Michelle...send me the song!

Sorry folks....if this works, I don't think any of us will be too upset (well, maybe some). I'm kind of trying to hijack this part of the forum with this thread. THIS, from someone who's thought they were "normal" and just didn't understand anything that has been going on in this world or with the people around me and know's there's a solid truth out there that no one around me wants to see...or be. I can stay "on tract" enough for people to hear me....but not long enough for people to listen to me. They get a really funny look on their face and I panic. I know....supposedly those on the spectrum might not be able to pick it up from facial or body language....but I can feel it. Whether it's face to face, on the phone, or in a forum...reading how people are careful around me. It's like I scare them. I'm learning about the "whole ball of wax"...and how I can not understand what other people mean when they use that phrase sometimes...and how other people can't understand me when I use that phrase my way. (as an example.) Sometimes I feel like I'm just not speaking the same language...but I know I am. And though not perfect english...most of the time I'm using it better than they are.

I started looking into the spectrum a couple of days ago while praying about someone who is dealing with aspergers and being a teenager at the same time. I came across this part of the forum because I really wanted to understand more. (After staying away from Christianforums for a long time because I didn't feel like I was being understood and I got really tired of people reading into what I was saying instead of taking it at face value). I found myself reading a thread in this forum about "normals" and I really had to wonder if anybody is truely "normal". I understand that there is a clinical diagnosis of the "problem" (please read sarcasm there...because I'm really wondering!) but I really wonder, after all of my wonderings about "life, the universe, and everything" (and other people who I really don't get and who don't get me) if "normal" isn't just a bunch of rubbish that everyone tries to be....and how free we could be (indeed) if we didn't buy into it so much and stopped trying to be it and just got into what God intended us to be.
So, if all goes well there might be a really good conversation here and a REAL "meeting of the minds"....here's where I left off on the conversation from when the phone died.

[quote/]
Hi,
Send me the song.
Happy "Holidays"...I'm dealing with a sister who has decided she is going to convert to Judaism but (in the same breath) is VERY excited about having Christmas at her house this year. In my weird way, I asked her how that works. I REALLY was trying to understand. That's all I had to do to get a "why are you doing this" response and all of a sudden I've really [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]ed her off. To date, I still don't understand completely....and add on top of that I don't understand how I got her upset with me. (This is where I wonder if I am SOMEWHERE on the spectrum...but I can think enough, maybe too much, to wonder if a) she's so ready for an arguement that she's sensative and kind of looking for it. b) she's so uncomfortable in her own decision that when faced with a question about it she lost it.)


I'm completely convinced we are all on the spectrum somewhere...especially after talking to you. Thing is...the words don't come because we're afraid of the reaction or because our thought processes are jumbled up because we waver between the world of truth (even if it hurts but free's us) or lies (even though they hurt others and we feel like ....what....that we're "normal" ....everyone does it, right???). Could it simply be a question of an alive conscience v/s one that has been seared? But then that takes it out of a biological realm into a spiritual one. BUT, if you throw in what you were explaining....the spiritual one does intermix with the biological. I think I've got it. But, what scares me is that that would open up the same door as dna testing to see if you're kid could be a serial killer. The whole genetics thing scares me that way....I'd rather look to nurture...but there has to be some biological part to it. I think it must cover all aspects of the individual [that] God mixed up and put on this planet. When you really think about it, there would have to be how many different possible combinations for each of us to be an individual soul. I really don't think He's a cookie cutter, mass producer! We're all His creation. That would also explain why there isn't any better "how to raise a child" book out there than the bible.

OK....so with the boys....
Wait...We could chat or use a forum to do this if you are able to get on line. I'm thinking this could actually be a lot of fun if we played around in the forum at christianforums.com . There would be other input. I've stayed away from the forums, pretty much, since 2004 or so because I am a "recovering forum addict"....so.... fair warning, right?

I'll keep checking my e-mail for a reply from you. I know you're busy....and were getting ready to sleep. I'm just on fire learning and thinking about all of this so I'm a little hyper. "
[/quote]
It's been so long since I posted I don't remember how to make the quotes...so like I have any room to .

Is this thread understandable to anyone???

Love & Peace,
Straightforward

"You may be right,
I may be crazy,
But it just may be a lunitic your looking for!
...
You may be wrong, for all I know, but you may be right.
...
Take me as I am..." (parts of) Billy Joel (I agree with)

Playing around with my "mood" here at CF...I must admit I'm somewhere between Pensive, Inspired, lurking, paranoid, and praying. I haven't been here for a little while...I know the person I wanted to join me here is probably way far away in dream land. There have been 6 other people who looked at this post and no reply. I guess I should add desperate (although, if it was on the choices for "mood" I didn't see it).

oh...yeehaw

Thanks...Joris
I was hoping that a friend of mine would get into this forum and keep a conversation going. As I've identified with many traits it's been useful in understanding myself and the world around me. I've always been a strong person...it turned into a kind of independent thinker thing. Most people might not see me as Aspergers....they just wouldn't understand me. Musicians like Howard Jones (even though I now know he's a humanist and a little off from what I believe) got me through the '80's....it was ok to be different and kind of cool to not be understood. (Shaking off those chains like shaking off how people react to me when I don't understand why they react to me the way they do.) But as I've grown up I didn't understand why people didn't see me grow up. They still look at me as weird because they just don't understand how I think. And I don't understand how they think.

There wasn't actually a question involved...It's just good to know I'm not the only one.

Thank you for your reply.

I can't really complain if no one understands my post...I just got hyper about finding a subject that I didn't think had a name, that does, that I've been trying to investigate for a long time in my own mind. I just kept calling it 'human nature'. There's just a scale for it called the spectrum that I hadn't known about before. It explains ALOT.

Oh...and yes...I have no question about how God looks at me. He made me this way! And I'm quite convinced He ALWAYS does things for a reason....even if we can only see it 'through the glass' in part right now! That's the only thing that's kept me alive!

Love and Peace,
Straightforward

joris said:

Uhm... I must admit, I find it a bit hard to reply - there's a lot of things you're writing out, and that's okay, just, now am not sure, what is your "question", (uhm and the title is kinda confusing)
Do you want to know whether you have something on the spectrum of AS? In that case, you need to get talking to a psychologe or someone, who could help indicate such.

I can tell... up until now, that AS diagnose I got, mostly helps to understand myself (why things are the way they are, why things are hard that seem not hard to others, communication/friendship, and such). Not that it made difficulties go away, but to me, it helped me in that I would kinda reject myself before I knew things about that, as me being less or stupid or whatever, when... it's just that AS part that's making things hard( er) to me

At the same time, it's most important to realise, God doesn't look at you as being less or "the aspie", or "not normal" or whatever - He looks at you in the same love He has for Jesus -- He looks at you like, at His precious daughter.
To God it isn't important (in the sence that He won't think less of you) whether you're anywhere on a spectrum of ASD or anything - but ofcourse He cares if that's making communicating a struggling to you.

Hope some in that is of any help to you, sorry am not sure of what to write

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