Calvinists often get labeled as being mean and nasty because we do not promote the promiscuous love of God but have you guys noticed an increase of nasty, hateful Arminians?
I have.
The best way to deal with them is to recognize them for what they are, to discern the source, and take refuge in God our strength and shield.
How contradictory it is to preach that God loves everyone, and have hatred for our brothers. Even supposing we Calvinists were the enemy, does it not say in Scripture to love your enemies? So how contradictory it is to preach that God loves everyone, and have hatred for your enemies.
As for me, I am that inconsistent Calvinist, struggling more behind the monitor with these principals, struggling and failing to practice them within the household I live in. How contradictory of me! What a miserable sinner I am, ever in need of Christ, especially when I would walk away from it all, except for grace by which I am saved.
You know what? I am mean and nasty in my flesh. The old stone cold me is terrible I do not even like the old me. God has ways of revealing our inner thoughts, ways of bringing to our attention the indwelling sin that remains and the need to engage in spiritual warfare every day. Jesus rose from the dead, and me, I have the most difficult time just rising out of bed!
Pointing out character flaws on an internet forum though is mostly a diversion, a rabbit trail, often just plain ol' ad hom. The fact is, 1.) the most kind-hearted people in the world can have a mean streak in them, and 2.) are capable of giving into the temptation to sin, and 3.) there are "mean and nasty" people in every denomination/sect/religion, etc. in existence, because 3.) the tendency towards meanness is carnal and of the flesh, and even us Christians who have not gone on to be with the Lord remain in bodies of flesh and therefore must deal with the desires of the flesh versus the desires of the Spirit. Lord have mercy on the poor in Spirit.