Men need sex more

[iambren]

This comes from work on the preoptic center of the brain near the hypothalamus:

"The hypothalamus controls some of the basic functions of life including hormonal activity via the pituitary gland. There are several gender differences in the gland present between males and females.

Some of the differences between male and female hypothalamus can be listed as:

The volume of a specific nucleus in the hypothalamus (third cell group of the interstitial nuclei of the anterior hypothalamus) is twice as large in heterosexual men as in women and homosexual men
In addition, the preoptic area that regulates mating behavior, is about 2.2 times larger in men than in women and contains 2 times more cells. This large size depends on the amount of male sex hormones or androgens. The difference in this area is only apparent after a child is 4 years old. In girls at 4 years of age there is a decrease in the number of cells in this nucleus."

There exists a misalignment with men vs female sexual needs. Would this not put a check in the "yes" column for men needing more than one wife? Or would God purposely yoke men with lifetime sexual frustration?

 

[dayhiker]

Interesting data, iambren.
I don't know quite how to evaluate it.
If men have more than one wife and woman are only allowed one husband like in the OT then there are a number of men who would not have a wife. So that helps the assertive men and hurts the less assertive men I think.

From a historical perspective the writings of old had women as being the sexual ones couldn't control their sexual desires. I think women are afraid to express their sexuality because they have been shamed every time they let their sexuality really go. Most of the negative names names are associated with women, we all know the main one, while the men have positive words like stud. Yet if we really want to see who can have the most sex many women would leave us guys in the dust.

 

[HauntedByYou]

Or perhaps that data shows the imbalance of human nature and mind in light of the effects of sin in our bodies, and not an evidence of purposeful intent on God's part, as some sort of guide to polygamy.

 

[miss-a]

No, I think it is more as HauntedByYou states, more a result of the fall. And one we should be careful with, as it is too often used as another reason to stereotype and malign women--not saying anyone here does that. But as a woman, I find it rather insulting to be thought of as a sexless being, cold and needing to be coerced into some hideous act that I'm told I disdain. Give us girls a break--again, not you guys; I'm trusting you to hear from the Holy Spirit.

Men, and woman, for that matter, need androgens for more than just sexual function or sexual thoughts.

So, sorry, no six pack of wives today!

P.S. Just a tip, for when any of you find that one wife. The sexual stereotypes put on women are a real turn off. Don't make that assumption about your wife, or it could likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[ChangedByHim]

Or perhaps that data shows the imbalance of human nature and mind in light of the effects of sin in our bodies, and not an evidence of purposeful intent on God's part, as some sort of guide to polygamy.

So because I want to have sex with my wife it is the effect of sin?

 

[miss-a]

So because I want to have sex with my wife it is the effect of sin?

No, but if you think you need eleven wives, that probably is.

 

[ChangedByHim]

No, but if you think you need eleven wives, that probably is.

I love mine and don't need any others. Thanks for the advice though.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I had trouble and to spare with one wife. Trying to imagine half a dozen wives---- How about "no". Does that work for you??

Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. These were mostly foreign women and they led Solomon astray, so that he forsook the God of Israel and went after the gods his wives and concubines worshiped. He would have been a far wiser man, in my never-to-be-humble opinion, if he could have been happy with one wife from the children of Israel.

 

[iambren]

I don't know what to think of the anatomical data either. Sex is not a curse nor is it the result of the Fall. To think that God cursed the sexuality between men and women(with a bias of men needing more) seems rather cruel to men and unnecessarily empowering to women(since they can use sex to control men). And the fact that Eve took the initiative to eat of the forbidden fruit it would appear she needs LESS not more power.

I think it's fairly well accepted that men think about and want sex more than women. I don't know how to explain the gender difference about desire. My guess is that women have something else going on in the brain that narrows the gap,maybe an anatomical structure some where else in the brain. I can't believe that approx. 2X geographical space yields men who are twice as sexual.

Behavioral-neurology is my fantasy job!

 

[dayhiker]

Well, I don't think we have any data about Adam and Eve before the fall. Nor do I think sin has the power to change our DNA other than mutations. So until there is data that men have large hypothalamus because of a gene mutation than I don't by that argument.

 

[blackribbon]

Okay...where did you get this info and what does the study suggest?

"The preoptic area is responsible for thermoregulation and receives nervous stimulation from thermoreceptors in the skin, mucous membranes, and hypothalamus itself.
This area propagates stimuli to either the heat-losing or the heat-promoting centers of the hypothalamus." (source is wikipedia...which is not necessarily a very solid source but was the easiest to understand explanation of the portion of the hypothalamus)...so if size had anything to do with "more", then men should run physiologically hotter or colder than women and trust me, they don't...same "normals" apply for both sexes.



The preoptic portion of the brain also is in charge of regulating the gonadotropin hormone secretion which is a hormone very involved in the woman's menstruation cycle....it causes the ovary to release an egg at the beginning of the cycle and maintains the body in a state that will allow for implantation if the egg does get fertilized. In men, it is involved in bringing a sperm to maturation. Nothing about libido as far as I can tell.



I can't find anything that says a bigger preoptic area means "a greater desire for sex" but rather it is responsible for the sex differences between a female and a male (sex dimorphism). So big may just mean "male".



Am I missing something?

 

[redblue22]

men need sex more?

first, need?

second, men desire sex more than women desire sex?

and we're to believe that, why?

.

 

[blackribbon]

I did see a little bit that is related to libido after all, but it is is reference to having a damaged preoptic area causing a decrease in libido...and related to lower dopamine levels in a damaged hypothalamus.

 

[iambren]

Yeah,women have always had a hard time keeping up....the "Not tonight,I have a headache" syndrome.

So I was digging around for the reason why this gap exists. No doubt women have a lot of power to exploit this gap and to manipulate men. Prostitution is overwhelming a trade done by the lady-folk because the demand was there.

The only reasonable answer that comes close (but doesn't explain all) is that a woman lays a lot more on the line when she has sex--reputation,pregnancy,need for support if a baby comes,raising the child. Somehow there has to also be an anatomical,hormonal,physiological component that makes the male want it daily while the female wants it 1-2X a week at best.

 

[blackribbon]

To be honest, I think many women stop wanting to have sex related to their early experiences with sex. When you feel like you as a person don't matter, it is hard to feel excited about having sex. Especially when the first experience really can hurt. It also hurts if the man doesn't wait for the woman to warm up. Lack of libido can be psychological, not only physical.

And of course, a women's natural hormonal cycle does mean that their libido cycles while a man's runs pretty level all month. Making a woman feel bad that she isn't interested at certain times of the month, doesn't help her really feel as interested when her libido is at higher parts of her cycle.

Since the most important sex organ is the brain, there really can't be any "all men" or "all women". (And most men only think they want to have sex daily....if they actually get it daily, they get tired too.)

 

[redblue22]

edit insanily.
.

 

[PetLuv]

At the very best women only want sex 1-2 times a week?

News to me...

 

[PetLuv]

I also see alot of stuff in there about why men may "want" sex more often, but I don't see how want got translated into "need".

 

[dayhiker]

There are all these stereotypes that some some truth in them. But as pointed out they don't describe everyone. I've also heard too many stories of men and women who said they wanted a lot of sex and then once they were married it wasn't happening. They had lied or didn't know their own desires and body very well.
Well, I've been running into older women who want a lot of sex. Some quite a few women dry up ofter menopause. While others don't an just want to keep going and going.

So there are people in every situation out there. We really need to learn how to be very honest with anyone we are interested in.

I've been very interested in this topic for some time and am finding a lot of men and women are hurt by the way we have experienced or not sex and loving in the past. It was interesting to me that while I thought I didn't have any I was listing to a guy talk about this and I felt this hurt feeling that I didn't even know was there. He over sees a whole organization that works to being healing to both men and women who have this hurt. Now its not from a Christian approach, in talking with people involved with his organization its clear they are receiving help. But I really see very little of this type of healing in the church.I know I didn't find healing of this type from my involvement with the church. But I praise God that I have found a healing and have also been able to help some other find some healing while sharing my faith in Jesus.

 

[blackribbon]

I agree with PetLuv...."news to me" about only 1 or 2 times a week. Yes, I might have felt that way if life had me too tired. The easy solution really was to take some responsibilities off my plate so I wasn't so tired....not to complain about me being tired.

As I get older and am more willing to talk bluntly with people, I am finding that many men have very distorted ideas on how a woman's body works. And by acting within the realms of this "knowledge deficit", they are their own poison when it comes to having a good sex life. Christian women are not raised to talk openly about sex and it doesn't come easy...but then they do, their men better stop and listen and try to hear what they are actually saying. It won't be "I like it when you do "x" in bed"....it is more likely going to be "please rub my feet"...and more frankly "don't touch me there" or "don't do that" or maybe just an action like pulling away from some touch. We usually like sex for a different reason which included the intimacy....this is why there aren't many male prostitutes. That does not mean we don't desire it any less...but we are hoping for more of an emotional connection than a "happy ending".

My husband's primary "on" button was between his legs..and he liked to be touched there from moment one. Touch me in the same area when I am not ready or expecting it, and as much as I like sex with him, I grew icicles....it was an automatic "off" button. It took him many years to actually listen to what I was saying in spite of me speaking very directly about this.

There are some very good Christian books that explains the biology of both sexes in respectful and educational ways. My favorite is "The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly LaHaye.