May be ending a romantic relationship

[Christownsme]

OK, my girlfriend and I have talked marriage. She barely makes enough to get by, and I don't end up adding much to that with my SSDI after my own expenses. I was really digging the idea of marrying, but I think I was manic. I thought after I get some of my debts paid off, we could think about seriously marrying. But I think I was manic. I've told her what manic behavior is like, but she has told me things like "If you ever left me I'd break down to the core," and I know I'm in a spot now because we don't have enough to live on (I tried getting help going back to work, and the rehab for work office rejected me because I'm too tired and anxious - I should keep waiting until I feel better - it's been 6 years or more since I've felt ok to work - when will I feel better??) and she thinks I should be able to work at some point soon to help with the expenses, and I can't because I'm too sick. If I told her "let's just be friends," she'd equal that to me leaving her. She doesn't want to stay unmarried for the rest of her life. I don't want her hurt, but I'm getting to the point where I need to tell her "I don't think we can ever marry, due to my disability". I know there are those who do marry who have a disability, but this case isn't seeming to work. Other things that are happening are that I get really nervous when I'm around her, because she has high expectations of me, but I'm sick and I don't know how to do any better than I am. God, please guide our steps so your will is done!

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

I will be praying for you about this. Marriage is a huge thing. So yes make sure you know for sure. Do not rush into it.

 

[saved24]

You sound like a really nice guy, I am praying for you and girlfriend's relationship. The Lord cares! God bless.

 

[madison1101]

My therapist has always held a very high standard and expectations for me. I was working full time as an urban public school teacher, and part time at a psychiatric hospital, very high functioning. Unfortunately, chronic physical pain and the stress of working full time while in pain brought about a relapse in my alcoholism, which exacerbated my bipolar symptoms. I ended up in a psych ward and then inpatient rehab. Within a few months of that, I went out on disability and retired. My therapist was never supportive of my retirement, and never supported me using my bipolar disorder as a reason to stop working. My psychiatrist is a different story. I now work part time at the psychiatric hospital, and am able to handle that.

I hope you are in psychotherapy, and discussing all of this with a therapist.

Trish

 

[huskmc]

Sounds like the last thing you need now is marriage. I would be honest to her. I definitely wouldn't marry. From the sound of it, you're not even sure of each other. What would be worse, devastating divorce because you married unsure and founds things unworkable in that setting between you two, or being honest with her and finding alternatives till things become clear, separation being a possibility. This would be my advise to myself in this situation.