My hubby just recently turned 30. IMO 30 isn't mid-life or old by any means. He says that the guys are teasing him about getting older and his belly that is barely round. He is not overweight. (I'd love him even if he was!) I tell him he is great the way he is and that we have years to look forward to. He kisses me and says "I know", but he is still bothered by this. Does anyone have any advice on how to help get him over this slump? I am confused and honestly I don't understand Y he feels this way.
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mid-life crisis?
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allieisme
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I agree 30 isnt old by any means.. My husband will be 35 in October and he too thinks his belly is getting rounder.. But he just thinks he has to work out a little bit more.. How old are the guys that are teasing your husband about his age?
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We usually think of women having problems with turning 30, 40, ect. As a man I know turning 40 was really tough on me. My wife and I are the same age, so we go through the "milestone" years within a few months of each other. Are you and your husband about the same age? I would just say give him lots of love and attention and his insecurities will pass. God Bless You.
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HeatherJay
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My husband was 33 on his last birthday and he did the same way. Not so much a depression or anything, but he's more concerned about his belly and noticing a few gray hairs (we've named those hairs Emily and Eden after our little girls 
). My husband is so silly sometimes. He runs 3 miles 3 or 4 times a week on his lunch break (he's also concerned about his cholesterol) and he looks great to me. I mean, yes, he was in better shape when we met, but so was I!! And when I look at him, I still see the man I married, even if he has gained about 20 pounds since then. Okay, rambling...on to some advice.
I would say feed his ego. Go out of your way to tell him how sexy you think he is, even if you're just joking around with him. Hearing that YOU still find him attractive will have the same effect on him that it has on us when they tell us how great we look. I think if you reassure him he'll get over it. Just wait till those gray hairs start popping up....or falling out...YIKES!
Love, Heather
PS Try telling him when you go out somewhere that you saw that cutesy little cashier checking him out...lol...feign jealousy....call her a trollop if you must....lol...yes it's sneaky, but it works on my husband whenever he's feeling a little insecure. It's one thing to still be attractive to us, their wives, we love them...knowing that others still notice their looks might help him too (even if you have to make up a little tall tale). No, I'm not suggesting that you lie...hopefully you know what I mean. Dang, long PS, huh?
). My husband is so silly sometimes. He runs 3 miles 3 or 4 times a week on his lunch break (he's also concerned about his cholesterol) and he looks great to me. I mean, yes, he was in better shape when we met, but so was I!! And when I look at him, I still see the man I married, even if he has gained about 20 pounds since then. Okay, rambling...on to some advice.I would say feed his ego. Go out of your way to tell him how sexy you think he is, even if you're just joking around with him. Hearing that YOU still find him attractive will have the same effect on him that it has on us when they tell us how great we look. I think if you reassure him he'll get over it. Just wait till those gray hairs start popping up....or falling out...YIKES!
Love, Heather
PS Try telling him when you go out somewhere that you saw that cutesy little cashier checking him out...lol...feign jealousy....call her a trollop if you must....lol...yes it's sneaky, but it works on my husband whenever he's feeling a little insecure. It's one thing to still be attractive to us, their wives, we love them...knowing that others still notice their looks might help him too (even if you have to make up a little tall tale). No, I'm not suggesting that you lie...hopefully you know what I mean. Dang, long PS, huh?
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The age of thirty IS a critical point for males. For those who follow athletics, it is the realization that even if we worked out tails off, we are now too old to "make it" as a pro athlete. For us, a dream is coming to an end.
In addition, we are no longer 20ish. We are now in a new demographic. We are now in the 30 somethings.
In reality, this can be a real problem for some men and should not be made fun of by their wife or girlfriend. (or both) just kidding!!!!!!!
Let him be. Don't talk to him directly about it. Encourage him and complement him in subtle ways. "Wow, look at those biceps" when he picks up something. Stuff like that. Let him know that just cause he isn't 20, he isn't valuable and attractive.
Peace.
Peter
In addition, we are no longer 20ish. We are now in a new demographic. We are now in the 30 somethings.
In reality, this can be a real problem for some men and should not be made fun of by their wife or girlfriend. (or both) just kidding!!!!!!!
Let him be. Don't talk to him directly about it. Encourage him and complement him in subtle ways. "Wow, look at those biceps" when he picks up something. Stuff like that. Let him know that just cause he isn't 20, he isn't valuable and attractive.
Peace.
Peter
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The guys who are teasing him are his age or older than him. I think their teasing is meant in a way as welcome to the club? He is 5 yrs older than I am so we are not really that far apart in age.
I love all of you. You all are so nice when giving advice on sensitive issues. I'm going to try all of your suggestions. Thanx for caring.
I love all of you. You all are so nice when giving advice on sensitive issues. I'm going to try all of your suggestions. Thanx for caring.
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water_ripple said:
Shoot him
I turned 30 in August and I'd been asking my wife to put me down for weeks before that dark day, and several times since
Honestly, I think Heather's advice is fantastic... how can I get it to my wife! :?
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Hmm...I don't like 30. It's not the belly or that stuff so much. It's that I can look back on the life I have lived so far and I haven't got anything to show for it. Now, I've got a heck of a wife. But as far as my life I haven't done anything with it. I feel like I've been one big waste. Oh if I could have my 20's back again. But it's gone. I'm trying like crazy to "catch up." I graduate this year and then it's off to seminary. But I should be done with all of this. All my friends have bought houses and are settling down and having kids. I'm not ready to do that yet. I feel like my life has been such a waste. I feel like my wife deserves more than this.
This is why 30 sucks for me.
This is why 30 sucks for me.
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frankly that makes me angry that you would say that... I dont know you that well and from what I have heard you have accomplished alot... you have a great wife.. (I had the chance to chat with her time to time on the CB) you have almost completed a huge mile stone and have made an awesome choice of going into the ministry. what does money and power mean to God when you are sitting with him in heaven for eternity. God will reward you far more than any job or position of respect.Mr.Cheese said:
as far as I am concerned you are a person that I respect and by the way you only have like 50 more years to live at least.....
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HeatherJay
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My husband didn't graduate college until he was 31. He went in the Marine Corps Reserves to earn money for school and then later went active duty in the Army. We were already married and had a child (actually I was 8 months pregnant with our second) when he finally graduated. I have nothing but respect and love for my husband who has worked so hard to give us a good life. I would bet a lot of money that your wife feels the same way. You're living your life for God and the only schedule you should worry about is His. Don't judge your life by what your friends have. Quality of life is not always to be judged by possessions. And a big house doesn't guarantee a happy marriage. You have a wife that loves the man you are...you're a luckier than a lot of men if you have that.
Love, Heather
Love, Heather
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