Mentors are Invaluable. Some Helpful Advice

[trinitygrace]

To everyone on this forum who struggles with self-injury, please never give up and never believe you can't beat this. This is a struggle, another hurdle in life that we all must and CAN overcome. One of the stepping stones to conquering this horrible thing is having a mentor. Someone who's older, whom you aren't related to and who's actively involved in church and is a solid, trustworthy Christian. Someone of the same sex who's been through what you are going through can be a saving grace in times of torment when you are experiencing urges to cut. Yes, go to God. Go to your room, turn off the stereo and TV and bow your head to him. Cry and give Him all your pain. Tell him how bad it hurts and how you need his help. Pray that he sends you comfort and strength and calms your urge to keep hurting yourself. But I feel to really overcome this, having a mentor to call on can really be of priceless importance. They will be there to validate to you that you do not need to self-injure to feel relief. They will talk you out of it and give you reasons to love yourself for just the way you are. They will give you hope and strength when you don't have any. I am in the process of getting one myself, a strong Christian lady who's older and very active in her Christian walk. I hope this helps all of you and I pray yous can find a trustworthy loving individual who will care for you just like Jesus does. Please pm me if you need to chat.

In my prayers,
Love,
Trinity

 

[crazylittlep]

 

[goldenviolet]

Trinity thank you fort another help thread!
mentors and fellowship is very encouraging.

everyday God's word across your heart and prayer is valuable

 

[trinitygrace]

thanks for the advice. one question that is sort of not related. do your cuts itch really bad within the first week?

I haven't cut in a long time. I really haven't struggled with it like others who have on here, from the things I read. But yes, as I can remember, they did itch. I post on here because even though I only struggled with this a few times (Depression, OCD, and eating were and still are to some degree my issues), I know what it's like to get so down that the only thing that will take the inner pain away, is to bring out the physical pain. I pray for you, crazylittlep that you will find relief from this horrible thing. If you ever need to chat, pm me anytime.

Trinity

 

[Mayflower1]

Hi Trinity! Thanks for the words of encouragement!!! I myself, am trying really hard to stop. I don't cut twice a day anymore but I still cut two to three times a week. It is hard but with God all things are possible! Lily00

 

[trying2survive09]

That's really good advice. There's an amazing woman i have been talking to about some of the stuff, but i'm afraid to burden her with this. Plus i just found out that she and her husband are moving. It hurts so much, but i can't tell her that because she's doing so much. I couldn't stand to make her feel bad after all she's done. I'm just not sure if i'll be ready to stand on my own when she leaves.

 

[trinitygrace]

Hi Trinity! Thanks for the words of encouragement!!! I myself, am trying really hard to stop. I don't cut twice a day anymore but I still cut two to three times a week. It is hard but with God all things are possible! Lily00

Lily,

You have come so far! I am so happy for you!! Even though you haven't made it yet, just look at how far you've come. Praise God for this! I know you will make it Lily. I believe in you and am here for you ANYTIME you need to chat. You will be in my prayers always. And yes, you can do all things for Christ who strengthens you. (Phi 4:13). Trinity

 

[trinitygrace]

That's really good advice. There's an amazing woman i have been talking to about some of the stuff, but i'm afraid to burden her with this. Plus i just found out that she and her husband are moving. It hurts so much, but i can't tell her that because she's doing so much. I couldn't stand to make her feel bad after all she's done. I'm just not sure if i'll be ready to stand on my own when she leaves.

Welcome to CF TryingtoSurvive! It is great you had such an amazing woman to talk to who helped you through your struggles. But it's sad that she and her husband are moving away. Are they moving far? Could you still call on her without it being long distance? If she is moving far away, too far to visit, maybe you can still call her. Hearing her voice and encouraging words will still be invaluable in times of trouble when you need an ear to listen and someone to encourage you. I pray God sends you strength to get through this. In the meantime, after she moves, I would deifnitely keep in touch with her but also reach out to other members of my church family for support. You are not burdening them. If someone younger than me needed help, I'd be sure to give it to them and be happy to share my advice. You just have to ask, plus you will be helping them more than you know.

In his love,
Trinity

 

[trying2survive09]

Welcome to CF TryingtoSurvive! It is great you had such an amazing woman to talk to who helped you through your struggles. But it's sad that she and her husband are moving away. Are they moving far? Could you still call on her without it being long distance? If she is moving far away, too far to visit, maybe you can still call her. Hearing her voice and encouraging words will still be invaluable in times of trouble when you need an ear to listen and someone to encourage you. I pray God sends you strength to get through this. In the meantime, after she moves, I would deifnitely keep in touch with her but also reach out to other members of my church family for support. You are not burdening them. If someone younger than me needed help, I'd be sure to give it to them and be happy to share my advice. You just have to ask, plus you will be helping them more than you know.

In his love,
Trinity

Yeah, she's moving to another state. Luckily, I have free long distance on my cell phone. I'm actually meeting with her tomorrow and I'm going to talk to her about everything I'm feeling about her moving and come up with a plan on how we can stay in touch. I'm not sure who to ask or talk to next year. My church is going through some major changes and I'm not sure who all will actually be there next fall (I'm a college student so I'll be home for the summer). I know that the Bible says to take on the burdens of your brothers and sisters in Christ...I just don't like asking people to do that for me. I'm working on it though, lots of prayers .

 

[trinitygrace]

Yeah, she's moving to another state. Luckily, I have free long distance on my cell phone. I'm actually meeting with her tomorrow and I'm going to talk to her about everything I'm feeling about her moving and come up with a plan on how we can stay in touch. I'm not sure who to ask or talk to next year. My church is going through some major changes and I'm not sure who all will actually be there next fall (I'm a college student so I'll be home for the summer). I know that the Bible says to take on the burdens of your brothers and sisters in Christ...I just don't like asking people to do that for me. I'm working on it though, lots of prayers .

Yeah you definitely need a strong support system through this. Please don't be afrraid to ask for help. That's what our brothers and sisters in Christ are there for. I will continue to pray for you and your continued relationship with your friend, Trying2survive. God Bless You, Trinity

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

I have a question....how do you find a mentor? I mean, it would be awesome to talk to someone who's gone through this, but it's not like people advertise it....and every time I have asked people like at my church for help, I've been turned away.

 

[Porcelain]

I don't know how to ask for help, but on a certain level, I know I need to. I'm not deep into cutting yet, but I'm really starting to scare myself. I don't want to become addicted to this or feel like I have no other release. I'm a pretty introverted person, and I've never been one to easily open up to people. But I'm starting to realize that I really need someone to help pull me out of this hole I'm digging- I just don't know how to ask. Sometimes I really want someone to see my arms just so they can understand a piece of what I'm feeling. I'm really lonely, and I need someone to understand that I don't know how to search anymore. I need God. I need my Father so badly, but I can't seem to find my way back to Him. Wow, this is getting off topic. Anyways, I know of a couple people I trust that I could talk to, but I don't know how to approach them, and it scares me that they might not understand. Any help would be much appreciated.

 

[trying2survive09]

I have a question....how do you find a mentor? I mean, it would be awesome to talk to someone who's gone through this, but it's not like people advertise it....and every time I have asked people like at my church for help, I've been turned away.

I don't really know how to answer your question. I found my mentor solely because of God. I'd talked to her before but never about major issues in my life. Then one day at church her husband gave a sermon (he's an intern) about how we need to be able to talk to our brothers and sisters in Christ about our sins and our problems. Well, out of no where, I felt that I should talk to her. I had no idea if she would understand, but once I started talking, I found out that her sister had gone through something very similar to my situation. I guess what I'm trying to say is to pray about it. God will provide someone. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to contact me either.

 

[trying2survive09]

I don't know how to ask for help, but on a certain level, I know I need to. I'm not deep into cutting yet, but I'm really starting to scare myself. I don't want to become addicted to this or feel like I have no other release. I'm a pretty introverted person, and I've never been one to easily open up to people. But I'm starting to realize that I really need someone to help pull me out of this hole I'm digging- I just don't know how to ask. Sometimes I really want someone to see my arms just so they can understand a piece of what I'm feeling. I'm really lonely, and I need someone to understand that I don't know how to search anymore. I need God. I need my Father so badly, but I can't seem to find my way back to Him. Wow, this is getting off topic. Anyways, I know of a couple people I trust that I could talk to, but I don't know how to approach them, and it scares me that they might not understand. Any help would be much appreciated.

I can really relate to you on this. Before I found my current mentor, I actually just talked to my best friend about it. It was hard to tell her...and scary. I wasn't very far into it at that point either but I knew I needed help. I want to encourage you because you do want help! That's a great thing. I know it's hard to find your way back to Him. I don't really know what I'm trying to say...I guess, as scary as it is, it probably won't get any less scary. You just have to push through and make yourself tell someone. Keeping it a secret is like keeping it in the dark. Once you bring it to light or let it out to someone, it's easier for it to be fixed. I guess I just want to encourage you...and if you need anything, feel free to contact me.

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

Well....it didn;t work out in the end for me.....but it really helped me tell. There's a booklet called "The Silent Agony of Self-Injury" by Rachel Nelson. You can get it through Focus on the family, or there's other booklets similar to that around...When I told my youth pastor's wife, I was in your shoes....I didn't know how to talk about it at all, couldn't really even say anything out loud, but I just said that I wanted her to read something and gave her the booklet. She read it while I was sitting there and asked if it was me in the situation or a friend, and I said me, and then she asked me some questions. It really helped her understand where I was coming from. It didn't really work out for me because she never really talked to me after that, but it sounds like the people where you are would be different. I hope this helps!

 

[NinadeDios777]

like, i hae mentors, but ir eally don't trust any adults with the whole si thing.... unless you count my big sister, who's 22...

 

[trying2survive09]

I don't know how to ask for help, but on a certain level, I know I need to. I'm not deep into cutting yet, but I'm really starting to scare myself. I don't want to become addicted to this or feel like I have no other release. I'm a pretty introverted person, and I've never been one to easily open up to people. But I'm starting to realize that I really need someone to help pull me out of this hole I'm digging- I just don't know how to ask. Sometimes I really want someone to see my arms just so they can understand a piece of what I'm feeling. I'm really lonely, and I need someone to understand that I don't know how to search anymore. I need God. I need my Father so badly, but I can't seem to find my way back to Him. Wow, this is getting off topic. Anyways, I know of a couple people I trust that I could talk to, but I don't know how to approach them, and it scares me that they might not understand. Any help would be much appreciated.

You sound so much like me about 6 months ago. I know how scary it is to reach out for help. First, I want to tell you how great it is that you want help. That is the first step. As far as finding someone to tell, it's good that you have people you can trust. It will be scary to tell him/her about this, but you'd be surprised how many people are understanding. Approaching the person will be scary, but just keep praying for strength. Maybe try saying it outloud a couple of times before you talk to the person...or write it down. Then either read it to the person when you get together to talk, or give it to him/her to read. It might make opening up a lot easier. I'm praying for you and if you need anything please let me know.

 

[trying2survive09]

I don't know how to ask for help, but on a certain level, I know I need to. I'm not deep into cutting yet, but I'm really starting to scare myself. I don't want to become addicted to this or feel like I have no other release. I'm a pretty introverted person, and I've never been one to easily open up to people. But I'm starting to realize that I really need someone to help pull me out of this hole I'm digging- I just don't know how to ask. Sometimes I really want someone to see my arms just so they can understand a piece of what I'm feeling. I'm really lonely, and I need someone to understand that I don't know how to search anymore. I need God. I need my Father so badly, but I can't seem to find my way back to Him. Wow, this is getting off topic. Anyways, I know of a couple people I trust that I could talk to, but I don't know how to approach them, and it scares me that they might not understand. Any help would be much appreciated.

You sound so much like me about 6 months ago. I know how scary it is to reach out for help. First, I want to tell you how great it is that you want help. That is the first step. As far as finding someone to tell, it's good that you have people you can trust. It will be scary to tell him/her about this, but you'd be surprised how many people are understanding. Approaching the person will be scary, but just keep praying for strength. Maybe try saying it outloud a couple of times before you talk to the person...or write it down. Then either read it to the person when you get together to talk, or give it to him/her to read. It might make opening up a lot easier. I'm praying for you and if you need anything please let me know.

 

[trying2survive09]

I don't know how to ask for help, but on a certain level, I know I need to. I'm not deep into cutting yet, but I'm really starting to scare myself. I don't want to become addicted to this or feel like I have no other release. I'm a pretty introverted person, and I've never been one to easily open up to people. But I'm starting to realize that I really need someone to help pull me out of this hole I'm digging- I just don't know how to ask. Sometimes I really want someone to see my arms just so they can understand a piece of what I'm feeling. I'm really lonely, and I need someone to understand that I don't know how to search anymore. I need God. I need my Father so badly, but I can't seem to find my way back to Him. Wow, this is getting off topic. Anyways, I know of a couple people I trust that I could talk to, but I don't know how to approach them, and it scares me that they might not understand. Any help would be much appreciated.

You sound so much like me about 6 months ago. I know how scary it is to reach out for help. First, I want to tell you how great it is that you want help. That is the first step. As far as finding someone to tell, it's good that you have people you can trust. It will be scary to tell him/her about this, but you'd be surprised how many people are understanding. Approaching the person will be scary, but just keep praying for strength. Maybe try saying it outloud a couple of times before you talk to the person...or write it down. Then either read it to the person when you get together to talk, or give it to him/her to read. It might make opening up a lot easier. I'm praying for you and if you need anything please let me know

 

[trying2survive09]

sorry about all those posts, for some reason it duplicated them.