massage parlor tempatation

[dbartley]

Hi everyone, I am a VERY happily married guy with kids.
For some reason, I have become tempted to go to an erotic massage parlor. First time, I didn't enjoy it and then went to another to give it another try. Still didn't get anything out of it but have gone 5 times! I feel guilty about it and dissapointed myself as I feel like a creep.

She touched me, I touched her breasts once but I have never allowed myself to do anything more as I am paranoid about STD's.

Well, last night, after not going for a few months was so tempted that I gave in again. I am afraid that this is a habit. I don't want to do this anymore but after the guilt, the temptation returns. I can't tell anyone as I am too ashamed and feel like a pervert. Help me!

 

[goldenviolet]

dbartley, have you given serious thought to how many sins and lies are involved in this. maybe thinking about how spiritually dangerous this is, and the magnitude of all the consquences to your life and your family's... will help you fight from doing anything futher. also, have you spent some time alone with the Lord? confess and ask for help. turn your temptations over to Him and devotion to get in the word and back on track. think about your role in life and to your family. replace your temptation with fulfilling your purposes and role. God bless you!

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

You need to stop going to the parlor. You need to tell a pastor/Christian about this and get some accountability. You are cheating on your wife. If it helps you to stop: tell your wife! She needs to know what is going on, and she and you will need to work this out. Harsh? Maybe, but you really need to stop doing this.

 

[Anti Existance]

Just let your wife give you a massage , with a little practise she'll become even better then whatever the hell that person does to you. Just put yourself in your childs shoes , now what would you think if you learned that your dad was getting erotic massages putting his children's future at risk , hurting his wife emotionally and risking a divorce , its a good thing you come for help here. NEVER EVER do this again, and NEVER tell this to your wife EVER for as long as you live. Adultery is a SIN!

 

[Bonhoffer]

Hi everyone, I am a VERY happily married guy with kids.
For some reason, I have become tempted to go to an erotic massage parlor. First time, I didn't enjoy it and then went to another to give it another try. Still didn't get anything out of it but have gone 5 times! I feel guilty about it and dissapointed myself as I feel like a creep.

She touched me, I touched her breasts once but I have never allowed myself to do anything more as I am paranoid about STD's.

Well, last night, after not going for a few months was so tempted that I gave in again. I am afraid that this is a habit. I don't want to do this anymore but after the guilt, the temptation returns. I can't tell anyone as I am too ashamed and feel like a pervert. Help me!

DBartley, I understand. I have been tempted to go to strip clubs when i am a night out. sure you have sinned simply by going to these places and you need to find a way of making sure that you dont do it again. However you are not a pervert. The fact that you have acknowledged this as sin and feel shame over it proves that God is still working in your life. Its a brave step to admit your guilt and realise you have a problem. However this is a problem that cannot be beaten by human strength. You should open yourself to the power of the Holy Spirit. Ask for Him to make you feel sick whenever you go near to one of these places. Of course ask for forgiveness too. Ask to be delivered from temptation. Remember the Lords prayer. Also remember that God said He would not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. Therefore remember that promise and fully rely on Jesus. God Bless you!!

 

[Victory of the Cross]

I suggest telling a pastor, and finding a accountability partner, as for telling your wife, i would pray about that before doing anything, it might just cause her a lot of pain

 

[wayoutsidethebox]

A couple quick things:
1.Its not in your heart to go so dont give into your bodies desire to. You recall Pauls war about the evil he doesnt want to do he finds himself doing... its the same things. You love you wife, you know its wrong (both a sin and immoral) and you know the consequences of endulging your bodies desires will cause you and people around you to suffer.
2.Accountability. I know you have at least one man in your life that will tell you the truth about yourself, in love. Get with him and have a heart to heart and pray.

Sometimes a mans best friend is the man who will pop you in the knee with a bat when you are going to or have done something dumb.

 

[dbartley]

It's me, the one who wrote this.

Why have I been doing this? I really don't know. The pain, sleepless nights, guilt and shame consume me for weeks and even months after. I have read the Bible and it has helped but after the pain goes, I stop reading....and even praying

If anything good has come of this, I have become a stronger Christian in that I actually started to read the Bible! You see, I believe but have never needed Jesus in this sort of way. I truly feel terrible for these sins. This has brought me closer to God in that I realize how much I need Him and love Him. I've always been a believer, but never really needed him like this.

I've never dissapointed myself as I have in my life. I am a morally good person with a very strong conscience but for some reason I choose to torture myself with this temptation. On a lighter note, I am wasting my money as I take such safety precautions that I don't really do much when I'm there!

I guess it might be the taboo and the curiosity that I enjoy.

I am now just waiting for time to heal my wounds of guilt. WHen I was going to the place, I kept saying to myself "you shouldn't" "stop", then the other side was saying "come on, you don't get out much, just see what it's like..." "come on, just this once" "one more time". Am I addicted? No, but I don't want to get tempted every few months after I recover from the shame.

Thanks for your prayers. I have read that Jesus will love me no matter what, but I feel like I have tarnished my reputation in his eyes, and my own. I feel like I wil forever carry this heavy rock to remind me of where I went. I also am afraid that I will be punished and found out- that is my guilt playing on my mind.

THanks for your prayers.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Jesus will love you no matter what, but remember that He does not love sin. Flee from it. (and I would recommend telling your wife. How can your relationship survive if the foundation is not honesty and trust?)

 

[DarkCloud]

When do you usually go to these parlors? After work? If so I would try to find something mandatory so that you could not stop by. For example, join a gym and find a work out parner in which you have to meet at a certain time after work. This way, you won't have time to stop at the parlor. Then after the gym you will probably want to go home and shower and eat instead of go to the parlor. Plus if you come home too late it will be suspicious. Hopefully over time you will get over this. It doesn't sound like you do it for sexual reasons, so I don't really get your desire for going. But maybe if my above idea doesn't help you should see a psychologist to see what you have these funny desires.

 

[SavedByAnAngel]

Where do you tell your wife you are going to when you do go??? It's all been said in the above posts. I would just like to add.
If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the devil's orchard!

 

[dbartley]

Thanks for your help!

It's not that regular that I go. I've gone 5 times in the past year- too many times. I am with my family 99% of the time so I'd go if I had half hour free on the way home from somewhere.

It's really over though. I started 6 months ago with getting rid of all porn, I've set up a porn blocker and put the password under the clock radio beside my wife's side of the bed, blocked all websites which take me to these massage ads. For the first time, I feel I can really do this. Before, I'd feel guilt for 2 months and then end up going again. I need your prayers and I'll pray as well and read the Bible. Please don't look down on me. This is my darkest secret that I am most ashamed of.

I am starting again.

 

[RomanPrincess]

it will become a bad habit and a handful of sins if you don't get control of yourself now.PRAY!!! ask God for strength to not do this again.If you did not enjoy it the first time then why do you continuee to go again and again??? Stop while your ahead,nip this problem in the bud.
satan has a strong hold on you and you need to rebuke and donot go to this place any loger,infact don't go anywhere near it if that's what it takes to stop.When ever you get this thought entering your mind of you going ,stop and rebuke,pray,and shake off those evil thoughts.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

It's good that you are blocking the porn and trying to get help with all this. I still think a counselor might be a good idea.

And I would advice you to tell your wife about this. It may be hard, but you have commited a sin against her and God. You have to ask God's forgiveness, and her forgiveness too. You have commited adultery.

 

[DarkCloud]

I would not tell your wife. You still have a chance to get out of this clean. If you give it up, then take satisfaction in that. If you tell her, you will just hurt her for no reason, and these things really bother women. Technically, you have not done anything too wrong yet. It is not like you had sex with the prostitutes. So just quit playing with fire and find some new hobbies.

 

[dbartley]

I would not tell your wife. You still have a chance to get out of this clean. If you give it up, then take satisfaction in that. If you tell her, you will just hurt her for no reason, and these things really bother women. Technically, you have not done anything too wrong yet. It is not like you had sex with the prostitutes. So just quit playing with fire and find some new hobbies.

I agree with you! Thanks

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

I would not tell your wife. You still have a chance to get out of this clean. If you give it up, then take satisfaction in that. If you tell her, you will just hurt her for no reason, and these things really bother women. Technically, you have not done anything too wrong yet. It is not like you had sex with the prostitutes. So just quit playing with fire and find some new hobbies.

Why do you think it is ok not to tell your wife if this has occurred? He has commited adultery and has "cheated" on his wife. If you were the wife, would you want to know? If not, why? I would want to know because how can their be genuine trust and love in a relationship if one is doing things behind their back...and then even when they commit to changing, they do not bring up the fact?

So, if you wife cheats on you with another man...you don't want to know about it?

 

[dbartley]

Why do you think it is ok not to tell your wife if this has occurred? He has commited adultery and has "cheated" on his wife. If you were the wife, would you want to know? If not, why? I would want to know because how can their be genuine trust and love in a relationship if one is doing things behind their back...and then even when they commit to changing, they do not bring up the fact?

So, if you wife cheats on you with another man...you don't want to know about it?

I have given it thought and decided to come clean with my wife. I am so scared and nervous but if I really want to make a change, I need her help. I need to be honest with her and face the fact that I've made a mistake. I love her so much. I am hurting so much as well. This isn't going to be easy but I really want to change my life. Wish me luck and pray for the both of us.

 

[Victory of the Cross]

I am sure it will fine my friend, she will see your repentance