InTheFlame said:
A question for people who've experienced a miscarriage...
How, as a christian, did you grieve and cope? What did you say to other christians?
We (husband and I) went through a mc a couple of weeks ago. We're grieving, but life seems to be relatively normal again. Our church has been very supportive and loving.
I suppose I'm looking for others' experiences and stories...
Well I miscarried on April of this year and I thought that I was coping fairly well, until I found out that I was pregnant again. I guess I wasn't ready or I hadn't finished grieving. I have a hard time adjusting to thie baby, because I was so attatched to the one I lost, I am terrified of losing this baby, but at the same time I am terrified of becoming attached to this baby.
When talking to other christians about losing Corey, I would tell them that I knew my baby was in heaven waiting for me and that he/she would be watching over his/her little brothers and sisters. And I firmly believe this to be true, and I also feel that Corey is helping me in this pregnancy.
I will tell you that the doctors may have said that you can try again after about a month or two after haveing the miscarriage, but I would wait a little longer, because for me I thought the grieving was done, and I am finding out 4 months into this pregnancy that I wasn't done grieving.
Some things that I did to, I don't know, cope? Were that I took an old cradle that my mother had and refinished it and painted it, and I wrote a letter to Corey, telling him/her that I will always remember him/her. It helps to talk to other women who have miscarried, I have found out that it is a very common thing for women to have had happen to them. I would suggest trying to find a support group, I sadly didn't do that and am afraid that if I do they wouldn't like me because I am pregnant again.
I wil be praying for you and your husband, this is a hard time but there is always a bright spot in the future. My mother, bless her heart, told me, "This may seem like the darkest of dark times, but remember your child is your angel now." So I guess I will say it to you.
Here is what I wrote to Corey, maybe it will help you heal.
My Dearest Corey,
I only knew you for a few weeks, but in that time I learned to love you and want to see you. Your father and I were so looking forward to holding you in our arms come November, but that isn't going to come. I take comfort in the fact that you are with the wonderful God that I serve, I take comfort in the fact that you are not alone there, you are with your cousin that was to be born around the time that I lost you. I love you so much my dear sweet one. When we found out that you were no longer with us, we were so upset and terrified, confused and angery. I just want you to know that you are loved so much. Soon we will find out what could be answers to our questions, but even if we do not find anything out, just know that you will always be in our hearts.
When we have other children we will tell them about you. You were our first child and therefore our most dearest child. I just wish that time could go backwards and we could have you back with us. I know that that will never be possible so I will just wait until we are reunited in Heaven. I don't know how long that will be but I know that you will be well taken care of. You have lots of family there with you now. And I know that you are going to be watching over your father and me. I am so happy that you are in a wonderful place and I am so pleased that God chose for you to be with him. I don't know what trials and tribulations we are going to go through here on earth, but I know that you will be looking out for us. I will always carry you in my heart and I will always love you. I will never forget about you.
I love you so very much,
Mommy.