Mental mess

Michael bailey said:

Hi this is my first forum post, I'm an eighteen year old high school student and I've been struggling with scrupulatory OCD (also referred as "religious" OCD, anxiety, and depression. Not only this, but my dad loves to watch televangelists, is a hoarder, and talks about the end of the world so freaking much it now just makes me mad or I get annoyed when he talks about it.

To out it shortly, I have a lot of mental issues because of these two major influences on my life (my anxiety disorder and my dad). I get the constant feeling that I'm unforgivable all the time, that my sins and mistakes separate me further and further from God each day, I get scared that I've committed the unpardonable sin, or that I'll be given over to my sin. I dont talk too much about my problems anymore and I get a stale feeling when I pray with my mom and dad. I keep having passing thoughts saying "I give up, I cant keep trying to be a Christian" because of all the confusion and all the doubt that floods my head. I take medication for my problems with anxiety while also counseling and when I do have "intrusive thoughts" i dont say as much about it anymore

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I have the same problem brother, I have had ocd scrupulosity for 4 years I think and it's very hard to deal with but remember, Jesus Christ is our Lord and Saviour and it's all about Him and God loves us very deeply. If you ever want to talk you can pm me. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

Michael bailey said:

How can I PM you?

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I will pm you right now brother.

I learned about religiosity OCD bc other ppl have written about their struggles with it on here. So you're not alone! It sounds mega hard to cope with, on top of the other stuff you're dealing with in regards to your dad. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much!

What's your plan for next yr? Maybe moving away for college would give you the break it really sounds like you need from living with your dad.

Hi. I read your post. I'm really sorry you're going through all that. You definitely aren't alone!

I know you have probably heard this before and just hearing it and even believing it intellectually doesn't make the feelings and anxiety go away... But I believe God is infinitely merciful. I believe God will never leave us or forsake us, and NOTHING can separate us from His love. If we repent and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). So what's this about "unpardonable sins"? Jesus does use that language, yes, referring to blasphemy against the Holy Spirit; but what does that even mean? He uses a lot of figurative language. When you look at it, He forgave some pretty serious stuff just in the Bible: David's adultery and murder of Bathsheba's husband, Peter's thrice denial of the Lord, Paul's persecution and murder of early Christians. So really, what is it you think you can do to make God turn away from you? I believe the only "unpardonable sin" is the one you don't repent of and confess — the one you believe God can't forgive. THAT'S blasphemy against the Holy Spirit — believing the Holy Spirit is limited by our human failings.

So God loves you. He wants to forgive you and not to condemn you (2 Peter 3:9). So, I know it's a lot easier said that done — but be willing to forgive yourself.