Masturbation......(common isn't it???)

[TheMainException]

Hey, I'm a girl and I deal with that giant "M-WORD" quite regularly.......it's pretty overwhelming for me overall in my life.....takes up some chunks of time and thoughts very often.....I am currently struggling to overcome my struggle with word porn.......real picture porn is somethingI've never gotten into and hopefully never will....but this has strongly grasped me and now I end up masturbating almost everyday......and that's not how I used to be spending my time a few months ago, that's for sure....it used to be occasional....but is become increasingly time and thought consuming. However......touching yourself in itself, I do not believe is sinful.....however, thinking specifically about a person when in that context (unless married, duh, hehe) is quite wrong. But I have also been wondering whether going at yourself while fantasies of people who don't exist play through your head is sinful....I'm just really struggling with understanding is wrong and what is right.......

and what is lust? I'm confused with that too......define it from wherever....the more the better....personally, biblically, dictionary, whatever....thanks a whole heck of a lot!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I commend your ability to admit this. It's pretty hard for girls to do so. But I'm finding that you guys do this just as much as guys.
I just don't believe it's a big deal.

Pornography...work on doing whatever you need to do to get out of that mode. I think it fills you with dehumanizing attitudes.

(Oops. I just clicked reply instead of my IM box)

WHere was I?

Pornography...you objectify people by turning them into, basically, things for pleasure. They're not people. They're toys. There is more to a human being than that. There is more to you than that. So yes. WHen you find yourself bored, do something. DO something constructive, get yourself away from the situation that leads you down the wrong way.

Lust. I equate lust with greed.
We are all created with sexual desire. It's straight from the factory. God put it there and it's a good thing. It's a part of who we are. I'll say again that it is a good thing. Now going to unhealthy lengths to satisfy that desire is another thing. When you are willing to use someone simply in order to satisfy yourself, that's bad. Sexual relationships involve two people who want to share and give to one another rather than just use the other person to satisfy themselves.

There. That is my view of things in a nutshell.

 

[Swanee]

Hey, I'm a girl and I deal with that giant "M-WORD" quite regularly.......it's pretty overwhelming for me overall in my life.....takes up some chunks of time and thoughts very often.....I am currently struggling to overcome my struggle with word porn.......real picture porn is somethingI've never gotten into and hopefully never will....but this has strongly grasped me and now I end up masturbating almost everyday......and that's not how I used to be spending my time a few months ago, that's for sure....it used to be occasional....but is become increasingly time and thought consuming. However......touching yourself in itself, I do not believe is sinful.....however, thinking specifically about a person when in that context (unless married, duh, hehe) is quite wrong. But I have also been wondering whether going at yourself while fantasies of people who don't exist play through your head is sinful....I'm just really struggling with understanding is wrong and what is right.......

and what is lust? I'm confused with that too......define it from wherever....the more the better....personally, biblically, dictionary, whatever....thanks a whole heck of a lot!

Hi LAWise, thanks for the honesty in your thread. I think that us guys sometimes don't understand that the girls can also struggle with this subject. In my own walk, I have found that masturbation and pornography can be all consuming, the more you do it, the more you want it. I guess we need to just try and get control. Give it to Jesus, and ask him to take it from you, as the scripture says, 1Peter:5:7: "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

If you would like to talk more, feel free to pm me.

Love You
GBY
Kel

 

[TheMainException]

Thanks guys

 

[guitar_gurl07]

Hey! I deal with the same thing and its pretty new for me. I'm also trying to stop because I do it more and more and it also takes up a lot of my time just like it does for you. If ya ever wanna talk just PM me or I'm on MSN all the time..I'm here hehe

~Haylee

 

[janny108]

Hi, I am female and can identify with your struggle with masturbation. I started when I was a young teen. My mom had erotic fiction, my dad had Playboy. They couldn't understand why I did it I think. It took a few years after I felt convicted it was not right. But for many years I did it (even though I was married!) cause I did not think it was wrong, nor did I have any real concrete teaching about it biblically.
I don't do it anymore, so there is hope for you.You took the 1st step by telling everyone here that you had a problem. That's what I did too; to get it all into the light and out of the darkness. With patience and persistence you will be free!

Jan

 

[viperblue72]

I was at ALIVE music festival a few years ago and heard an awesome sermon on lust. the guy basically said that lust is desiring the forbidden and that once you have that forbidden then its no longer forbidden by definition so it becomes more involved and perverse(for example it could lead from soft core to hardcore to kiddie porn to rape to anything imaginable) Its nothing but a spider web that the more you struggle with it, the deeper in you get.

 

[TheMainException]

I was at ALIVE music festival a few years ago and heard an awesome sermon on lust. the guy basically said that lust is desiring the forbidden and that once you have that forbidden then its no longer forbidden by definition so it becomes more involved and perverse(for example it could lead from soft core to hardcore to kiddie porn to rape to anything imaginable) Its nothing but a spider web that the more you struggle with it, the deeper in you get.

I wish the good stuff worked this well....but it's so much for a struggle against our evil nature....

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Our natures were made by God.
But as fallen creatures we have become a little bent.

For porn, free time is your worst enemy. If you are at the computer with nothing to do, shut it down and go somewhere else. Just get away.
Next, you have to fill that free time with something constructive. It doesn't *have* to be reading your bible. Read a book. Do homework. Learn about something something.

 

[Mashley]

I think that fantasizing about a person that is not real is probably wrong. I do it a lot, but sometimes feel guilty. I rationalize that it's okay because that person isn't real, it's my future husband that I just haven't met. I guess it is still lust though, because it is wanting someone that you don't have that you aren't married to.

 

[FlyerBoy]

I start masturbating at a very young age. I think i was 11. I find that really strange that i was so young. I feel that it is not good to do all the time but can be better then other things like sex. if you get the urge you can touch instead and save sex for marriage like you are supposed to. I am finding it a little difficult to talk about this subject but am trying. so i know that it must of taken a lot of guts to make this thread and i thank you for it. It has helped me also learn more about a topic that has been buging me.

You can feel free to PM me or even aol instant message me. I would be more open one on one then with hundreds of people.
Jacob

 

[janny108]

What about if you stopped masturbating, but still fantasize about, say, rock stars? Not someone you know?
How can you stop this?
Jan

 

[janny108]

I fantasize mainly because my husband is basically non responsive. He is not affectionate, does not initiate intimacy. I get turned off because I don't think he knows how to really reach me, and he smells bad. (he smokes)
What to do if you want to try to overcome, and he stays the same?
Jan

 

[ChristianCenturion]

I fantasize mainly because my husband is basically non responsive. He is not affectionate, does not initiate intimacy. I get turned off because I don't think he knows how to really reach me, and he smells bad. (he smokes)
What to do if you want to try to overcome, and he stays the same?
Jan

I understand, and I would suggest that this not be left to its own demise. God has intended marriage to be a reward and beneficial. Might I suggest that you seek some study or other Christian means of addressing this. I have found "Love and Respect" to be helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/1591451876/104-2815965-2542347?_encoding=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

Number one would also be not to get 'tunnel vision' and lose hope.
I wish you and your marriage blessings.

 

[janny108]

Thanks for the recommendation. I think in my case it may be about learning contentment as well. I'm getting Joshua Harris' book and I did talk to my husband about my concerns. (it took courage!)
Jan

 

[ChristianCenturion]

Thanks for the recommendation. I think in my case it may be about learning contentment as well. I'm getting Joshua Harris' book and I did talk to my husband about my concerns. (it took courage!)
Jan

Yes, you did well by addressing it and it did take courage.

I wish you peace and fulfillment in your journey.

 

[Swanee]

Thanks for the recommendation. I think in my case it may be about learning contentment as well. I'm getting Joshua Harris' book and I did talk to my husband about my concerns. (it took courage!)
Jan

Hi Jan, I would be interested in what your husbands reaction was to your concerns.

I hope that he has taken it on board, and accept some of his responsibilities.

Praying for you.

Kel

 

[janny108]

He did not say much. He's pretty nonresponsive in a lot of ways, I'm trying to dwell on the positives he has. At least I let him know how I feel. I'm praying for him too, more than ever. Our church does not have any real way of people getting to know each other, so that has been a void also. thanks for your prayers.
Jan

 

[Johnnz]

Keep up the discussions.

Many men need quite a bit of tuition about meeting their wives needs, and how to give them sexual satisfaction. Couples do really need to discuss these things openly. It can do wonders for yoru marriage.

John
NZ

 

[Swanee]

Jan, it is really difficult, as in todays society we are surrounded by sexual images. As we know, they use sexual images to sell all sorts of items, and for those of us who who face this problem (fantasizing), and who perhaps don't have any other way of release, it is very difficult.

I know you would like your husband to initiate intimacy, but as long as he responds to you when you initiate it, i hope he does.

I was in a marriage where intimacy wasn't important to my spouse, and I guess I leared to live without it to some extent, but it does put more pressure on your imaging and thought processes. The worst thing that can happen is that you start to seek sexual contentment and fullfilment in other places, whether it is in fantasizing or more serious. You need to somehow make your husband realise that it is a shared responsibility to meet each others needs.

I continue to pray for you.