Ministry Help

[jwsiii]

I need help. I have a friend that needs me to minister to him really badly and I'm not sure exactly how to do it. He and his girlfriend fight a lot and he told me that he would probably kill himself if he lost her. They are both atheists. There is hard evidence such as prophecy fulfilled that I can show him to convince him the the Bible is true, but he's probably not going to care. He's going to want to know how it helps him with his problems and I don't know what to tell him. I want to help him really badly. If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them.

 

[jwsiii]

Another thing, part of his problem is controlling his anger.

 

[chmi]

Pray. Pray. Pray some more. Don't try to fix him, only the Holy Spirit can do that. As you said the arguement and counterarguement route is not usually effective. Best approach is to share with him God's love. Maybe offer a gospel of John in version he can and will read. Whatever your perference in version the fact is that if the way the message is worded turns him off he will not read it and will not be blessed by it. I like kjv but someone who panics at the flow and the older English words isn't blessed by it at least until they know the author...similarly if his 1st reading language were not English you'd want to get him a version in the language he reads best. Encourage him to ask God to show him His love in a way he can understand.

If he is not immediately open to the gospel and maybe even if he is encourage an individual and/or a couples counselor. If the threat of suicide seems to be more than just talk to control her he needs immediate help. This can be offered in terms of helping him/them work things out so the relationship works. Do some advanced homework. Ids there a Chrstian counselor in your area who also counsels people who are not yet Christian? Where is the nearest community mental health center? What are their requirements? Who in the area is a competent couples counselor? Does that person counsel people who have serious personal issues as well? Costs? Is help available on ability to pay basis? What insurances are accepted. Do you know someone who has benefited from counseling? If so you can share how it helped them. If not read up on this so you can say you were reading aout this and thought it could help.

prayer prayer and more prayer.

 

[ChrisOSX]

I'd recommend meeting with him weekly, perhaps more often if the matter is extreme and urgent. Pick a time you can devote about an hour with him, just the two of you. Someplace public so that he's comfortable, but private enough that you can both share without worrying about people getting freaked out or offended, or there being too many distractions or noise.

Each week, spend time just talking about whatever comes naturally. If you pray before hand, the Holy Spirit will provide opportunity during your discussions for you to share enough of your faith and God's love that he won't feel overwhelmed but enough that the message is getting home. Develop a trust relationship with him.

Ultimately, you need to show him that his life is worth more than any casual or serious relationship with another human being. His life is worth having God the creator of the entire universe to send his only son to die for your friends sins. Deity became man, lived as a man, suffered and died as a man, and rose again all specifically for your friend. He has value, and he can understand and experience a love so much greater than anything a human can offer.

 

[God's cheergirl]

wow! well i would definatly pray, and watch yourself around him. no matter what, people are always go to be watching you when they know that you're a christian and so its really important that your actions reflect your values. i know how hard it is, i strugle constently with it. ....but about your friend saying he would kill himself, if it were me in your shoes i would so be telling my youth minister. him and i are really really close, and if you have a youth misister, or mentor, or somone you go to for spititual guidence, this would be the time to ask for help!

 

[ceres]

I've seen this a lot in younger people's relationships. I assume they have had sex, and that forms the a very strong soul tie on top of the other things they may have had in common when they first got together. They are most likely co-dependent, each depending on the other for a part of their own personality or self. Without one another they would be incomplete. This is a very hard situation to be in. There are a lot of different things I could say. If they break up the worst stage is withdrawl, and then from there it gets better. They begin to see there is hope.

This was written about people separating from lovers(affairs), but your friend will experience that same deep feeling of pain: "Withdrawal is the emotional reaction to the loss of something that gives great pleasure. It's similar to the feelings an alcoholic has when he makes a commitment never to drink again. It's also similar to the grief that comes from the loss of a loved one. Our most common emotions are anger, anxiety and depression. Symptoms of withdrawal usually include all of these in a very intense form. I usually suggest that anti-depressant medication be used to help alleviate these symptoms. While the most intense symptoms of withdrawal usually last only about three weeks, in some cases they can linger for six months or longer before they start to fade." (Dr. Harley, www.marriagebuilders.com)

So, it depends on how seriously torn up your friend is. Mostly, just be there. Let him have someone to talk to. Is there a pastor or someone older that he could talk to? They would have a good listening ear, maybe some good advice, and stability that comes only with experience. If he is very serious maybe anti-depressants would help...