll comprimise on that. I dont know how because kids are a long ways from now. any one else like to give me any advice?

BjBarnett · Jun 22, 2004

Crystal71503 said:
I guess we'll stay on this topic lol. i dont have to agree to raise our kids catholic, they are supposed to do everything in their power to see that the children are raised catholic, and if they are a devout catholic then they are going to, my bf is in the process of converting to catholicism, but he said that we do not have to raise our kids catholic, but i know that would be completly unfair to him, so we'll comprimise on that. I dont know how because kids are a long ways from now. any one else like to give me any advice?

lol yes why are we even discussing kids right now? thats looking pretty far into the future hehe

CrystalBrooke · Jun 22, 2004

just so everyone knows, the catholic you dont want me to marry is BjBarnett.

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