Marrying someone that isn't spirit filled?

[superdave]

Me and my friends have had this debate going on for some time is it alright to marry a Christian that isn't spirit filled. One of my friends says no there it is not right at all- that it is being unequally yoked. My other friend thinks it's not a big deal. I am in the middle- I believe that we should give everyone a chance and not judge people and we don't need to seperate ourselves in this little elite Christian Group. But also, I believe that my wife has got to have the same beliefs I have- and since, Tongues, Extravagant Worship, Healing, Powerful Prayer and Prophecy are big things to me- I want my wife to be in agreement behind me that these things are important to her as well.

But the issue is always with the big thing that causes Controversy: Tongues.

I have heard many stories where a husband or a wife is spirit filled and there husband or wife isn't and they come into it- later. I believe that can happen. But also is it wrong to take that risk if they won't?

And that's another view point of mine- I think that it's ok- just as long as they are open to it. They might not speak in tongues, but just as least they are totally closed out to it- I think it's alright...

Anyway- I think this is an interesting subject- especially among young Charismatics. Anyway...what do you guys think?

 

[Anthony]

Me and my friends have had this debate going on for some time is it alright to marry a Christian that isn't spirit filled.

All Christians are spirit-filled. There is no such thing as a un-filled Christian. The only difference among Christians is the decision to become smaller so he(Spirit) can become larger in one's life.

 

[Georgius]

This is an excellent question and I pray that God will send someone with Divinely Inspired Wisdom to come with the full answer. I am sorry Superdave I don't think I have it for you. Ultimately that is kind of what I have to say but I WILL tell you what my experience was like in regards to getting married.

I was _not_ a charismatic (or whatever you want to call it) when I got engaged to my wife. Far from it. I was raised Lutheran, my wife Methodist and we met at a Lutheran college.

God was very important in both of our lives however and so we had some HEATED discussions/debates on the topic after we decided to get engaged but before the marriage. It was tough, very tough and heart-wrenching at times. My wife has traveled in Russian and Eastern Europe extensively and is fluent in many languages. She was awed by the beauty of the Russian Orthodoxy when over there. She also translated this into an affection for American Catholics.

My mother was raised Roman Catholic and left to the Lutheran Church after she married my father (slacker-believer, i.e. probably believed but didn't say/do much about it). Now, I had done extensive searching for a long time looking for the Truth. I even traveled to Israel to the Shrine of the Book before I was able to believe that the Bible is the unerring Word of God!

So, no offense to anyone who does follow those denominations, but Catholicism and Orthodoxy were at the top of my lists of beliefs I disagreed with because of biblical teachings. My wife did not understand this right away. So we discussed the BIG THREE:

1) Will we have children/how many/when?
2) Where will we live?
3) Where will we worship/what kinds of churches are acceptable/where will we take our children?

My wife wanted to take our children to Catholic and Orthodoxy churches sometimes and I was adamantly opposed to that. Now, granted this was before we knew that I was the spiritual leader and all that so you have to understand we did it all the HARD WAY! LOL

Ok, so ultimately we understood each others beliefs and that the MOST IMPORTANT thing was our love to one another and that God was the center of our relationship. For awhile we started going to the Lutheran church I grew up in (and that we were married at) but then were invited to a Word Church by some of our best friends. Lets just say "the sheep shall know the shepherd" is absolutely true

We had different beliefs about doctrine, but we were not necessarily unlike-minded believers. Prayer and openness to God ultimately are the best guides. If you meet someone you are supposed to marry (and I KNOW young people don't like hearing this, at least I didn't) you will know, especially if you are open to God. In my case my wife heard the Lord tell her very clearly "This is your new best friend" the second she laid eyes on me. I knew very soon upon meeting her too, and yet we were "only friends" for 3 years before we had the nerve to date, 4 months after that we were engaged, a year later married. So have patience, I know its tough but blessings be upon you!

 

[ydouxist]

All Christians are spirit-filled. There is no such thing as a un-filled Christian. The only difference among Christians is the decision to become smaller so he(Spirit) and become larger in one's life.

Amen.

Do they love the Lord? That's all that matters.
You mean do they speak in tongues?
God gives gifts to each one just as He determines.
I know a pastor who divorced his wife because she didn't speak in tongues.
The church needs to come together as one body. And stop being so fragmented.

I'm sorry if you thought I was rude but this really irritates me.

 

[Big Mouth Nana]

All Christians are spirit-filled. There is no such thing as a un-filled Christian. The only difference among Christians is the decision to become smaller so he(Spirit) can become larger in one's life.

I disagree with this statement. There is the Spirit that draws to salvation, and there is the infilling of the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of tongues. All believers have the Spirit of God of course, but there are different manifestations of the Spirit. One example...the day of Pentecost.....Unless I am misunderstanding you here?

 

[Anthony]

I disagree with this statement. There is the Spirit that draws to salvation, and there is the infilling of the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of tongues. All believers have the Spirit of God of course, but there are different manifestations of the Spirit. One example...the day of Pentecost.....Unless I am misunderstanding you here?

The orginal poster made a reference to "un-filled" by the Spirit Christians. Un-filled means "empty of" the Holy Spirit.

All Christians are filled and indewelled by the Holy Spirit and this is later evidenced by the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Gifts could be considered another form of proof but they are not a required proof of being filled or not being filled.

There is only one kind of Christian, but many different walks.

 

[superdave]

Amen.

Do they love the Lord? That's all that matters.
You mean do they speak in tongues?
God gives gifts to each one just as He determines.
I know a pastor who divorced his wife because she didn't speak in tongues.
The church needs to come together as one body. And stop being so fragmented.

I'm sorry if you thought I was rude but this really irritates me.

I really don't care if my wife doesn't speak in tongues- if she is a Baptist, Methodist, or EVEN Catholic. But the thing I want is that she accepts the way I was raised and sees me as the leader- and does not persecute my beliefs. I believe that everyone has the capacity for the gift of tongues... that is what I believe.

Also when you are filled with the spirit- It means you recieve the fullest extent of the Holy Spirit- all Christians have the Holy Spirit, Not all Christians are Spirit Filled- this is not fragmentation- this is reality.

 

[Anthony]

Also when you are filled with the spirit- It means you recieve the fullest extent of the Holy Spirit- all Christians have the Holy Spirit, Not all Christians are Spirit Filled- this is not fragmentation- this is reality.

We determine how much space we give the Holy Spirit to work. All Christians are spirit filled, we limit the Holy Spirit. Spirit-Filled has become in recent times over used wording.

To say any Christian is not Spirit-Filled is misleading and confusing language. It also gives the wrong impression to non-Christians, to say the least is even more confusing for them.

There are some Christians who feel that through special ceremonies they can reach a higher level of Christian Spirit fillness, that somehow the level or the space the Spirit has to work can be determine by a ceremony. It is by our actions and faith that we open more space for the Holy Spirit to work. It doesn't come by mechanics.

No one is 100% spirit filled, to say so would mean the person could no longer sin.

 

[superdave]

I am sorry I disagree- I believe Filled with the Spirit and Baptized in the Spirit are the same thing. I don't think anyone of us can limit the Holy Spirit- he's ruling us- or we are rejecting him.

 

[Apollo Rhetor]

I disagree with this statement. There is the Spirit that draws to salvation, and there is the infilling of the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of tongues. All believers have the Spirit of God of course, but there are different manifestations of the Spirit. One example...the day of Pentecost.....Unless I am misunderstanding you here?

This is a method some use to separate Christians. The pastor of my new church told me a story as he was driving with a group of people to some Christian event. He passed a bus full of Christians, and knew because of the sticker on the side. They called out to him as he drove past "are you a Christian?", to which he replied "Yes!" They then asked him "do you speak in tongues?", to which he replied "no." So they drove on.

Such gifts as tongues are not for today, I have not heard of a true prophet since the early Christian church. I used to be a Christian, so excited about prophecies, healings, and more miracles. I know exactly how it feels to think that those feelings in your stomach are God. I am now thankfully in a Reformed church that pays no heed to these things.

The original poster was referring I'd say to what you refer to, a "second" filling of the Spirit which grants gifts. However, I contend that these gifts you claim you have or have seen are not from God, but are instead from yourselves or from another sinister source. Show me a prophet who has not uttered a single lie and I will reconsider.
For now I stand with Jonathan Edwards, who called it mischevious the idea that some think ' that it is God's manner in these
days, to guide his saints, at least some that are more eminent, by inspiration, or immediate revelation. They suppose he makes known to them what shall come to pass hereafter, or what it is his will that they should do, by impressions made upon their minds, either with or without texts of Scripture: whereby
something is made known to them that is not taught in the Scripture. By such a notion the devil has a great door opened for him and if once this opinion should come to be fully yielded to, and established in the church of God, Satan
would have opportunity thereby to set up himself as the guide and oracle of God's people...' (Jonathan Edwards, Thoughts on the Revival, Works IV.II, p.404)

So I write about what you say, partially out of annoyance with the idea that such a second filling takes place today, and also out of annoyance with the original question of this thread. Our Lord Jesus gives us salvation by grace through faith, not through miracles, which were given as a sign during His ministry and shortly afterwards, but not now.
Forgive me if I have misunderstood your post, but there are undercurrents of something I dislike anyway - so I post this because I think it's relevant to the thread in general, even if it's not an accurate response to your words.

There is so much I can say about this topic. I know most of you will, like I used to, bring to mind miracles that you have seen or have heard of, and think that I would be unable to reject the gifts if only I'd seen or experienced what you have. Trust me, I've been there. So many things to say, but so little space.

 

[Andrew]

Superdave,

The Bible only warns that the partner should be a believer, for what has righteousness got to do with unrighteousness.

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Beyond that its really just a matter of whether you can live with someone who likes extravagant worship or not, who likes speaking in tongues or not, who likes baseball and ice-cream or not...

If you really prefer someone who is Spirit-filled, then go for it.

 

[Anthony]

I am sorry I disagree- I believe Filled with the Spirit and Baptized in the Spirit are the same thing. I don't think anyone of us can limit the Holy Spirit- he's ruling us- or we are rejecting him.

You're right we disagree

The Holy Spirit is 100% inside, but he is not in control 100% of the time. All Christians have the Holy Spirit and are Spirit-Filled. Are saying that there are Christians, who live their faith who do not have the Holy Spirit inside?

 

[Anthony]

Such gifts as tongues are not for today, I have not heard of a true prophet since the early Christian church.

Tyreth - I agree with most of what you said, and feel it is right on. But on the other hand I disagree, all the gifts available to the Holy Spirt to give out. Not just the political correct gifts.

What is not for today is the puffing up and separation of Christians caused by Pharisee Christians who have turn the gift of tongues into something it was never intended. This is exactly what Paul warned about, and was worried about in the early church when the Gnostic Beliefs attempted to evade Christianity.

But other than that I agree with the rest of what you stated.

 

[superdave]

That is truly wrong to seperate- I tend never to seperate- It's just that I know In my home- I want there to be agreement in the way we believe. I believe in the Kingdom of God- I believe the Spirit is alive and working today through his bride. I bless all denominations- I do think they need the Holy Spirit- but they have their convictions in believing the way they do... so they are blessed by me...

It's just I think in the home there should be a tight agreement with the husband and wife the way the family should believe.

 

[Anthony]

That is truly wrong to seperate- I tend never to seperate- It's just that I know In my home- I want there to be agreement in the way we believe. I believe in the Kingdom of God- I believe the Spirit is alive and working today through his bride. I bless all denominations- I do think they need the Holy Spirit- but they have their convictions in believing the way they do... so they are blessed by me...

It's just I think in the home there should be a tight agreement with the husband and wife the way the family should believe.

Interesting that you place the emphasis on husband and wife believing in the same way.

It is not the way you believe, but what and who you believe in. Also no two Christians will be equally mature or the same in their walk/faith. They can be equally yoked by not equally the same in their walks. Husband and Wife are too be one flesh together with the indwelled Holy Spirit, but not Christian clones. We each have our own separate personalities and functions.


1CO 12:14-20
Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?

But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

 

[ChurchBoy]

You're right we disagree

The Holy Spirit is 100% inside, but he is not in control 100% of the time.

Anthony,

I must humbly disagree with you on this statement. When is the Holy Spirit not in control? If there is anytime when the Holy Spirit is not in control then He can't be God, right? God is ALWAYS sovereign and in control.

 

[Crosslight]

Hey

Ouch.. what a series we have going on here..

Superdave.. I just want to say to your question.. I have seen a few marriages go bad because of the couples being "spiritually unequally yoked."

To have the heart and mind of God, to feel the compassions He does, weep when He weep, laugh and rejoice when He does.. changes the life of a person. It will be so much more of an enjoyment for the couple if they live and breath as a deer pants for water, together, after their Lord. Such a joy for them, and for the Lord too.

But, to me.. I say this.. Hear God and obey.. His sheep hear His voice, if we love Him, obey Him.


Shalom,
stacie

 

[Anthony]

Anthony,

I must humbly disagree with you on this statement. When is the Holy Spirit not in control? If there is anytime when the Holy Spirit is not in control then He can't be God, right? God is ALWAYS sovereign and in control.

God- yes is always in control. We are talking about day-to-day, moment-to-monent control of your actions, your decisions

We are in control of our actions (Free Will), and because we don't do a good job of it we sin.

Only by turning our control center over to the Holy Spirit, can we hope to get a handle on our sinning. If the Holy Spirit was truly in control of your decision making process you would have ceased to sin long ago.

 

[FoundInGrace]

I agree that defining Christians by whether they are spirit-filled or not separates and causes division. It is unfortunate that so much emphasis is placed on this as perhaps not as much is placed on other facets of spiritual work eg self-control, kindness, treating people with respect as people etc. A lot is to be said for a person with such qualities as they are qualities that non-christians can relate to rather than perhaps the more out there kind of things that the title 'being spirit-filled' tends to make one think of. Most people relate to down to earth concepts I reckon.
In one church I used to go to there was so much pressure to be 'spirit filled' it was amazing and tiring.
Christ died on the cross as our Saviour, man if the woman you're interested in is into that then you're okay. I have wondered if God allows people with different approaches to Him and relationships with Him to get together so they can learn more about Him than they would otherwise by sticking with people who see Him the same way maybe.
Not sure if that last sentence makes sense but maybe you get what I'm trying to say.
If you trust God, He can cover your marriage in grace and work it for His glory regardless of how you rate your own or spouse's spirit-filled-ness.

 

[Svt4Him]

Now what if you marry someone who can speak in tongues but doesn't. Wouldn't they be worse off? Or maybe this has nothing to do with anything. You're telling me that a pastor divorced his wife because she wouldn't edify herself? Lame. Not to minimize the gift, because it's a good gift. But it's a gift. What if I said I'd divorce my wife because she didn't open her Christmas present from me?