Meds

[angelkiss]

Hey everyone! I haven't been in this forum in a while because I feel like such a hypocrite. I have advised others on what I feel they should do to fight this illness, and I have turned around and done the opposite. I haven't seen my doc or therapist in about 2 months. I have stopped taking my meds and I am in the process of deciding if I'm going to find a new one or not. I have searched for so long for a doc who will take me seriously and stop and actually listen to me. I see my doc for like 5 minutes, if that long sometimes, and I feel that he is just there to hand out a script and send me on my way. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD on top of Bipolar I, and she even put a note on top of my file so the doc will check it out and make it official. I don't feel that he has taken the time to do so, for when I told him that I use my coping skills in certain situations, and they still don't work, he told me that he can't prescribe me a med for every symptom. He made me sound like an idiot!! The only med he has had me on for the past 4 months or so is Lamictal. He keeps upping it, but won't put anything with it. I'm not one that likes to have to take meds, but I know that I need them. It's not like I'm asking for them to get high off of or sell on the streets like most do. The one med that helped my anxiety was Ativan. I only took one as needed. I never abused them in any way, and I was only on 1 mg. It was just enough to calm me down and help me through an attack. He's not even hearing me when I tell him what helps me and what don't. I know that he's the doc and he should know what he's doing, but I've been going through this for years and I know what works for me and what don't. I also suggested that Remeron with the combination of Celexa was a good system for me and Remeron helped me gain weight. He knows I'm a little underweight and I asked him if he would put me on a med that would put a little weight on me, and his response was that he don't like to put people on weight gainers.
I am so frustrated right now, I just want to throw my hands up and say forget it!!!!! It's not doing me any good to have a doc who won't listen to me. If I didn't need meds, I sure wouldn't have been wasting my time for the past several years running back and forth between psychs and therapists!!! I was in straight denial for the first two years of my diagnosis. Now, after accepting and dealing with this illness, it's like I'm on my own.
I'm really sorry for being so long-winded, but I really needed to get this off my chest before I explode. Please, when you say a prayer, keep me in mind and ask that God will see me through this and show me what to do.
God Bless! I love y'all!!
Angelkiss

 

[Col303]

Hi Angel,

I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now. So glad that you came back here for support.

Please, please start taking your meds again. Then find a new doctor. It is so important for you to not only be comfortable with your doc but be reassured that he/she is really listening to your concerns and needs. You are the only one who knows how you feel and what has worked in the past.

This disorder can be so frustrating sometimes especially when the people we turn to for medical assistance don't really listen. Maybe you could call a local clinic or crisis center to see if they could give you some doc names to check out. Medication is plays such a vital role in our well-being.

Father, I just lift up Angel to You right now. Please grant her wisdom in how to handle her medical needs. I pray that she would be able to find a caring and supportive doctor who will meet her needs. Lord, I ask that You would bring peace and calm to her soul. May the frustration that she is feeling melt away in Your love. I ask all of this in the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Angel, please feel free to drop me a line if you ever need to talk or just need a listening ear.

God Bless,

colleen

 

[meh]

Hello, angelkiss I am so sorry you are in such a difficult time. The run-around can get old and especially frustrating when your doc just isn't hearing you. I would highly suggest looking for another doc, perhaps even one your therapist could recommend. And I'd recommend seeing your therapist soon, too. Best to get a handle on things before they spin too far out control has been my experience. Those are my thoughts.

I certainly will keep you in my prayers. I know how difficult this disease is to manage. I pray you find a wonderful doctor who will listen to you and your concerns. God be with you.

 

[Akathist]

Hey everyone! I haven't been in this forum in a while because I feel like such a hypocrite. I have advised others on what I feel they should do to fight this illness, and I have turned around and done the opposite. I haven't seen my doc or therapist in about 2 months. I have stopped taking my meds and I am in the process of deciding if I'm going to find a new one or not.

Hi Angel, as others have said please please call your therapist up and get in to see them and ask for a referral to a different doctor.

Bipolar Disorder is one of the hardest conditions to find an effective medication for, and also one in which medication compliance is hard to keep up with. But it is important that you stay on medication until you can get to a different doctor.

At this point, I don't think you should just start back on meds you have not taken in two months without knowing what the new starter dose should be. Finding a different doctor might be a good idea, on the other hand, the insurance company may have limitations. It is better to make sure your bipolar is under control and to work on coping skills for the anxiety in therapy for many people as bipolar is more crippling when untreated then anxiety. (Yes, anxiety feels horrible, but episodes pass, bipolar untreated can lead to much worse situations.)

 

[spdnet75]

Angel, it would seem that we have a concensus here. It also sounds like you are aware of what you need to do. We would really feel sadness here in cyber world and your family would be upset too if you gave up.

I've had 4 Psychiatrists in the past 2 years and I totally understand your frusteration.

If you're willing to keep working at, I'm certain that we can provide you with moral support and Prayer Power.
Stephen

 

[lemonflavor]

I sort of know how you feel. My previous psychiatrist knew that I do a lot of research and pretty much just asked me what he should prescirbe, wanted to write a script and get me out of there and on to the next patient. Looking back, he totally missed signs of being bipolar and never gave me that diagnosis.

With my current doctor I'm probably on too many drugs right now and he's reducing or eliminating them one by one to see what's working and what's not which is torture. So be careful not to eventually go the other way.

I'll pray for you. Keep us updated.

 

[angelkiss]

I truly thank each and every one for your prayers and support. I am going to call my therapist on Monday and ask for a referral. If she can't help me with that, I'll look on my own. I know I can't just give up for I've done that so many times over the past several years and been hospitalized 7 times. 5 of the 7, I was orange-banded and I certainly don't want to get to that point again.
I just get so frustrated when I'm not being listened to and trying to say what works for me, and it just goes through one ear and out the other.
The docs just don't seem to realize how badly this illness affects individuals. It's like my doc is just trying to work on one illness and putting the others aside. I do use my coping skills during anxiety attacks and they only work when it's minor. Certain situations they don't phase. I've gotten a whole list of coping skills that I use and even my therapist has said that there's nothing she can tell me that I don't already know.
This is the diagnosis' that I have received:
Bipolar I with Borderline Traits
PTSD
Anxiety
Dissociative Disorder
Impulse Control Disorder
(The Borderline Traits and the Impulse Control Disorder are controlled well with coping skills)
The rest is where my trouble is.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment and for your prayers and support.
May God Bless Each and Every One
's and es!!

 

[Pats]

Angelkiss,

I completely understand. I know I should be taking my meds.... but I forget alot. Then, I use that as an internal excuse not to take them and skip them a lot. I know what I am risking... but I do it anyway, as if I don't really care.

There's lots of other important things I put off or don't do, like makind doctor and therapy apts. Also, paying bills and managing my money properly.

In other ways, I'm highly responsible. I have no idea why I let those things go to the extents that I do?

 

[angelkiss]

Angelkiss,

I completely understand. I know I should be taking my meds.... but I forget alot. Then, I use that as an internal excuse not to take them and skip them a lot. I know what I am risking... but I do it anyway, as if I don't really care.

There's lots of other important things I put off or don't do, like makind doctor and therapy apts. Also, paying bills and managing my money properly.

In other ways, I'm highly responsible. I have no idea why I let those things go to the extents that I do?

I've gotten myself to that point already. I got pulled by a very nice policeman today on my way home because they had a road-check in the middle of town and low and behold: My tags were expired!! I had also wrote bills out yesterday and left my checkbook laying on the counter with my license in it. He let me off the hook big time!! He didn't write me a ticket for no license because he ran my social through and found it legit. He did write me up for expired tags and registration, but gave me 30 days to get it taken care of so it wouldn't go to court. So, I just have to go down and get the renewel, take it to the county attorney, and then they'll throw it out before it has to go to court. Talk about a major wake-up call!!
I'm one that if I don't feel like doing something, I don't do it until I'm ready or until it's too late. In this case I was too late, but luckily it wasn't anything major. I've avoided a fine and court.
I'm on top of my bills and things such as that, but I'm really bad for neglecting other things. If I don't feel like going to the doc the day of an appointment, I don't go. Same with my therepist appts.
I finally got my eyes checked last week after neglecting it for the past 3 or 4 years. I should've done it a long time ago, but last week was more convenient. So, I have to pick up a pair of eyeglasses, (probably one day this week) and I already know that if I don't make myself go, I'll be picking them up a month from now. That's pretty much the way I have to do things. I have to MAKE myself do it. It's a really difficult situation when I have to listen to myself, but I always end up in situations like today, if I don't. My heart truly goes out to you for I know how hard it is to make yourself do what needs to be done and it's so much easier to just put it off.

 

[Pats]

That's pretty much the way I have to do things. I have to MAKE myself do it. It's a really difficult situation when I have to listen to myself, but I always end up in situations like today, if I don't. My heart truly goes out to you for I know how hard it is to make yourself do what needs to be done and it's so much easier to just put it off.

Oh, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. It's a terrible thing.... remembering how responsable I used to be... and seeing how procrastination has hurt me. Thank you, sister.

 

[rushingwind62]

Hey everyone! I haven't been in this forum in a while because I feel like such a hypocrite. I have advised others on what I feel they should do to fight this illness, and I have turned around and done the opposite. I haven't seen my doc or therapist in about 2 months. I have stopped taking my meds and I am in the process of deciding if I'm going to find a new one or not. I have searched for so long for a doc who will take me seriously and stop and actually listen to me. I see my doc for like 5 minutes, if that long sometimes, and I feel that he is just there to hand out a script and send me on my way. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD on top of Bipolar I, and she even put a note on top of my file so the doc will check it out and make it official. I don't feel that he has taken the time to do so, for when I told him that I use my coping skills in certain situations, and they still don't work, he told me that he can't prescribe me a med for every symptom. He made me sound like an idiot!! The only med he has had me on for the past 4 months or so is Lamictal. He keeps upping it, but won't put anything with it. I'm not one that likes to have to take meds, but I know that I need them. It's not like I'm asking for them to get high off of or sell on the streets like most do. The one med that helped my anxiety was Ativan. I only took one as needed. I never abused them in any way, and I was only on 1 mg. It was just enough to calm me down and help me through an attack. He's not even hearing me when I tell him what helps me and what don't. I know that he's the doc and he should know what he's doing, but I've been going through this for years and I know what works for me and what don't. I also suggested that Remeron with the combination of Celexa was a good system for me and Remeron helped me gain weight. He knows I'm a little underweight and I asked him if he would put me on a med that would put a little weight on me, and his response was that he don't like to put people on weight gainers.
I am so frustrated right now, I just want to throw my hands up and say forget it!!!!! It's not doing me any good to have a doc who won't listen to me. If I didn't need meds, I sure wouldn't have been wasting my time for the past several years running back and forth between psychs and therapists!!! I was in straight denial for the first two years of my diagnosis. Now, after accepting and dealing with this illness, it's like I'm on my own.
I'm really sorry for being so long-winded, but I really needed to get this off my chest before I explode. Please, when you say a prayer, keep me in mind and ask that God will see me through this and show me what to do.
God Bless! I love y'all!!
Angelkiss

Angelkiss,
I think it is important you get back on your meds. Because BPD can and will sneak up on you and cloud your vision and how it affects you. I also recommend you go to another psychatrist. I know my first one wouldn't listen to me and even told me I was not BP. So I got a second opinion and fortunately I got a psychatrist that listens and considers my opinion. He says no one knows you or how you feel as well as you. Hang in there, we are praying for you...God Bless You....Rush

 

[angelkiss]

Oh, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. It's a terrible thing.... remembering how responsable I used to be... and seeing how procrastination has hurt me. Thank you, sister.

Anytime If you need to talk, you can pm me anytime.

 

[angelkiss]

Angelkiss,
I think it is important you get back on your meds. Because BPD can and will sneak up on you and cloud your vision and how it affects you. I also recommend you go to another psychatrist. I know my first one wouldn't listen to me and even told me I was not BP. So I got a second opinion and fortunately I got a psychatrist that listens and considers my opinion. He says no one knows you or how you feel as well as you. Hang in there, we are praying for you...God Bless You....Rush

Thank you so much. I really need all the prayer I can get right now.

 

[angelkiss]

I talked to my neighbor yesterday who is also a great friend of mine, and she said that she will refer me to her psych as soon as the psych gets back from her two week mission.
Thank you all so much for your prayer and support. God has truly listened to each and every one. The psych also happens to be a christian woman as well as, she is a therapist. She used to work at the place that I'm going now, but started on her own, for she said she couldn't give the patients the right care and time that they needed so now she has the opportunity to take as much time as needed to sit and listen and to help in any way possible. My friend said that she is a very wonderful person and she don't try to rush you out of the office and get to the next patient. She really takes her patients to heart.
Thank God for such a wonderful breakthrough. Even if the payments are not affordable, they say not to worry about it, that one's health is more important. They don't want anyone to stop getting help if they can't afford it. I do have insurance, so I think I'll be okay, but that is helpful to know in case my insurance isn't accepted for some reason.
Praise God!! I thank God for listening to all and showing me the way to another doc/therapist. And, she's also all rolled into one!!
Thank you all so very much for your prayers and support. I love y'all! 's and es!!

 

[Col303]

What an amazing blessing!!!! I am thrilled to hear that God has opened this incredible door for you. She sounds like just the perfect doc for you, someone who will truly listen to you and what a wonderful bonus that she is a Christian! I continue to stand in awe of God's love for us and taking care of every little detail!

 

[Pats]

I really hope all goes well with that, Angelkiss.

 

[angelkiss]

What an amazing blessing!!!! I am thrilled to hear that God has opened this incredible door for you. She sounds like just the perfect doc for you, someone who will truly listen to you and what a wonderful bonus that she is a Christian! I continue to stand in awe of God's love for us and taking care of every little detail!

Yes, I am in awe always. I am so thankful that God looks after each of us even though we fall short of his blessings. God is awesome!!

 

[angelkiss]

I really hope all goes well with that, Angelkiss.

Thank you Pat, and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!