Mens Teaching

[donb1959]

Why is it so difficult to find a church that has an active mens ministry that teachs and helps men with issues that are particular to men. Every church has a womens ministry, but very few a mens....any ideas why that is?

 

[mont974x4]

I have tried getting men's groups started in a few churches. It is difficult to get consistent regular committed attendance and involvment from men. Men do not seem to be willing to set aside the time.

 

[donb1959]

I have tried getting men's groups started in a few churches. It is difficult to get consistent regular committed attendance and involvment from men. Men do not seem to be willing to set aside the time.

Those were my thoughts, was just wondering if I was missing something. It's a shame

 

[mont974x4]

It is a shame. They do tend to step up for special events, like if the men cook breakfast for mother's day, or attendance at an annual men's retreat. However even in those cases it is usually the same guys all the time.


Maybe we do a poor job of welcoming men into the fold? (just thinking about when we get new members/attendees)

 

[FrancisAlbert]

I saw a 20/20 or Dateline show on this a few years ago. The bottom line was simply more women go to church in the first place. They focused on lots of families where mom and the kids go to church every Sunday and dad stays home. I don't think they ever came up with an actual reason - it's just the way it is.
That said, with fewer guys involved at all, there are fewer to choose from to form any kind of men's group. That doesn't explain Promise Keepers, except PK is not touchy/feely - it's more in your face and has lots of testosterone involved.
Come to think of it, I do think this report said something about church and worshiping being perceived as kind of feminine and that's what keeps guys away.
My 8:30 mass has lots of couples and families, but single adults....almost all female.

 

[SuperSaint4GodDBZStyle]

Men really don't wanna be as active in the Church now a days.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

In my experience it's a little spotty. I've belonged to a couple. One was work based - helping out widows and orphans around the house. I quit because they decided that they wouldn't include single moms "because the Bible says widows and orphans."

Others were play-based - go for motorcycle rides, fishing etc.

 

[heron]

helping out widows and orphans around the house. I quit because they decided that they wouldn't include single moms "because the Bible says widows and orphans."

!



And -

I've seen some effective Men's Breakfasts -- some Saturday mornings in the church, some in diners on workday mornings. You could just declare a meeting time at a restaurant, and see who shows up.

One church has a specialty meats dinner every year, where they buy bison, rabbit, duck... cook all sorts of game. It's expensive, though.

A grilling event or bonfire can work...combine it with prayer over a specific cause, or study of a chapter.

As said earlier, you don't want the mens group to start feeling like a second job. It should lead people closer to Christ. Some people don't have time between work and family, and really need the boost. (Men and women.)

By the way, I am a woman and don't gain much from women's events.

An activity becomes worthwhile when we make it worthwhile.

I am not sure what the feminine parts of the service are, but churches I go to are often led and organized by men. Many churches discourage women in leadership. If they are including feminine activities, then that was their choice.

 

[wayseer]

Why is it so difficult to find a church that has an active mens ministry that teachs and helps men with issues that are particular to men. Every church has a womens ministry, but very few a mens....any ideas why that is?

Men are still inevitably treated as part of the greater outside world and until the church tackles that little issue men will generally stay away in droves.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

!



And -

Exactly. When I brought up single mothers and stated that they are today's equivalent, he got an uncomfortable look on his face and said "We're just gonna follow the Bible for now. Maybe we'll expand it later." I never attended another meeting. So much for being known for our love.

I've seen some effective Men's Breakfasts -- some Saturday mornings in the church, some in diners on workday mornings. You could just declare a meeting time at a restaurant, and see who shows up.

One church has a specialty meats dinner every year, where they buy bison, rabbit, duck... cook all sorts of game. It's expensive, though.

A grilling event or bonfire can work...combine it with prayer over a specific cause, or study of a chapter.

As said earlier, you don't want the mens group to start feeling like a second job. It should lead people closer to Christ. Some people don't have time between work and family, and really need the boost. (Men and women.)

By the way, I am a woman and don't gain much from women's events.

An activity becomes worthwhile when we make it worthwhile.

I am not sure what the feminine parts of the service are, but churches I go to are often led and organized by men. Many churches discourage women in leadership. If they are including feminine activities, then that was their choice.

My church in Colorado Springs used to do something called BYOM - they set up a huge grill in the church parking lot, then everyone brought food to grill. Once the food was done, they went inside and watched a movie (movie theater church.)

 

[Quasicentennial]

The internet is an excellent choice if men stay at home and have access to the computer. A website for men's group where sharing thoughts can be done without the hassles of driving in traffic and what clean clothes to wear.
Maybe a calendar of events to prepare men for suitable time and place to meet face to face.

 

[BarelyBreathing]

The church that I attend has a really active men's group, but I think it is entirely possible that it is more effect rather than cause..... in other words, the group is good because of the men, rather than men attend because of the group. They meet for social events such as men's breakfasts, fishing, etc. They also meet for Bible study. They currently are doing a book study together, going through a Christian book together. Etc. The church that I attend is family integrated and preaches a strong line of the role of the man in the family. I think that for a man to stay in a church like that, he clearly has to not be afriad to get his toes stepped on. These men display in their character and in their lives the qualities of what a godly man should be.

I have been in many churches that seem to fail in their men's ministries. One thing that I have observed, and this can also be said in general of the church today, is often a lacking in discipleship and also accountability. If a man struggles or is new to the faith, where are the men to lift him up and support him? If a man is going astray, where are those to hold him accountable? They can all get together to play basketball, make some gruts at each other, and punch each other's arms-- but where are they when one of them is having a problem at work or in his marriage? Where are they when one is having trouble reading and understanding the Bible?

Please don't misunderstand me. I am in no way putting down men at all. These are just thigs I have observed in churches where I have seen men's ministries failing or virtually non-existent. Like I said, these things culd even be said at the church as a whole these days. The church wants to preach a feel good, social gospel and then all meet up at IHOP for pancakes and friendly banter, and "see you again next Sunday" when everyone puts on their Sunday un-best and clothes themelves in their faith.

Women's ministries can be just as guilty as dropping the ball. They can become cliquish, exclusionary, gossip mills, and condescending to others "in love".

The Bible says we will know them by their fruits.... I think this applies to churches as much as individuals. What fruit are they bearing? It's time to take a stand. There are some excellent churches out there.

 

[Macx]

One thing that I have observed, and this can also be said in general of the church today, is often a lacking in discipleship and also accountability. If a man struggles or is new to the faith, where are the men to lift him up and support him? If a man is going astray, where are those to hold him accountable? They can all get together to play basketball, make some gruts at each other, and punch each other's arms-- but where are they when one of them is having a problem at work or in his marriage? Where are they when one is having trouble reading and understanding the Bible?

This sums Bacon's lack of understanding. Everytime he gets challenged on some non-Biblical ideas he has (as he has posted under the names Taku60, Presto, and others) he skates. Won't stay in a church because they won't tell him what he wants to hear. You could offer all the social opportunities a church could muster, airsoft outings and the whole nine, but as soon as he gets the truth declared to him . .. poof ! . . . he is Casper, only to show up a week later with a different screen name and the same rhetoric. How much harder must it be to bring the truth to him in person?

 

[Macx]

Er, no. That was very much on topic. You said

Im not sure what this means "he clearly has to not be afriad to get his toes stepped on", . . .

And I replied that you could reference discussions we have had about why you aren't currently a member of a church and all that.

So why do you keep changing your screen name?

 

[more excellent way]

Women form groups because...

1) women are industrious.

2) women are more familiar with love as a heartfelt SENTIMENT (men intellectualize love as simply one of many human EMOTIONs).

There really is no shame in admitting to the arrogant pigheadedness and independence of being a man (regardless of God's choice, "God chose what is weak...").

Women are in the habit of seeking who their SOUL loves (they got SOUL, but don't tell them, it might go to their head,...NAHHHH, they also know HUMILITY in a more genuine way than prideful men).

Song of Solomon 3:2 (Song of Songs)
"I will seek Him whom my soul loves".

Women tend to PERSONALIZE everything with their SOUL (hey, isn't it supposed to be a PERSONAL relationship with all of our idiosyncrasies, attitudes, habits, and shortcomings????).

Men know the pride of 'intellectualism' and being a 'great scholar' (scientifically and literally analyzing THE BOOK, acheiving LITERARY excellence and status). We understand the POWER of a MASTER and FEAR that He is prudish and judgemental. By nature, we don't understand the loving kindness of God as "Abba Father" (dear Father, Romans 8:15).

Because we are rebellious/competitive by nature, we resent God's decision to teach us the error of our way whenever He has decided that it is absolutely necessary (that is why we will FEAR Him) and need to be FORCED/commanded to do anything Godly (we have the need to OBEY)...

Before Jesus was glorified, even after John baptized with H2O, worshippers still used books, gestures of holiness (deeds, sacrifices/offerings) to FORCE a Godly personality/behavior...

Matthew 11:12
"From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and men of violence take it by force".

...but we should not be 'climbing sheep'...

John 10:1
"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber".

It's not that women are aware of all the false beliefs that have been taught since Antioch (when the disciples were first called "Christians", Acts 11:26), it's that because they are the weaker sex, they instinctively understand PEACE, the nobility of wisdom from above, and the relationship
that we should have (a 'two way' relationship with HUMILITY).

Who was it that impressed Jesus so much (on the spot) that Jesus CHANGED HIS MIND?

Matthew 15:28
"Then Jesus answered her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly".

Who touched Jesus's cloak with such trusting faith ("faith FOR faith", Romans 1:17) without seeking permission as though He was the 'fountain of life'....

Matthew 9:22
"Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, "Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well." And instantly the woman was made well".

Who made the most appropriate expression of love to Jesus....

Luke 7:38
"and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment".

Who was it that recognized Jesus as "Messiah" when Jesus's own disciples still called Him "Rabbi" and was also enthusiastic about the water that baptizes/consecrates the inner temple (us) to the outer temple (Jesus)...

John 4:15
"Sir, give me this water".

John 7:38
"He who believes in me, as the scripture has said, 'Out of his heart shall flow rivers of living water.'"

1 John 5:6 "He came by water and blood"......so that we "neither thirst", Revelation 7:16, Acts 1:5, Ephesians 4:5.

Women are not AWARE of all the false teachings of the CHURCH OF MAN, but they instictively have a better understanding of true love and what it means that GOD IS JEALOUS GOD (He "yearns jealously", James 4:5) and that we should not place any ambitions/kingdoms before our love for The Almighty.

As a spirit creation (new creation) that is spiritually INside Jesus's body, we no longer simply EXIST, but have REAL LIFE,...and there is...

Galatians 3:28
"neither male nor female"....(in Christ, spirits have no gender).

Inside of Jesus....

Acts 17:28
"we live and move and have our being"...and have THE LIFE (John 14:6).

JESUS became the new worship temple (the outer temple) in "three days" (John 2:19 and 21) and we each are the inner temple (1 Corinthians 3:16 and 6:19, no buildings) and our relationship/devotion should be PRIVATE (not just personal)...

Matthew 6:6
"But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door".

Romans 14:22
"The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God".

...so that God may be everything spiritual to us...

1 Corinthians 15:28
"that God may be everything to every one".

All spiritual groups are unnecessary ("neither male nor female"), but at least women personalize their devotion/relationship, men "PRIDE" (intellectualize) their relationship (seeking STATUS) chasing "fruits" that are owned and manifested by GOD'S eternal spirit (not necessarily having any righteiousness of our own...the "fruit of light", Ephesians 5:8 and 9) because God's spirit can only relate to OUR spirt...

Romans 8:16
"it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God".

Have a LOVE devotion, not a BOOK devotion.

All verses are from the RSV.

 

[seashale76]

You could always go to an Orthodox Church. I've not seen the problem you describe in Orthodoxy.

 

[heron]

Why is it so difficult to find a church that has an active mens ministry that teachs and helps men with issues that are particular to men.

Sometimes it just takes one person to say they want one started.